Ok, Question for Mom's of pre-teen's....

Well, I guess I am in the minority again. My daughter is sixteen and has had "boyfriends" since around twelve. First one lasted a week and they went to two movies with adult supervision. Next one was the summer before heading to high school and it lasted until Feb. (I remember that because of her birthday and Valentine's Day). They went to the pool together, church, movies with supervision and some in groups and visited at each other's house. Last one she was when she was a sophomore in high school and it lasted from Sept through Feb (again before her birthday and Valentine's Day...stupid boys). They went to movies in groups, visited at each other's home's and went to two parties together. She refused to go to anymore parties due to what happened at them.

This year she had one she liked for two days and then found out what he really wanted. I do think that "going together" before actually dating is strange. I ask boys and girls about that and they look at me like I have lost my mind. I tell them that we actually got to date a few boys at a time, find out something about them and then got asked to "go steady". I have a good time asking them if they know the other one's favorite color and then they get it.

At some point we have to trust that our parenting skills have sunk in.

Just one mom's opinion.

Sherry

 

I agree with the 7th grade teacher totally. Has anyone seen how the middle schoolers behave at school dances or parties? They dance in ways that would make the majority of us blush and lock our kids up for the remainder of the teen years. They can get into way too much these and parental supervision is not always there- even if you are supervising your teen, it is likely that many others are not supervising their own. Suggestive text messages and pictures, stuff they can easily see on the internet. 16 is very reasonable in my opinion- a few extra years of reinforcing values and morals can not hurt for sure.

 

Intercepted note...

Yesterday afternoon, I intercepted a 12 yo's note from another student. In it, she revealed that her "boyfriend" had been shoving things down the front of her shirt. He then had discussed his "size" (a 6-something...almost a 7!). Seriously, think back to when you were 12; did this type of thing even cross your mind? How many BOYS discussed their "size" with you at that age, ladies?

 

:shock: OMG!!! Hope they were embarrassed by the situation!!

 

I hope their parents were informed. I would want to be privy to this if it were my child.

 

Uh, yeah. I just talked to her about what I would do to the boy who talked about that stuff with one of my daughters at her age; explained that I was not confronting her to be hurtful, but that it matters to me that she respects herself enough not to appreciate and/or tolerate these topics of discussion.

Needless to say, she was in tears. Nothing to be proud of, making a young girl cry, but you have to try to get through to her. I was either successful, or she is a good actress...which is often the case. :banghead:

 

But do you inform their parents?

 

:shock::shock::shock:

My son would be grounded for life. :evil:

 

Hi Cleo...

Heck yes!

I am turning the issue over to the guidance counselor, since this is her area of expertise...on the grounds that the parents of all parties (author, recipient, and the perv...er, boy) are contacted.

I would be furious if my daughter were involved in this situation and an adult did not tell me about it.

 

I hope you are at the middle school we are going to next year!

People!! I was still playing barbies at 12 and 13, did not give a crap about stuff like that! Kids are growing up way too fast! Makes me sad!

 

Just making sure! Be sure to include some brochures for all girl boarding schools or military academies, those would be helpful at my house if it were my daughter. lol

 

ok I know I am younger than most here, but not by much. When I was 14 I was a freshman in HS and I dated then, no group, no parents etc.. my parents knew the boy and they knew his parents. We worked together at a local grocery store and became good friends and eventually dated. It never went much further than that but my and his parents trusted us and knew we would act like we should, so I truely think it depends on the kids involved.

Now to the teacher, let me tell ya most teachers dont have a clue. Kids that I went to school with had sex, compared sizes boyfriends/girlfriends and teachers then seemed clueless or didn't care. And before anyone asked I went to Clayton Middle, been thru all the Clayton schools. I can remember hearing about girls having sex with the boyfriends in the same room etc.. I guess I'm just saying unless you are talking with your kids and know whats going on, don't be surprised! And no I was not having sex in Middle school, not my thing!

 

My first heartbreak was because my boyfriend slept with 2 of my supposed "friends." I was 12. He couldn't get it from me, so he went elsewhere... the little manwhore!

 

No way?????????? 12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

You see Koo? It took TWO to make up for you!! Poor guy. lol

 

When my daughter was younger a boy kept pulling at her blouse in the front so he could get a peek. She told him to stop twice to no avail. She notified the teacher but she did not react quickly.

When my daughter told me about this I told that since she had given him two chances it was alright for her to hit him the next time (yes, this pacifist did that). Sure enough the next day he did it again and she slapped the sheeet out of him. Both were taken to the office and were told to tell there parents and have the parents write a note back to the school.

I explained in mine what had happened and that I backed her on the slapping. The boy's parents went to the school the next day and apologized to my daughter and made their son do it also. It has never happened to her again.

Sherry