Ok, my daughters birthday party is at the Icehouse, she has invited 9 girls. I have paid for this party ahead of time for that many kids. Now they had till May 1st to RSVP, which was very important. If you can't come, there are others on my daughters list she wanted to invited. She didn't want to pick and choose but she had to..anyways..all but 4 called me on time..one called on the 2nd, which is cool and the other I had to call, which is fine as well...but the 3rd and 4th one haven't called and I don't have their numbers (they are at my daughters school). The party is on the 15th, how much more time should I give them to call? Now, if my daughter goes and invites two other girls, and they come..what should I do if the first two girls on the list show up, even if they didn't call to let me know? I don't have the extra money for the extra kids. Sorry if this is confusing... I want to be fair to the kids, but my daughter wanted a bigger party, I told her no and gave her a limit..now I'm worried. I have never had this issue before. Why can't people call and just say yes or no?
I say assume that they non-responders are not coming and invite the extra kids. It's not unusual for some not to show up even if they responded that they would. If the originals show up and the total is higher than you expected, pony up the money. You could be a butt head about it to the others, but that will only make it uncomfortable. I would just leave them off the list next year. It's your daughters birthday. Let her have fun and don't make it her issue.
I would call the parents and ask if they were going to attend. IME, not all of the kids come or even RSVP when it comes to parties so you would have been safe to invite more than what you accomodated for in the first place - esp if it was a small number over your limit.
Rush, if they didn't bother to RSVP, just assume they aren't coming. If they show up anyway, then tell the parent you assumed they weren't coming because they didn't let you know and if they want their kid to stay, then the parent can pay the difference, because you only budgeted for X amount of kids. It will break them of that crap. It won't kill people to pick up the dang phone and call folks. Huge pet peeve of mine. 8)
Have your daughter ask them at school tomorrow and tell them that if their parent doesn't call you that night - then they won't be able to come, then she can ask the others. If these were her 'first pick' girls, then I would give them one more chance just in case they forgot to give the invite to the parents.
I don't know how old her daughter is and whether she would be comfortable with telling her friends they can't come - especially since it's lame parents and not the kids' fault they haven't RSVP'd. Maybe she can just ask if they are coming or at least get their numbers so you can call. Ultimatly, I would probably just pay for the extra kids and then leave them off the list for next year. I just went through the no RSVP thing with my son, but it worked out that I wouldn't have to pay although I was prepared to if I had to.
I get all that, but Rush already said she couldn't pay but for a certain number of kids. If you ain't got it, you ain't got it. 8)
If you don't have a number for the parents, you can't depend on children to realistically tell you whether they'll be there or not. If you can only pay for 9 and you invited 9, you have to assume they ARE coming unless you hear differently. I wouldn't invite extra kids unless I could pay for them. I've had it happen where kiddo gives me an invitation 2 or 3 days before the party....you would not want to have to turn kids away or tell parents they had to pay for their kids to participate.
It's true, but I think I would fear the worst that if I asked that a parent to pay they would get an attitude and possibly even take their child and leave, which would ruin the party. This probably wouldn't happen, but I'd be too chicken to try and find out. Probably most people wouldn't have a problem telling them they would have to pay, but I couldn't. If Rush doesn't mind, then it's a fine option.
I was going to say that as well. Sadly, you probably just can't invite the extra kids on the off chance the others show up. (Unless you don't think the parents will have a problem paying.) I have no idea why people don't RSVP anymore. It causes so much extra stress when birthday parties are supposed to be fun!
I guess I'm just a meanie, LOL! But seriously, this is exactly why I don't "do" kid birthday parties. DS has tons of cousins and friends that I can count on to do what they say they will, so I save the angst and don't do kid parties for folks I don't know. People can be rude and I'd prefer not to deal with it. Problem is, Rush is already there. :boxing:
We tell DD to tell her friends that unless no RSVP, there's no attending. It's the only way we can think of to instill some respect for other peoples time and money. As for being handed the invite 2-3 days before the event, and long after the RSVP date because DD "forgot" to show us, we purchased an appropriate gift, went to the event, gave the gift to the child, and apologized to the parents, took DD, and left. As one could surmise, DD was pretty upset. We told her it would probably help her to remember the RSVP next time. Hasn't failed yet. DD gives us RSVPs as soon as she gets them, and we respond.
I'm dealing with the no RSVP thing as well. At least I don't have to worry about paying for extra kids, since we are doing Kids Clubhouse and they don't charge per child. But there are gift bags to put together, food for the adults (this is a preschool aged party so parents will be there) and the size of the cake to consider. We invited 13 for a party this weekend. RSVP deadline was yesterday. I've had one person that actually called to say they are coming. Three others I had already spoken to because we are friends, but the other nine - nothing, nada. I will just plan extra food and gift bags for the others, but I hate wasting money. I don't really know what I would do in your shoes. It is so frustrating. I just don't know when manners became a thing of the past.
hello, all! first time posting. I agree with KDC. I have a 10 year old son and if most kids are the way my son is, if the child wants to go, they will bother the mess out of their parents to RSVP until it's final. If the extras show up that did not RSVP, like KDC said, politely inform the parents that they didn't RSVP and other arrangements were made to accomodate your daughter. If they'd like to stay, they will have to pay. It's your daughter's birthday and she should be the one happy. 8)
I agree with a lot that has been said..I think I will wait it out few more days and see what happends. I know one of the ones we are waiting on keeps telling my daughter at school that she is coming, and my DD has told her that her mom or dad has GOT to call me and let me know that. I will not take a 8 year olds word that I don't know. The other one is my daughter fault, cause she gave her the invite late after the RSVP..cause she didn't want to give it to her in front of others. So I will give it till the end of the week, and if either doesn't call then I will think that was a no show to the party..and let my daughter pick two others. If they show, then I will have the money put aside for them (this will take away from DD gift as well)..if they don't show then I will just take the extra money and spend a day out with my daughter some where else. ( I know times are tuff for a lot of family's, and I have talked to my daughter that this party isn't to get "gifts" it is to have fun with your friends and not just to invite just anyone just to get a gift, she was like I understand, I just didn't want this to be the reason for them not RSVPing) Thanks for everyones input on this...
Hey neighbor! Been there, done that. I always let any that came stay. But they did not get goodie bags. I had those prepared ahead of time with names on them of people that RSVP'd. Any child that asked was told that I made them up for the people who called to let me know they were coming. And I would not count on everyone that RSVP'd actually showing up. Had that happen as well. Good manners are not very common these days.
Well, the goody bags are part of the price I paid, so there will only be 9 there. That isn't something that I'm bringing extra. There is cake, drinks, pizza and popcorn for 9 kids only.. Thankfully most of the kids that are going I know the parents so unless the kids are sick, that is the only reason I see them not making it. Sadly good manners aren't common. It's sad!
