well, my mom had dad reverse the lock on the door and she locked me in. didn't hurt me none -- she woke me up every morning at 6AM if I needed it or not and naps were not allowed...
Yep, that worked wonders for me as well when mine was around that age. I would rub her back and drink a beer. Shoot, by the time I fell asleep I didn't hear her anymore...good beer! Just kidding! :jester: Sherry :cheers:
Thanks. Means I fit right in with everyone else on here....how wonderful! :lol::lol: Gotta laugh sometimes, Sherry
I agree with what everyone said, even the beer Definately drop the nap, try putting him to bed a little earlier at night. Whitenoise etc. The one thing I didn't see is that does he have a nightlight nearby perhaps something is scaring him?
Yeah, I think tough love is going to be in order (minus the duct tape:lol. Operation Put The Boy to Bed is about to begin so I will give a report in the morning.
So how did last nights Bedtime Battles go (well...at least that is what I call it in our house..:jester
I must be nuts..... After the third time he got up i'd pop him on the butt just enough to get his attention and tell him to stay in bed untill he falls asleep - because mommy and daddy said so. my thought is you best let him know where the pecking order in the house lies now before he is a teen and it's too late. parents set rules and kids follow them. period. REasoning with a three year old is like teaching a pig to sing...it will get you nowhere and annoy the pig.
Well I read him his books and then we kissed him and left the room and closed the gate. He automatically started freaking out and for the next 30 mins or so threw everything out of his room and was saying the most heartbreaking things even though I would go and tell him that we were there and that we love him and are not going anywhere. Well he was just getting so worked up that I decided to lay down in front of the gate in the hall. This calmed him down and he lay down on the other side. Surprisingly, he must not have been comfortable because he got all his stuff together and got in his bed and went to sleep around 11. These are very small victories, but I'll take them. We're going to stick with it and I'll try the nanny 911 approach where I keep moving a little farther away from the gate over time. It was still super hard and my husband almost caved. He just seemed so traumatized because of course he was saying things like "i want my mother" and other heartbreaking things. So overall it was a success in my book and of course I couldn't fall asleep after that because I've been used to being up with him!! Thanks for all the help from everyone :grouphug:
Oh..it sounds heartbreaking!!! Kudos to you and hubby and mommy hugs coming your way. Definately this battle was won by YOU!!! Keep at it!!! You can do it!!! Congrats
my overall concern is that you are allowing a three year old to dictate your behavoir - by lying in front of the gate. You are leaving the door open to tantrums because you gave in and gave him what he wanted - not exactly what he wanted but something close...you nearby. setting limits and ground rules is important at this age. most of a child personality and mental growth as well as attitude is done my the time they are six. swatting him on the butt may not be your thing but then you need to come up with an alternative that shows him that his behavior or acting up will not change what rules have been set in place. You leave yourself open to being manipulated by a three year old. Don't be mad at me - but I want you to stop and think about it. teach him you will never neglect his needs and let him know that you will always meet his needs - ie: he has to get up to go potty or has a bad dream. Then he can come to you, but other then that...bed is bed.
:iagree: I see this all too often - and when they're older, its too late and you will regret it. I do think what you've done is a good start, just stick to it.
I totally agree and have read the very same things in the book that I am reading. To be honest, I should not have given in and maybe hearing him saying "mommy is going to die and not come back" broke the camel's back and made me lay there, but I'm at least glad I didn't give in to going in his room which would have been easy! He does dictate his behavior and it's our fault and now we have to go through all this so truly let this be a lesson to folks to not let this get to the 3 year old point!
Sounds like mom learned a lesson last night. I think Peppercorn has hit it on the head. When mine was that age I put the gate up and she screamed as well. I did not go back and it did bother me but I did not give up and she always went to bed when told to after that. It took a little while to train her but I first had to train myself to not give in. We Are In Charge! Sherry
8:30 is a little late for a 3 year old. 8pm is more like it. Make sure he has at least an hour after dinnertime to play and exert some energy, then give him a nice warm bath, bring him in his room and read him a short story/say prayers/whatever your family does and say goodnight - turn out the lights and let that be that. If he gets up, bring him back in and tell him it's bed time, tuck him back in. No conversation*, no bargaining, no drinks of water (he should have taken care of that before bed) If you are consistent, he'll get used to his schedule within a week - give in and you'll be back on here next month saying he hasn't improved. 3 year olds do need naps, but they need them late morning or early afternoon and not for real long periods of time - a half hour to an hour should do it. A nap at 3pm that lasts till 4:30 for example will leave him pretty wide awake at 8. *conversing with them gives them what they want - attention. It isn't so much about not being tired, but more likely just wanting more attention. Kids test parents - it's the norm. If he doesn't get the conversation, or any reaction, except being led back and hearing 'bedtime' it will get old and he'll stay in bed cause nothing comes of it when he gets up. Its just like training a dog.
FYI: My 3 year old son goes down at 2:30 for a 3 hour long nap. Then goes down at 9:00 and sleeps until about 7 every night. Although, he shares a room with his brothers, so we find it easier for him to go down at the same time as them, but I don't think 8:30 is too late for a 3 year old. I don't think any of mine at that age went down before that...well, maybe my middle one, he'd fall asleep standing up if I let him!
I agree with everything you said. I also think 8:30 is too late for a 3 year old unless they have had a super long nap like DMJ's 3 yr old takes. For my kids, it's book time, say prayers and then lights out by 8:30. Mine go to bed easily. Thank goodness. They also have listened to soft music on the radio at bedtime since they were babies.
