Next Teen Night is Tonight.

And by putting a rule like that on them, will only hurt them down the long run. They will go to it and disobey you. Be sure to let me know when they are of age to attend, I almost guarentee they would showup.

 

Interesting method of parenting you have there. "I can't stop it, so i'll just allow it." GG. I'll have to remember that when i have kids.

 

What a coward. If you are a parent, you are the poster-child for lazy, neglectful and just plain ignorant. :roll:

If you are a teen who thinks you sound like an adult, you are just plain ignorant and were not raised right.

 

You can be close to your daughter without condoning or encouraging bad behavior. Remember YOU are her parent, not her friend. If you can't explain to her that this is inappropriate, then who will? Certainly not her peers! There are safer and more controlled environments than this!

 

Ok, seriously?? I do agree that the age for the club should be 15/16-18. After 18, they can go to CITY LIMITS in raleigh on any night and get in and do the same stuff, they can also do bikini bull riding at city limits. If you constantly do not allow your children to do stuff that is the "norm" for their age group, they are not only going to pull away from you, but they will also stop talking to you, start lying to you and doing stuff worse than what they would be doing should they be allowed to go to the club. I have 4 year old son, and while he will not be allowed to go to these types of places at 12-14, once he hits, 15, I'm not going to hold him back from having a life. I'm also not going to live in an alternate universe and expect my son to not do things to get into some trouble and to live like a saint. You cannot honestly expect any business besides a church to play constant gospel type music. They would have no business. If you're going to not go to magoo's because of this, turn off the radio's too, they play the same music.
K

 

I hate to think about the things your son will face 10 yrs from now.

Have you listened to any of this music? There is a huge gap between this and gospel. I'm not saying you have to force christian music down their throats so that they are put-off by it, but there's lots of contemporary christian music out there that my teens enjoy. Basically...lead by example,
even as simple as choosing a station such as 101.5 instead of G105.

My teens (16 & 20) have been raised to respect themselves and not get so caught-up in what everybody else thinks is acceptable, my 16 yr old would not even want to go to a place like this. The 20 yr, well we've tried to instill in him respect for himself and to respect girls that he goes out with. So far, it has been my opinion that the girls are much more willing to throw themselves at guys....anything to get attention, how sad.

 

My son will face the same "obstacles" that yours are facing. I personally do not listen to 101.5 and will not force my son to. By forcing children to do certain things, it makes the other things that you are forbidding look that much more appealing. I do lead by example. My fiancee does not treat me poorly, he treats me with respect and love, and my son will learn from that. Part of growing up is learning thru your actions and making some mistakes. Not mommy and daddy making all the decisions and you just kind of going with it.
K

 

I agree with you on not forcing things and letting them make their own decisions. But you have to equip them with those decision making skills.
For ex. most young kids don't delight in brushing their teeth or taking a bath, cleaning up their rooms etc. So in some cases (I hope) you do somehow get them to do the "right" thing either by sitting down with them and explaning why certain things have to be done, or by a chore reward system etc. whatever works best for you and your child.

So what I'm saying (or trying to say LOL!) is that these boundaries
or limitations (that are in their best interest) should continue as they get older. There are things that parents can and should do to some extent that our younger society will realize that dressing and acting like hookers and pimps is not acceptable and should not be glamourized. (I come in peace :-D )

 

All children/pre-teens/teenagers face the same obstacles (dancing, drugs, smoking, racism, sex, etc) at some point during their 'formative' years.....When all is said and done, all you can do as parents is try and raise them and teach them what you (as their parent) believe to be right and hope they make good choices and decisions when you aren't there to make it for them. :lol:

 

How many remember their freshman year of college where all of these kids experinced their first taste of freedom ..... usually face down in their own vomit ... because they had not had any freedom prior to that at home?

Incremental steps seem more reasonable to me and that approach worked with my two sons ... enough the oldest and more troublesome later actually thanked me for the way I tried to keep him guided but not by smothering him as did some parents. There is no single way to raise a child but there are many wrong ways ... and one is to be too restrictive. The backlash of a too restrictive teenage years can literally ruin a life or cut it far too short.

Just an observation from the "been there done that" years.

 

all children are different and just because a parent is restrictive does not mean their child will rebel.

 

I did not mean me, personally. I mean the community as a whole. I bet if we talked to church leaders, other parents, other establishments, etc - we could come up with some alternatives. My personal part is to always know where my child is, who he is hanging out with, what kind of people his friends' parents are, open my home to him and his friends, and only allow him to hang out at other kids' houses where I trust the parents.

I will also play taxi to drop off/pick up from Cleo-Approved activities.

We also need to educate these ignorant parents who are dropping their kids off at this place.

 

Wayne, are you suggesting that I start buying my son deuces now so that he can hold his liquor once he gets to college?

 

You're not going to hold him back from having a life???

Restricting him from a "club" that encourages dry humping to music that glorifies drugs and denegrates women and serves virgin drinks in adult mixed drink glasses is holding him back from having a life?

You would not force yourself or your son to listen to 101.5???

You are ignorant. You are part of the problem, not part of the solution. It is parents like you who are too concerned with being "cool" and being their child's friend. You don't want to hurt his feelings, and want to make sure that he fits in. You are probably not too far removed from your own childhood, and still have some *issues*. I think you opinion will be different when you are the parent of a pre-teen, tween, or teen. Right now you are still thinking like one of these kids that attend this joint.

You're right. At 18, they can go pretty much wherever they want. But right now, my son is a minor and lives under my roof. And I hope when my daughters turn 18, they have more respect for themselves than bikini bull riding.

 

Cleo--not to be mean, but someone who does nothing but criticize someone parenting techniques is quite ignorant in my opinion. I'm not concerned with my son being "cool" so much as I am him rebelling and doing things far worse because I'm too strict. Delegating what they do, when they do it and how they do it gets you nowhere. You might as well prepare yourself now for a lonely old age b/c your kids will resent you b/c you will be the one who caused them to not truly know life. I'm not trying to be my sons friend. I am trying encourage talking and not LYING. Restrictions at that age mean you get nothing but lies in return. I'm also a strong believer in the thought that you have to GIVE respect in order to get it. I respect my child and plan on it no matter what his age. Maybe thats why you can't trust your kids enough to go out and have fun. And I will not encourage him to "dry hump", but at the same time, I will not expect him to go out to parties and such and do the "jitterbug" or whatever old fashioned dance you did. As for your assumptions about my age, I wouldn't go by those. Many people have been proved wrong about my age by assuming.
K

 

OK I am feeling so old someone please define bikini bull riding is this a new dance ?I know what dry humping to music is but am wondering about the bull riding?

 

Bikini bull riding is just that. Girls on Thursday nights at city limits in raleigh strip down to either a bikini or sometimes just the bikini top or a bra and ride the mechanical bull. Which according to some, is distasteful. However, my point of view is that if it's ok to walk around on at the beach in front of thousands of people, stripping down to it in front of a few hundred shouldn't be bad?!?! I've never done it, but it happens!
K

 

Don't you hate it when those threads come back to haunt you? I had you pegged, dear.


http://4042.appcomm.net/4042forums/showthread.php?p=170380#post170380

Again, you have no clue. Check back in ten years.

 

Age doesn't matter as much as maturity, which you obviously haven't mastered yet. How about you don't trash my parenting styles and in 15 years when my son feels comfy talking to me about things, and yours are lying to you about what they do, then we can talk!

K

 

WOW!!! That brings back memories....