Okay,first off I'm boiling and trying not to. My daughter goes to a local middle school here in the 40/42 area. She is in a self-contained setting. She is an awesome student, tries hard ALL the time, no behavioral problems whatsoever and nothing but compliments her entire school career. Well passing expectations set by administrators years ago(& that's another story!). Well, Thursday she did her homework. Showed us that it was ripped b/c something (water I think) spilled on it. You know how paper gets when it's wet. She was totally distraught, really upset. I said no big deal as accidents happen. Just tell your teacher exactly what happened. BTW, she's NEVER ever NOT done her homework. Like I said, exlemplaray(i know that's spelled wrong) student to a tee. I mean, my husband and I both saw the paper and it's obvious what happened. Not intentional or anything. Yesterday when it was all handed in, teacher did something I still can't believe. Remember, this is a self-contained setting w/ a trained teacher. She held it up, embarrassed my daughter until everyone was laughing at her except for her best friend. Made fun of her drawing. Okay, this I was irrate at as I myself am the worst artist on the entire planet. When I was younger my art teacher thought my squirrel(I was so proud too) was a bat--LOL. So I knew what my daughter was going through. Don't make fun of someone if they are not so great at something. I saw no need to embarass her in front of the entire class. Get this, now the teacher wants US to sign something saying where she will do her homework so don't accidents happen again. HELLLOOO, she will be doing it in the SAME place where the accident happened to begin with!!! The homework room. Yes, we have a room dedicated just to do school work in. BEt the teacher doesn't know that one. I called the teacher up, she kept proceeding to tell me to calm down. What?! Didn't get that one. Proceeded to tell me you can't turn in work like that. I said what in the world did you expect her to do? It was a printed off worksheet. Not like we had a spare copy at home. I kept asking the teacher, what do you suggest she should have done? She NEVER answered that question. I don't believe a special ed teacher should behave this way. Am I wrong? Am I over-reacting? How would you all have handled this? We are refusing to sign the paper. It is not necessary. BTW, the homework my daughter worked so hard on got a zero b/c of all this. I found out from another parent as well that I need to be careful what we tell the teacher as she'll take it out on the kids later. Happened to her daughter too. So, this teacher is doing "damage" to more than one child. I will insist on a meeting but honestly don't think I could keep my cool. This is one of SEVERAL documented events that has taken place at that middle school. I am open to suggestions on how to best handle this situation and this teacher w/out it being taken out on my daughter. Thanks in advance. Stephanie--mom to 7
:shock: You're a better woman than I am. Sorry, I have no advice but I bet many here will help you out. A teacher did that to me in 6th grade. I hated her and going to school ever since. It can be a nasty snowball effect. :evil:
I'd have a meeting with the teacher AND the principle. I'd have all my documentation with me. Also, make sure it isn't just you there. Have your husband or a trusted friend along. Document the conversation and let them know the information will be going to the Super's office as well. They should sit up and pay attention then. MAke sure they are following her guidelines as laid out before the year started. Good luck!
Ditto all that. Every point is important - having both the teacher and the principal; having your husband or a trusted friend; documenting everything. You have every right to be steaming over the treatment the teacher gave your daughter, but you need to have your emotions under control when you go into the meeting. They should be able to look at your daughter's record and see that she is a serious student, and a hard-working and well-behaved student. Accidents happen, for heaven's sake, has that teacher never spilled anything in her life? I cannot begin to understand why she would hold your daughter up to ridicule the way she did. Good luck!
I think teachers sometimes forget how much effect they actually have on a child. I think I would take the chance to point that out.
We had a problem at school with our child not to long ago and we as the parents, did not hesitate to address it the very next day with the principal. If you and your husband are interested in your child's well-being (obviously you are) BOTH OF YOU go and sit down with the principal present and address it as nurturing parents. I would discuss it first without the teacher present. Personally, I wouldn't start going over the principal's head too quickly. The principal is the teacher's immediate supervisor and the figurehead of the school. It should be handled at the school first. State your case, make your point and stay calm and focused. I was always an intimidated type in school but I sat down directly in front of my child's principal and laid out everything I had to say without any worries at all. You and your husband are your child's advocate. I wouldn't sign anything under the circumstances. Your child sounds exemplery and should not be singled out. If there is a policy change in the school or classroom...ALL PARENTS SHOULD HAVE TO SIGN or none should have to sign.
All of the above advice was great - husband, friend and you sit down with the teacher and principal, and mentioning that you intend documentation to the super's office would all be the path to follow. As far as signing that paper, you are 100% right in not signing it. The one who should be signing a paper is the teacher - one stating that she in the future, she will refrain from poking fun at any student and if she has a problem with your daughter's homework, rather than address it to her (I don't think you stated her age) the teacher should contact you, her parent to discuss it. I think asking for the teacher to apologize to your daughter in front of the class is also in order. Maybe she can do it as part of their 'character curriculum' Respect is a character trait that students are taught, and this teached did not respect your daughters feelings, nor did she respect her position as a teacher - the one who is supposed to be a role model for her class. JMHO
in that last sentence, please substitute teacher for teached . . .lol, I type faster than I think and for some reason, the edit option will not work tonight.
I like that point. If she (the teacher) has a problem, she should address the parents with a note sent home or a follow-up phone call. With older children, a teacher should not embarrass the child. Rather, he or she should address the student individually first and then with the parents if necessary. I think that tends to be a problem and one thing I had a problem with at my child's school. If there is a problem, the teacher or principal should communicate with the parent. That is their obligation IMO!
Depending on the child's age, the teacher could address a homework problem directly with the child, but privately, after class, not by holding her up to ridicule in front of the entire class. Any teacher who does that should, herself, be publicly humiliated to see how it feels. Tawiii pointed out earlier, it seems many teachers do not realize the long term impact they have on students lives, for better or worse.
Thanks for all the replies and ideas. We are definitely going to do a sit down w/ all parties involved and all the documentation we have on the many, many other incidences that have happened in that school. It truly is sad as all we want is a good education for our daughter. So far, it doesn't look like we can get it at this middle school. The teacher she had last year there yelled at everyone so much, they finally moved her! The teacher that is. My daughter and tohers in the class were instructed NOT to tell parents anything that transpired in the classroom. Fortunately, my daughter can't hide anything and trusts us enough to tell. As parents, we shouldn't have to fight so hard for education for our children. Thanks again for all the help on and off the board. Take care, Stephanie--mom to 7
Kick butt, take names! Folks, As many of you know, my better 1/2 teaches here. I am on an advisory board this year, and often cheer for the jobs that teachers do. When teachers are wrong, as it plainly appears based on what's been reported here, I am the systems strongest critic. Any time I hear of a person in an authority role advising those under him or her to "not tell", the hair on my neck stands. This is the same thing told to children by abusers of all ranks. If, in fact, a teacher advises students to remain silent about how things are conducted, the teacher should be removed ASAP. And, the administration needs to insure that this type of behavior is clearly used as an example of how to NOT do things. IF the facts are as reported, I am appalled at the teacher's conduct, and her supervisors for allowing it to happen. I believe in the transparency of school meetings, class room conduct, everything. I maintain that it's not the questions that cause problems, it's the answers to the questions. Take copious notes at the meeting. Tape record it if you feel you have to. Provide a written letter of your understanding of the meeting, and send a copy to Dr. Parker. If everyone is on the same sheet of music, you then have a road map of sorts for future reference. Occasionally, someone is placed in a position where they should not have been placed. I don't ascribe to the notion that one bad apple spoils the whole bunch, UNLESS the bad apple is allowed to remain in the barrel. Good Luck.... H6
First of all let me say, I am so thankful for all the hard work our teachers put in! The work they do is heaven sent! But, what happened with your daughter, There are exceptions! My opinion is these teachers that we are speaking of, are responding off of bad experiences, and those alone. And this is wrong to do, if we all lived this way could you imagine how ugly this world would be? Teachers please remember that Our Childern are lent to you in trust! That we expect them to be treated with respect, and each as individiuals. Try to remember also that you may not see us everyday , but we are at our jobs as well. I believe there isn't anything any of us would have done differently! You acted out of love, My hats off to you for being the awesome mother that you are.
Abdulina - do you mind telling me if you daughter goes to Cleveland Middle? I know of a parent who is going through a very similar problem with a teacher there. I am definitely not knocking the school - I think all of the schools in our area and 99% of the teachers are fantastic! It's those handful of teachers that don't handle themselves appropriately that can really make life for many absolutely miserable. If you'd rather not tell me which school - that's fine. I was just curious.
