ok Can someone please settle a dispute. I can't seem to find this anywhere.... The bride and groom were making out the invitations and they sent one to the brides mom and step dad. The brides parents are not paying for the wedding...actually the couple and the grooms family are paying for the bulk of it. The mom got her shorts in a knot and sad that was in extremely poor taste and went on and on. No one would know she got one and the bride thought she was being cute. I didn't see a darn thing wrong with it. I just went along with whatever the bride wanted. Was this a giant faux pas?
PC, The bride's invitation was a thoughtful thing to do. Her mother's "hissy fit" was childish. When I counsel couples who have asked me to marry them, we do discuss, at length, the need to ensure that everyone is keyed into the idea that it is all about the couple getting married. That it's "Their Day" to do it "Their Way." I do tell them that their parents / older family members may have a different expectation of the ceremony, based on the parents/older family members experience and wedding histories. I counsel them to include the extended family on the plans, at least in a general framework, so there are no surprises. In my mind, the "adults" overreacted...and did it poorly. I have real concerns as to an emotionally healthy relationship between the newlyweds and the parents, when the parents appear to be having a temper tantrum. Wish them luck... 6
I would not have mailed the invitation. Seems cold. It would have been best for the bride and groom to personally hand deliver it. All mothers want a copy of the invitation for scrapbooks, memories, etc, plus in the event someone asks a question about the invitation.
GC, based on what I read, the tone suggested that the level of communications between bride and mother is not the best it could be. Sadly, I know how that feels. I had hoped that given our histories, that my in laws and I could reach some rapport, especially after a long discussion about the changes that have occurred over the 27 year span. I approached the discussion as an honest broker, willing to own up to my parts, and expecting everyone else to do the same. It seemed, to me at the time, that we were able to work through things. I was gravely mistaken. More likely, I was hosed. With plenty of advance notice, we began to plan our wedding, conducting it our way, and paying for it all. All they had to do was attend. Not only did we talk to, telephone to remind, and hand deliver a wedding invitation, my in laws chose to be elsewhere when we married, yet didn't even bother the courtesy of letting us know they would not attend. Yes, I was peed off, and hurt, and embarrassed. And felt even worse for my wife. It's one of those things we haven't discussed with them in the intervening period. It's not a battle that we would win, and rather than concentrate on that, we continue to live our lives as fully as we can.
Personally i would be offended if i did not receive an invitation cause i am sentimental that way, i want to keep a copy to treasure a beautiful memory.
i thought it was a bit over-reactive too... way back before the wheel ...when I was married i received the invitation as a gift in a beautil frame with flowers and stuff.... Anyone do this anymore?
Mom needs to get her panties out of a wad.... And I fully support Ken's #2 advice.....ELOPE! Spend the money on something useful afterwards!!!
I wouldn't have sent an invitation to one of our parents BUT she MAJORLY overreacted. She seems to be forgetting that this is NOT her day!
I lived with my parents for 3 months before we got married, saving $ and making wedding plans. I MAILED them an invitation cuz I thought it was cool to do. I don't understand why that would offend anyone. :?
Sounds like someone was looking for something to get offended about. I wish the bride luck dealing with her as a mother-in-law.
I received a similar gift for my first wedding (1997). I didn't have a wedding the second time around--just the 2 of us at the courthouse followed by a family dinner. My dh's friends and family want him to have a wedding--I'll go along with it as long as they pay for it. I have no interest in having a wedding, probably because I've already been there, done that, got the t-shirt. My daughter said that she doesn't quite consider us to be married because, "she didn't get to be a flower girl."
Shoot, I mailed the invitations for my neighbors next door and across the street. It's more polite to mail it instead of dropping it off. The mom was probably just one of those that could be offended about anything.
no that was the bride mother who was annoyed...It's the poor groom who is going to need the luck. .He is wonderful to them and they always seem to get annoyed over something. All it did was stress out the bride more to. I am taking note for when kiddo gets married - just let her do it her way as long as no one gets hurt..lol
Hey you know what Pep? When she ponies up some cash for the wedding, then she has the right to get annoyed.
