ok, At first I did think this was funny, now I'm not so sure. By no means am I a prude. Ok, last night my daughter who is 7 was talking to me, and she said that one of the kids in her class was writing and talking about a word and some of the kids thought it was bad, so I asked what it was. She said "sex" and I was like do you even know what that means? She said when a man and a women get together naked and play? I was like where in the world did you hear that? She was at school from one of the other girls (not saying name). My daughter said all the kids where around her when she was talking about it. This is the same girl that has been moved from table to table and has notes sent home all the time for her behavior. She is mean to the other kids. To the point where my daughter wrote a note to her teacher telling her that she did want her sitting at her table cause she is so mean. I didn't know about the note till the teacher told me. Now I'm happy that my daughter is willing to share what she does at school. But, I thought I had a few years before I needed to explain the whole sex thing. Now I don't know the whole situation, but should I call the teacher and let her know this is going on? Or just let this one go and see how it works out on it's own. The teacher is aware the other girl is a problem and she is doing what she can. But, I'm not sure if she knows "this" is going on. Tell me what you think. Sheri
I had the EXACT same thing happen, at the EXACT same age.....I did exactly what you did. I asked the boys what 'sex' meant, and they said something along the lines your daughter did. I told them that that word was probably not a good one to be using and could get them into trouble. I didn't make a big deal out of it and they are 11 now, and I haven't heard them bring it up since. I also told them at that age that sex means 'male' or 'female' and they were satisfied with that answer. I say you pick your battles, and this one can wait. If you don't make a big deal out of it, she won't either.
I would at least let the teacher know what is going on, others parents are bound to confront her about it sooner or later.
I agree, last year I had a boy in my daughters class who was saying sexual explicit things to her. I explained everything to my daughter and spoke to the teacher. The teacher got a handle on it.
Yeah that is what I was thinking, cause when she first said it I had to turn my head so she wouldn't see me laugh. I was like ohhh, well your right. Then she said that some of the other kids said it was a bad word, and I was like it's not, but I wouldn't say it at school cause you might get in trouble. I think if it was just random then I might be ok, but this is from the same girl that they have been having problems with from day one. That was the only thing that got me thinking on it. Sheri
I had to hold back laughter too....and trust me, it gets harder as the years go by....and the things they say....but I have always thought that if you don't make a big deal out of it, neither will she. If it get's 'explicit' like the others thought you said, then maybe you speak with the teacher. But sounds like the other 7 year old was just saying a word she heard and it was as simple as that.
I went ahead and called and she knew about it and it didn't come from that other girl, it started with a boy and he said he heard it on the bus lol, well it happends. She did say that the girl I mentioned was making it bigger, but she said that she has been working with the boy and the girl to nip it in the bud. She said I was the 5th parent to call, so I don't feel so bad now. I just don't want to be one of those parents that calls with ever little thing. I haven't been, but I thought this one needed a phone call. I told her I didn't want my daughter to know that I called and she said that was fine. I did think it was funny when she asked though. Sheri
Well I didn't make a big deal when I called the school, I just thought she might want to know, but she already knew.
My daughter is now in high school and this is how I handled all of this throughout her life. I am no expert but have been asked by several to write some books about this. You cannot shield children in today's world nor do I think we should have been brought up that way. My parents never, never, never spoke to me about sex or any portion of this. I have alot of friends who are doctors and nurses and the funny thing is that they have not spoken to any of their children about this. They have actually called me to ask if my daughter or I would explain it to their child...I always say no! I do explain to them that there kids need to understand that they can always talk to there parents about anything. 1. When my daughter was in elementary school I made it a tradition that she come home after school and tell me everything that happened that day. We would sit at the kitchen table and I would ask questions about how the bus ride was to school, how her teacher was, what she ate for lunch, how the bus ride was home, etc. I always made it known that if I heard something from someone else (regarding behavior or whatnot) and she had not already told me she would get in double trouble. So, starting at a young age she knew that she better let me know everything and she was to hand me anything from school immediately. 2. We had slang names for the private parts of our body. Tooty was the vagina and so forth. We even called a fart another word because I thought that at that age it was a little much. We would take short naps together on Saturdays and as the years went by, in elementary school, I would take that opportunity to start explaining the human body to her. By the time she was in fifth grade I made my mind up that I really needed to go a little farther before middle school. 3. In fifth grade on a ride home from swim practice (we always car pool) she asked the father driving the car what the word "@uck" meant. He stated to her that she should ask me when she got home. She arrived home and while cooking my telephone rang. Needless to say the man and his wife were on a speaker phone laughing and asking me if my daughter had asked me what that word was. I thought I was going to pass out. They told me that they told their daughter it was a nasty word and she dropped it. They wanted me to call after I talked to her. While eating dinner I asked my regular questions and then asked her about her question to my friend. She stated that some boy had used it in her class and she had never heard it before. I explained that it was certainly not used in the context of the word and that people use the word in various ways. I told her that since we had been discussing love making and sex she should understand that some people use that horrible word for sex, which should be a loving expression between two consenting adults. She asked some questions and I answered them to the best of my ability for someone that age. 4. The parents called back, I explained how I talked to my daughter and they really asked me to talk to their daughter. Once again, I said no. 5. The summer between elementary and middle school I went into detail about how a woman's private part is not called a Tooty it is a vagina and went on to explain various parts of the body for both men and women. I explained that not one person should touch those areas other than a doctor unless she spoke to me first. My reasoning was that if the nurse at school needed to touch her all she had to do was call me and I would say okay. 6. When she started middle school she started her period (she was very young) and so I decided that we needed to go into great detail in some areas because she now could get pregnant. Of course, when one starts there period the breasts start developing so the boys were looking. I talked to her about how one gets pregnant and if you want that speech PM me. She did have one boy (later in middle school) pull her blouse out in the front to take a look. She told me about it and I told her to slap him after she says no twice and let the teacher know. On another Thread I talked about that one. Even the parents apologized to us (now it is funny but then it was not). 7. In 7th grade we had the oral sex discussion. And, I made sure that she understood that oral sex was the same as having sex in our household. We discussed diseases and all other items. 8. I am trying not get too long winded but as a freshman in high school she and a close friend heard one girl call another one a @unt. My daughter came home and said the word to me and that she and her friend were going to look it up on the internet. I had to explain what that word was, how it was used out of context and that we don't use that word. I also explained that looking up a word to get the definition on the internet might lead a person to the wrong website and she should be very careful. Her friend spent the night with us that night and the next morning when her mother (mother is a nurse, father is a doctor) came to pick her daughter up I told her what happened. She and I went outside and laughed and then called the girls down. In front of the girls I told the mother (again) what had happened and between all of us we explained it to her daughter. The funny part of the one above is that my mother was in the den and when everyone was gone she looked at me and said "I have never heard of that word either and would not have known the definition". I believe we have a responsibility as parents to talk to our children and explain things. Sex is one area that needs to be discussed. It is vital. People are dying because they don't know that it can happen from sex to include oral. Anyhow...that's my nine cents. Grace
Were you that naughty boy in my neighborhood... if I wanted to join their little club, I had to "pet" the "hotdog".:? (I was only in 4th grade at the time!)
Kids are talking about sex at 7? ??? Shouldn't girls still be playing with barbies. :shock: Thank god I never had a kid. I'd be in a mental hospital
They are not talking about it like you think. They are using the words like sex when other kids don't know or haven't heard about those words. In middle school they are using the words and doing it. And yes, girls don't believe oral sex is sex. People need to talk to their children. Mental hospital...that would be the time your kid comes home and asks you about these words they hear or tells you about others having sex. My daughter had two girls pregnant in her classes in middle school, went to a sleep over right before high school where some of the girls were using hot dogs to show how to do oral sex and then we found out a good friend's son was having sex with another good friend's daughter. Cannot mistake those camera phones. Yep, others take pictures. I'm living in the mental hospital! Grace
Reel it back in Grace....we are not talking about oral sex or hotdogs or anything like that.....She is talking about a 7 year old that heard/used the word 'sex' in a sentence without knowing what it is. Go back and read the original post....goodness woman!! :-D
Yes, I understand. If you read my whole Post you will see where I started in elementary school. Education, education, education. Using the words and doing the actions are two different things but a parent needs to start the talks. Remember 11 year olds are getting pregnant. Grace
Grace, this is one thing I can totally agree with you on. I've had discussions about basic sexual stuff with my 5th grader, and more in depth discussions with my 8th grader. It's never too early to educate your children. After all, it is the parents responsibility!
Thank you and we are in the minority when it comes to discussing this with our children. My daughter also has another adult that she can call and/or talk to about this and/or drugs if she feels uncomfortable with me or in calling me in an awkward situation. Just so people understand...I have raised my daughter to understand that we don't just have female whores we also have male whores. It is funny to hear her friends and her talk about a boy being a male whore. When I grew up it was manly to have sex. In today's world I want my daughter to understand that it takes two and both are on the same level. Grace
I also agree. I have always been open and honest with my girls and we have had many discussions even at an early age. They talk and hear about it in school but what they hear isn't alway accurate and it is the parents responsibility to teach them. Parents can't run away from it or sugar coat it because they think their kids are too precious to know about these things. Its a fact of life and I feel the more open you are with your kids the better its going to be all around.
