Picture Day The first graders had all been photographed for their yearbooks, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Mary; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Johnny, he's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; ...she's dead."
I think when a dad or mom sends child support he/she needs to look at it as feeding / clothing/ sheltering his/her child not as a form of punishment for the mom/dad . That is a stupid way for someone to payback their ex through their kid!!! Another reason some people should not Breed IMO.
If the money were going to feeding/clothing/sheltering, I would agree. However, in many cases, the money sent to the kids is not used for that purpose and is, in fact, used to buy things for the kids' Mother, or her new boyfriend, or kids the Dad in question did not sire. As far as most "dead-beats" being Dads, it only stands to reason, since most courts award custody to the Mothers. This is changing, true, but it is not nearly equal. While I don't have any numbers in front of me, I would be willing to bet good northern money that the ratio of non-custodial parents who pay to those who don't would be fairly equal between Mothers and Fathers.
I am sorry but I think most of the time men put that in their heads about money going on moms new boyfriend to help them sleep at night. I know in some cases this is what happens. I had someone in my family who her ex refused to pay child support saying she had a new man who the money went for she did not have a man at all ( not that having a new boyfriend would have been his buisness) she worked 2 jobs and other members of our family had to help her out why he desided to get him a new lady friend and treat her kids to 4 wheelers. I think alot of Men are bitter and use it as a way to pay someone back for not wanting to be with them anymore.Thank god he has to pay childsupport now it was a bad thing for those kids to go through, he learned his lessons when they went to court.
Gotcha... A little slow on the uptake here, sorry 'bout that Clif. Hey, btw, you still living near the park? Frogger
Well said Cliff! I'm a single mom and I have never been that way with my daughter, sure I was upset when she went into Kindergarden, but I did much better for 1st grade hehe, I was pushing her lmao! Today I took her, but tomorrow she rides the bus. As far as the other stuff about Dead Beat dads, I don't have to say anything to my daughter about her father, he does that on his own. He pays nothing to help in the last yr, and when he did..it was put in a savings for her, not me. She ask me where he is and I tell her I don't know, cause I don't. As far as using the money for boyfriends, NOT here...not one date in three yrs, my choice. Sheri
Right or wrong, that's the logic. In many cases it's the truth. The Mother doesn't spend all the child support on only the kids (if my ex did, my boys would have had four-wheelers themselves). Yep. Probably will be for a few more years, thanks to the collapse of "sub-prime" loan market.
Well, that answers my question of whether you're a specific Sheri I know. In my opinion on dead-beat dads. I am not saying that they shouldn't pay what the court ordered (or they agreed to). Nor am I saying that every ex-wife (or ex-husband) uses child support monies for things other than child supporting. Just that it happens a lot, and that's the logic as to why.
Tell me how is that you could "Love" someone such as your own child, and not provide for them regularly. There is no way a dead beat parent of any kind knows the true meaning of love for a child. Its day in ...and day out love. Any problems with the ex vanishes, all that matters is being around for your child when they need you....thats love.
Dude! We have to get catch up. The park has become my friend. I get to watch all the ball games now... Frogger
Hey stop talking about me and how'd you know i cried today when my baby got on the bus for middle school...
To tell the truth, and a bit embarrassed to admit it, I think I've been out to the park all of twice this year.
I didn't think there was ever any doubt about whether or not they would survive, I thought it was more or less about Mother's realizing they had to let go.
I think I must have lucked out on the daddy of my kids (or maybe I just chose well). My son & his Dad are very close. My husband is my son's biggest hero - and my husband LOVES that. I can spend all day with our new baby girl, feed her, change her, play with her, talk to her, sing to her ... and she still seems to really light up when her dad comes in the room. At 3 months, she's already learned to wrap daddy around her little finger. As far as kindergarten goes ... I was sure I'd be tough when I dropped my son off for his 1st day 3 years ago. After all, my son had gone to preschool ... so I was sure I'd be fine. I passed lots of crying Mom's as I walked into the building that morning holding my son's hand. I laughed to myself at what babies the Mom's were being and how mature the new kindergartners were trying to act as they rushed into their 1st day of class. My son looked so excited when I left him with his very capable, wonderful teacher. I left knowing he was going to be safe, make lots of new friends, learn a ton, and have a great time. All seemed to be going well until I made it about half way out of the building. I don't know what happened ... I was fighting back tears. I had to walk quickly out to my car so everyone wouldn't see me blubbering like a BIG BABY. It wasn't that I was scared to let him go, it was just that the time had flown by so quickly. I realized that from that time on ... my son would be less & less dependant on me. Gradually what his friends and others though could possibly become more important than what I thought. His world was expanding and I was becoming a smaller part of it. It was great to see what a wonderful little, independent person he was becoming ... but at the same time it was bittersweet because he was learning to leave me.
Well...I watch the games from this side of the tree line, lol. I can watch them from my patio if I really wanted. Frogger
