Rich's Redneck ID Test

Well, after readin' so many threads I've noticed that a buncha folks on here are transplants from other "more-northernly" areas.

Well to those who may be concerned that the southern-fried lifestyle has changed them; I've created a Redneck ID Test to help you decide if you're past the point of no return.

Test yourself and Enjoy...

1. Have any of your previous professions involved livestock, hauling, or manure? Y/N


2. Has the backseat of any vehicle ever doubled as lawn/porch furniture? Y/N


3. Imagine your dream home, inside and out. Visualize the color, the décor, the location. Now give the total number of dogs asleep on the front porch.


4. The trash man comes once a week. Do you…

a. Have the trash bin waiting curbside.

b. Frantically rush the bin to the curb, just in time.

c. Kindly wait for him to arrive so you can take a peek at this week’s treasures.

d. Other


5. An ideal night on the town consists of…

a. Dinner and a Movie

b. Quiet evening at home with friends and/or loved ones

c. Snipe hunting

d. Picking steak out of your teeth while watching WWE.


6. Favorite Hand-me-down items…

a. Shirts (short sleeve, long sleeve, and/or cutoff sleeves)

b. Huntin dogs

c. Pants (short pants, long pants, and/or cutoff pants)

d. Toothbrushes

e. All of the above

f. Other


7. Select the item that is not considered a “sport” to you…

a. Roller Derby

b. Watermelon seed/tobacco spitting

c. Horseshoes

d. Professional Wresslin

e. None of the Above


8. If you were to break wind in public, would you…

a. Blame it on the dog

b. Blame it on your kid

c. Blame it on your spouse

d. Blame it on the Tex-Mex Grande Burrito


9. Largest monthly expense…

a. House Payment/Rent

b. Car Payment

c. Taxidermist

d. Pay-Per-View


10. Describe (in 25 words or less) your mama’s or granny’s cooking using the words ill, fixin, aint, and ya’ll

 

I was fixin to tell ya'll bout my mama's and granny's cooking, but I ain't come up with the right words and it just makes me so ill!

 

I'm assuming ill means it will....? Other than the usual it'a...

 

These remind me of some of Foxworthy's greatest stuff. If you've ever gone to kiss your Granny goodbye and she slips you the tongue you might be a redneck. Staying with the granny theme, If you're granny is ever in the bathroom and yells "y'all come in here and see this before I flush it!", you might be a redneck.

 

Cleo- you nailed it, right words and right context. I don't know where you are from but you've sure staked your claim down here!

 

Naw, round here ill means that yer spittin-mad about something. Like somebody pee'd near yer hunting camp and the scent spooked all the deer. Now that makes me ill!

 

I'm a rebel!

 

Yep, sure does! I say it all the time and people just look at me like I've lost my mind. I've always said it and yesun I'm from round here!:lol:

 

Your mama rasied you right!

 

This is too funny!! I have lived here for 15 years and my family up north says that I sound southern, but people that are from here always ask me where I am from because I don't sound southern. I guess I am somewhere inbetween. I don't think we are going anywhere for awhile so maybe in a few years I will stop getting asked where I am from.

 

I'm betting over half the posters on this board have no idea what you are talking about. But after this post I bet Google gets a workout. LMAO

 

..he, he, he.... I know what that is 8) Being brought up on a farm in one of those more northernly areas my brothers have taken some boys I went out on dates with Snipe hunting :lol:

 

Did they ever get out of the woods? Or did your brothers have to go get them?

 

they took them in, ran out and laughed their butts off!! The "dates" eventually figured it out and made their way out toward the laughter.:lol:

 

Snipe huntin...oh man does that bring back memories! I was about 8 the first time all those darn boys I grew up with made me go...I don't think I figured out there weren't any until around age 12. :lol:

 

I got one. Do you consider going to Golden Corral as going somewhere "nice" to eat?

 

So do I...

Did your Daddy ever slaughter your pet pig? Oh mine did Saddie Hawkins got too big and Daddy made sausage out of her! I wouldn't eat pork for a year, because I was afraid I was eating her. We had about 100 hogs and she was the runt of a litter and they didn't expect her to live, so like all things on the farm like that they were given to me to take care of. I brought her to the house and raised her with our dogs. She didn't know she was a pig, she thought she was a dog and would bark like a dog. Well, after about a year she disappeared one day while I was at school.:cry:


Oh I've got another one. Did all your Daddy's friends bring you any eggs they found in the woods to hatch? I hatched 3 wild turkey eggs and two survived. Tom and Ethel...they were also house pets (yard). They both died of old age.:lol:

 

OK, you're either my wife posing as someone else or you're her kin.

 

Probably failed the test.

Snipe hunted as a Cub Scout in Wisconsin and my exposure to livestock was to make sure folks were Environmentally responsible when killing them.