Fist Date Recommendations?

Frogger,

It sounds as if she sees the relationship growing, and is unsure if that is the way he feels. If that's right, then perhaps she should tell him, and get his response. And, why can she not ask him out on a date. Sounds like it would be a welcomed surprise. And, if she wants it to be more than just a hanging our with my bud kinda dinner, she can get creative. Why not a written invitation to meet a special someone at dinner at ___, at 7;00pm. Hopefully, he'll dress appropriately for the occasion. And, then, she can "appear" and take his breath away....(I'm seeing her in a black dress as in Jerry Maguire.."that's not a dress, that's an Audrey Hepburn movie!" Is this too much a romance novel thing?)

It'd get my attention, for sure.

Good Luck!

 

Think you hit the nail on the head, H6. It's been awhile and I think she's so worried about rejection she's scaring herself. Don't know what else to tell her.

Think I'll mention about the late lunch, early supper thing. Drinks would probably be out of the question. Neither one will touch alcohol if they have to drive.


Frogger

 

Tell em to meet up for ice cream, since they don't drink :mrgreen:

 

Oh, that's a good idea. Thanks HG!

 

Eating on a first date is uncomfortable.

Tell them to go bowling. No one looks cute bowling and they can both be equally uncoordinated.

 

Very good point Jennifer, or even catch a movie - the eating thing can be uncomfortable.

 

A movie is okay-but you don't get to know each other. I like the bowling idea. Any activity date is better than just a meal. I remember going on dinner and a movie dates. They usually felt ackward. At least when the movie came first, it gave us something to talk about.

 

Bear with the lengthy XY psycho stuff, but it's real.

Bowling or even seeing a movie seems like a thing that "buds" can and do as it is. My drift was that she was seeking to elevate the relationship.

C'mon ladies, try and see it from a XY POV. If you ask me to go bowling, then my T. Rex brain pretty much interprets this as a BOWLING thing, and not a date. And, for most males, it's always about "measuring", so it could become a pin scoring competition, which is not what she wants.

A movie tends to have people sitting beside each other, with the visual orientation forward to the screen, not looking at each other. And how does one pick a safe movie, if you want to move the relationship forward?

If you pick a new release..ala Friday night's premiere of a movie, chances are that the movie really gets the focus. If it's a "chick" flick, most (ok...99.89%) males hate them, and would only sit through it because the popcorn at the theater is better than what they microwave.

If it's a good comedy, the the plot/laughter will probably saturate the XY radar, so no emotional message comes through. If it's a pirate movie, or "Ahnuld the Governator" kind of movie, then most of us may seem to be enjoying it..and we are..as long as you realize that we are fantasizing about being pirates..not so much for the Keira Knightly companionship, but because we really haven't grown up, and we want to wear swashbuckling clothes (Yes, Depp can pull it off, but a lot of males think his character's sexuality is ..undecided) in a manner where our buds won't think we're gay, we get to shoot guns and cannons and play with swords.

For most XY's, taking us out of the "buds" environment alerts us, via the XY radar, that something different is going on. We may not put together all of the clues as rapidly as you might like, but we're alerted, nonetheless. Asking us out to dinner, or inviting us via a written invitation sets in motion some of the stored away lessons that Momma taught us when we were 5: Things written have more impact than most things spoken, always dress well for dinner with a girl because if she dresses up nicely, it's a really important thing, and mind your manners. When a guy gets a written invitation, those alarms go off, and he will begin to realize that things are different. If a lady shows up dressed far more "dressy' than he normally encounters her..the message has been sent and received.

If she asks him to dinner..Most XY's ( I said most...all but the most dense of us) should interpret a dinner invite as something more than usual. At a buzzing, beginning awareness that things are gonna change.

 

Wow, H6, very good interpretation of your species . Thanks for all the advice. We definitely want the radar up on this one, and we want her well-received too!


Frogger

 

For a fist date I would suggest some Ky, lotion, or a good moisturizing conditioner. :mrgreen:

 

:shock::lol::lol::lol:

 

...and I'll surely keep that in mind to pass along .

Frogger

 

i think any place they can talk at is fine. Talking is how people get to know one another.
An informal dinner at texas steakhouse or a CDH is cool. they can drink tea or soda. Alcohol not required. (unless they are dating some peoplefrom the boards. then...hee hee hee .) but anyway, a relaxed place is good. She should also get dresses nice. Not too over the top. look at me, but neat, clean, and pulled together. And, ( yeah, dont choke everybody who knows me ), but nothing too short or low cut that could just send a message of looking for a quick roll....or fist..or whatever....

 

LOL, nothing that shows too much huh, Pepps?

I'll see her tonite and pass along all the info. Cross your fingers!



Frogger