A place for random thoughts....

I wonder the best way to handle it, I have seen it happen, (not just hispanics, by the way, but they just are NOT subtle about it) I just ignore it and go on about my businesss. Happens a lot at the convenience store I get my coffee at of the morning. I think acting like you don't notice is the best way to go, I don't want to encourage any sort of interaction under those circumstances, and that goes for any man, not just a hispanic one.

 

I have always ignored it in the past and I still do unless I'm in the middle of a store with other people around and they are glaring at my daughters too. That just makes my "Mommy" mode kick in and I feel even more "violated" by the stares.

 

Men are pigs....they all do it (some I dont mind ). Some are just more obvious about it and make you feel so uncomfortable. Lots of hispanic men work for my company and are flocking around when I walk out to my truck in the afternoon. Very uneasy feeling to say the least!

 

Ok, I've been reading for the past few posts. Time to add my 2p...

I can't believe y'all are so upset over being stared at. If y'all are attractive to someone, they will stare. It's as simple as that.

While I'm not an anthropologist, I would be willing to bet good northern money that it's something that's hard-wired in our genes. It makes sense that, when one is looking for a mate, staring lets the potential mate know that he's interested. Staring does not lead to anything sinister any more than a smile does. He stares hoping for a favourable response. If he doesn't get it, he'll move on to the next candidate.

As to whether the one staring is white, black, brown, or heliotrope, it will happen. Get over it.

 

What took you so long?

 

Clif, now that we are friends, I can tell ya, it makes one very uncomfortable to be stared at by a bunch of men, especially if you are by yourself. It's kinda hard-wired into us too, self-preservation and all that. 8) There certainly is probably no evil intent on their part, but nowadays, it's best not to take chances. Even an innocent smile can give some guys the wrong idea.

 

I was thinking the same thing! Cliff thats not the point fine stare at me if you think i am soo freaking hot go ahead! its the fact that they make you feel VERY UNCOMFORTABLE! its hard to explain unless you are a woman

 

So we finally got to watch "Wild Hogs" last night. Yes, it was stupid, but hilarious! :lol:

 

Stupid people hurt my head!!! Why are there so many of them?!?!?!?!!?

 

Yeah! I was wondering where you were too Clif
(Oh!...and GarnerGirl...thats Clif with ONE freaking F...OKAY!!!):lol: :lol: :lol:

Okay, Clif, I agree with you that there is a part of a woman that appreciates a little attention. However, the kind of staring and smirking and whispering we are talking about is not appropriate. It makes a woman feel violated and it makes us angry. Like KDC said, it's kind-a hard wired in us women to be on the alert for potentially dangerous situations. Yes, men are created with the tendency to be stimulated more by the physical senses rather than emotional things. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with looking at women either...as long as it is done respectfully.

Now gawking at a "potential candidate" in a way which makes her uncomfortable while your wife and kids are right there with you is NOT okay. (YES - they DO it no matter if their wife and kids are there or not). Plus, they gawk at me when my HUSBAND is right there too. I AM NOT a potential mate for them. It is disrespectful.

That being said, the other aspect of this is that NEITHER of my two YOUNG daughters are POTENTIAL mates for them either. It is MORE than disrespectful to stare at young girls in such a manner. When they do this, it brings out my hard wired "this Mommy will kick your tail if you even THINK of touching my daughter" instinct. I can't tell you how unnerving it is to have a group of men follow you and your daughters around a store so they can stare at you AND your daughters. THAT is NOT okay.:evil:
(angry face is for them, not you Clif )

 

See, now I don't understand why y'all feel uncomfortable (we're talking about staring, not leering). It's not like it just started yesterday. I'm sure y'all have been stared at since you received your first trainer.

So, here's my take...
It's been going on for years.
Odds are, nothing has ever happened to you because of the staring.

Now, here's my question...
Why does a guy's stare make you feel uncomfortable?

 

Like I said, it's hard-wired in our genes. Back a few million years ago, as soon as a girl got her "monthly visit", she was "available" Is it appropriate in the 21st century? Probably not, but then, as you are well aware, instinct is not always controllable.

Just out of curiosity (and I understand if you don't want to answer), how old are your daughters that are being stared at?

 

LOL :lol: :lol: LOL

 

If yall are around here I recommend stopping and getting something to eat here ( or to go )!!!! It was yummy!


Bar-B-Que Chicken Dinner at

Mount Zion United Methodist Church on Friday, September 7th

Mount Zion United Methodist Church invites you to their annual Bar-B-Que Chicken Fundraiser on Friday, September 7th from 11 am to 8 pm . Eat-in or take-out plates are available, and large take-out orders can be called-in to 772-8415 and will be ready to pick-up when you arrive. Plates include ½ chicken, boiled potatoes, green beans, roll, dessert, and a drink. Enjoy the food and fellowship for just $6 for adults, $4 for children 4-12, and free for kids 3 and under.

Mount Zion is located at 15772 NC 50 N, ¼ mile south of the intersection of Hwy 50 and Hwy 42

 

Okay, maybe we have been using the wrong word. I would say it is more like leering. It's not so much that they look that bugs us, it's more the WAY they look.

If I go out shopping and a man nods his head at me and smiles, no problem. If there is a group of men and they all are "leering" at me, that makes me uncomfortable.

Think about how you react when you see a lady that catches your eye. Do you casually glance at her a few times? When her eyes meet yours, do you smile and look away or do you keep looking at her? Do you leer at her? Do you follow her around with your buddies so all of you can leer at her together? I'm guessing not. AND, I don't think you are the type man to leer in a sexual nature at pre-teen girls either.

That's the kind of thing that bothers me about it.

 

It was yummy!!!

 

Yes! thats it! and i know that its hard for guys to understand why it bothers us like it does.

 

you seem to be speaking in more general terms now, but i would call what i see hispanics do "leering". it's staring with a bit more. there's a difference between that sort of suddenly seeing a beautiful woman and being kinda stuck looking at her for a few seconds, and standing, watching, glaring, leering for minutes at the time.

this characteristic came up in my life over 10 years ago. "it's their culture" was what i heard then. "it's not that big of a deal where they come from. they all do it." funny, i still hear that excuse for other inappropriate behaviors, and for some which, frankly, shouldn't be tolerated. like having your girlfriends, fiancees, wives, mothers, and underage daughters looked at in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable.

 

ok I will be honest.....depends on who is doing the staring.....a group of guys standing outside when I am getting in my truck leering and talking in a language that I do not understand makes me uncomfortable YES!!! 1 guy alone that just smiles and does not "leer" but notices you does not bother me. I also have guy friends who do stare and make comments that dont bother me at all. Situational for sure.....if I had daughters and grown icky men were staring at them I would be ****ed too!!!

 

That's one of the reasons I wear sunglasses.

I've seen some pre-teen girls that looked like college coeds.