New relationships and old friends

I have a very good friend (or so I thought she was) who is in a new relationship. She is so far up his *** she will never see the light of day! She does not follow through with plans we make, does not call, email anymore....nothing. I finally told her this morning......'you know what, you call me when you have time for me!' and walked away!

This irritates me very much!!!! AM I wrong????

 

Nope. Does she always fall head over heels like that and ditch her friends? Not healthy IMO. She'll be back when he dumps her.

 

she is not typically this way.....i dont know what to think! she has just forgotten all about her friends. i think very unhealthy as well!! yea.....who will pick her up when they part ways???? i would like to say it will not be me....but i will.

 

You are a good friend!

 

Thank you very much! I try and wish others would do the same.

 

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Actually, it was through a divorce, then a new relationship, and now she's on to the second man. It didn't take me too long to figure out that our "friendship" was based on ME doing all the favors and watching kids, etc. Now she's calling me wanting to pick up where we left off, but I don't have the time or inclination any more. Funny how that works. 8) I wish you luck!!

 

Been there done that too. I met this girl and we instantly hit it off. Our birthdays are even on the same day she is just a year younger than me. We became darn near inseperable then she met a guy and we stopped hanging out or talking as much as we used to. Now I was expected to go and hang out with her and talk to her when she called all the time even though she was single and I was married with two kids. We haven't spoken in about a year and a half now. From what I understand from others that she was "friends" with they don't speak to her anymore either. She has completely shut herself off from all of her friends. Not sure if I would be as nice as you are though. If she called or emailed me I don't know if I would answer/respond.

 

Yes you are. You are in a relationship. Now it's her turn. Use your head, not your heart. This is not an emotional issue.

 

you just want to argue today dont you?

 

Today? :mrgreen:

 

Being in a new relationship does not give you a free pass to be RUDE to people in your life. You don't blow off old friends because you got a "better offer". The one I was speaking of was either continually late, didn't show up, flat out LIED, etc. If you don't want to do something, don't say you will, then bail. I'm hardly a demanding friend, I'd rather chew off my own arm than ask for a favor. But don't ask me to watch your kids for two weeks for FREE, and then blow me off after I do it.

 

OH.....the things we have planned to do include the new fella!! I am more than happy to have him over as well. They just decided to do something else and did not bother to return my call or let me know that!!!! THIS is rude!!!

 

Yes it is. Did she do this sort of thing before, or is it a recent development?

 

no she was never like this. she was always there when she said she would be.....always!

she just went through a very difficult time and i was there through it all. long talks, tears, everything. then a few weeks ago i needed her and she was not there for me.....

 

She must have a twin sister. :?

All you can do is be the best friend you know how to be, and hope that eventually she will wise up. I'm still kind of friends with the one I was speaking of, I just don't expect much from her, that way, I am not disappointed. If she shows up, great, if not............. oh well. It's still painful though, when you are first going through it.

In the years since though, I have made some wonderful new friends that truly know what that means. One in particualr has been a huge blessing in my life. Heck, she even signed up kiddo for soccer for me, when I forgot to do it before I went out of town. What a sweetie!! :hurray:

 

So when you started dating your hubby you still made time for your friends? I say BS

 

No really. When new relationships develop. The couple ALWAYS wants to spend every available opportunity together. Just be considerate. Maybe she's happy. Jealousy will get you know where on this issue. Just sit back and relax. Not arguing. Just using my head and not my emotions.

 

Well, no, because I didn't HAVE any at that time, LOL. :lol: I'd just moved to that area. But if I had.............. if I had lunch plans, etc. with someone. I wouldn't have just bailed without so much as a phone call. That's rude, no matter what the reason unless you are laying in a hospital bed unconcious.

 

thats true, but then don't make plans with someone and then not call to cancel! I spent time with my friends and did alot of things as couples but if I wasn't going to do something I would atleast call and cancel!

 

You are not getting what she is saying. It's not a matter of her being "jealous" over the new relationship. She's upset with her rude behavoir. You don't make plans and then blow them off. :boxing: Just don't make the plans to start with, problem solved, at least it works for me.