The latest thing here is explaining that people who live in Japan are Japanese, not JaPansies. :mrgreen: yup yup
You know... now that I have a little girl, the world seems different. Let me explain. With a boy you only have to worry about one peter. With a girl you have to worry about all the peters.:lol: When the time comes I hope I have the courage to be as open and honest as you moms are. But one thing I would love to know is... and I don't know that anyone of ya'll could really answer this... The ones of you that have been open and honest with your girls vs the ones who wait until say High School, what is the comparison to which ones who have had sexual encounters (1st base, 2nd base... whatever) vs the ones who avoid and save themselves. And what I mean by I don't know if ya'll can answer this is... sure your kids tell you they haven't done this or that. Are they being 100% truthful.
I can say speaking from personal experience my parents (mainly mom) was very open and honest and talked about everything with me and I did wait til I was out of High School which is more than most could say, when I graduated at least 13 girls where pg or had already had there little ones and I graduated in 95 from CHS...
With me personal experience as well I was out of HS and almost 19 before I had my first sexual experience. My mom wasn't always the easiest person to talk to about this stuff, so my sister who is 13 years my senior has always been like my other mom, and she had the discussions with me. Right now, some of my daughters friends (through school) are in 8th grade and can spend the night with whomever and go wherever as long as they have a ride, etc. and they are the ones doing more than they should. My daughter tells me about things they say/do. That's why she isn't allowed to spend the night, but with two friends because I'm close their parents and know they have the same morals/goals as I do. Now all her friends are allowed to spend the night with us, but she can't with them. If they are in my home, I can have some control who is around them and what they are doing and hopefully have a positive influence on them in some way.
Well, I know that my daughter has held hands and kissed. She is almost 16 and I don't believe she has had sex. She stopped going to parties last summer and I asked her why. She told me that druggies and sex were a part of the party. Sure enough we had one wind up in the hospital. I called several of her friends parents over the summer and none of their girls were going to parties other than at our house either. We decided that our girls were making the right choice. She is called "A Goody Good Girl" even by boys and girls she has grown up with and at first it hurt her feelings but she talked to some college girls and they told her it was a compliment. She does have a very close friend who wants to have sex with her boyfriend and has talked to my daughter about it. My daughter talked to me and I told her to keep telling her friend that she can never go back after doing that. I just keep my fingers crossed and when she leaves for a date under my breath I say "don't have sex, don't have sex". My generation thought it was okay to do all the things we did but we have found out it was not. I try to tell her about it but she tells me that there are things a kid does not want to know about their parent (I can understand). I don't have scientific data for you but I really think being open is the best way because they feel like they can communicate with you on issues. A good friend's husband came over one night and when he was talking from a man's view to my daughter he said "Every 15 seconds we think about sex." that one really got through to her and when we go out sometimes at a mall or somewhere we giggle about it when we see a man or boy. Sure she's going to have sex but I hope she waits until she understands all of the reasons she is having it, hopefully for love. Grace
Well all I remember have a talk about with my mom was about the monthly. And funny enough everything I learned about the birds and the bees was taught in Sunday School and Church group meetings. Not from other kids but from adults talking about absence until marriage, etc. It kept me out of trouble, but it didn't work for at least 2 girls at Church. Guess they wait too long to have the meeting. :?
And, yes you are correct about bringing up a boy versus a girl. In my previous Post I talked about a girl and boy having sex and it being captured on a camera phone. Well, that boy's mom is a good friend of mine and I talked to her about it. She stated that she knew he was going to have sex so she bought him some condoms. I told her that I was glad she bought him condoms but did she talk to him about not having sex. Her answer was "No.". She has a daughter in elementary school and I then asked her what she is going to do in regards to her having sex. The look on her face was Priceless. We are still friends but I hope she stopped to think about her decision in not letting her son understand that he should not have sex. Grace
My Daughter Not on the same subject, but still funny, It's great that our kids are ok with talking to us.... Me and my daughter are very close.. She is 18 now and is still daddys little girl... She will come to me with anything and I MEAN ANYTHING before her mother... Well, one day I was on my way to the farm with her to work the horses. I think she was around 10 y/o... About half way there she looks at me and asks, "Daddy, whats a period?" I just about wrecked my truck!!! I told her to ask her mother. She wanted no part of that... She wanted dad's answer... So I asked her why she wanted to know and she said: "because at school one of the teachers told them not to go into one stall in the bathroom." Well one girl did and said "someone started their period"... So whats a period??? SO I tip-toed around it and covered it the best I could...
first of all i would like to say that i do not condone kids having sex. and no mom wants to hear that their teen is sexually active. i also do not want to become a grandmother before i'm 40. that being said, my girls are now 18 and 19 and both in college so i can share with you. i've always been open and honest with them and answered any questions they had. i also made it know that i didn't approve of them having sex. my oldest did wait til after high school. my youngest had one boyfriend from 7th grade to 11th. that started making me very nervous and when i asked her she said yes. she was in the 11th grade and as you can imagine it made me sick to my stomach. i wasted no time in getting her to the dr. and put her on the pill. they were not haing sex at 10 and 12 and in my opinion they did start too early. but i think that open and honest relationship gave them the courage to say "yes mom" and we've handled it from there.
I am glad I do not have daughters. I only have to worry about 3 little roots. Y'all have to worry about em all.
You deserve a pat on the back. You also raised two wonderfully honest girls. When you put her on the pill did you also tell her that he should use a condom? I am asking because one never knows what will happen in the future. Grace
That is the wrong attitude. You may have three boys but don't you think they deserve the same responsibility we put on the girls? I think maybe more. You, right now, have the chance to teach these young minds that it is an equal decision and the responsibility lies with both individuals. Grace
I've only known of one person who actually got pregnant while taking the pill properly and she was a doctor. She kept telling her OBGYN it wasn't working..............it wasn't!
Yep, I hear I got prego while taking the pill, but usually it's while not taking it properly. Like skipping pills and trying to catch up or taking antibiotics, etc.
Oh most definitely about the condom. I've even talked to their boyfriends about. Now they think i'm a little nuts, but who cares? I'm the mom!!!
