Would This Hurt Your Feelings?

I'm seriously trying to figure this thing out.

A member of my family, that I thought I was very close to, had a trip to the beach planned and was supposed to stop by my house either going or coming on that trip. They didn't. Didn't call, didn't stop, nothing. I waited around, never heard a peep. Knew their cell wasn't working, but they were with someone whose phone was working(I didn't have that number). Come to find out, they freaking had LUNCH here in Clayton and didn't bother to call me. Supposedly they had extra passengers and didn't want to "bother" me with folks I didn't know. OK.............WTH??

It's been two weeks, and I thought I was over it, but just found out about them stopping for lunch here tonight and it's really ticked me off all over again. They live 4 hours away, so it's not like they visit often or anything like that, so I was really looking forward to it. Yeah, I'm being a big baby. :?

 

I would be offended too.... but I am sensitive!

I am a 'planner'. So if someone says they are doing something I plan on it, and work my life around it. Now hubby on the other hand could careless and it wouldn't bother him in the least.

They could have called to ask you what you thought, or at least call to say they aren't coming!! At least then you could have gotten on with your life!

Meanies!

 

I know exactly what you mean LJK, I'm a planner too. If I tell someone I'm going to do something, pretty much come hell or high water, I do it. I'd cleaned house, the whole nine yards. I know it's stupid to let it bug me. Obviously the world doesn't revolve around me, but dern, it was my Grandmother!! :banghead:

 

KDC, after being on 4042 as long as you have been I would have thought your skin was steel belted by now! :jester:

 

LOL Hught ! You'd think! Unfortunately, I'm a marshamellow at heart. :jester:

 

uh yea that would tick me off and hurt my feelings too! my whole family is 9 hours away. about 10 of them went to SC to see my cousin graduate from boot camp or something a few years ago. drove right down 40, said they were going to stop on the way back and never did! none of them had ever been here to see us....nothing!

i sure dont go outta my way to see all of them when i go home now! and of course i make smart *** comments every chance i get!

 

KDC,

You're right to feel hurt. And then, let it go. If you're particularly close to the folks who didn't keep their rendezvous, it's probably worth letting it slide this time. After all, if you're close, you'll see each other again, and allowing this to intrude on what should be a happy time isn't the best use of your emotions.

If, OTOH, you're not that close, Screw 'em, and don't let their poor manners get to ya. You deserve to be with better people than that.

See, I am flexible....8)

 

OK, thanks everybody. I feel better now, apparently I am not being super-sensitive. I'll get over it, it ain't the end of the world. Truth be told, it's my own fault as I have a tendancy to be over-accomodating and tend not to let folks know when they have hurt me. In this instance, she knows that it got to me.

 

I would feel the same way with you, but come to think of it, maybe they didn't have enough time to see you as they're with someone else. If I were you, you can email or mail them a card, telling them that you would love for them to come to your house for dinner or something like that. Maybe foods would attract them to you, who know?

 

Would it be too vindictive to call and tell them you're coming there for a visit and then not showing up?

When they call to check on you, you could say, "What? I thought it was my turn!"

:twisted:

 

I've always been the kind of person where I stay to true to my word. If things change, I call and let the person know! That's just rude and tacky to say you'll be somewhere or do something and never bother to call. When people do that to me, I automatically lose a certain amount of respect for them (unless they have a really good excuse). I experienced something like that this week. I've been trying to sell something on craigslist. A lady said she'd come by yesterday to get it. She never came - never called. I sent her an e-mail and she said she got one somewhere else. HELLO?! Rude!

 

I would be hurt and upset also, especially if I found out that they ate here and didn't bother to call me and even give me a chance to come and meet them for lunch or whatever, especially if it were my grandmother. Is this the same one I wrote the poem for? If so, I don't blame you for being upset. But like H6 said, we can be mad and upset, but then we have to let it go, or at least try, but if you are like me, I would be made for a while and would probably let them know I was upset about it. Hang in there girl!!!

 

I'm sorry you had to go through this. That's why I like animals better than people. :lol:

 

WHoop, Whoop! :hurray: I say that ALL of the time!!

 

Yes, FF, that was the one. :?

Like I said, I'll get over it. Not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things, because overall, she's always been great to me. I just had trouble figuring this one out.

And yeah, HG & PG, I can feel ya! LOL

 

To hell with them... their lose not yours... :cheers:

 

harley girl i agree with you, animals are better! my husbands family comes to this area clayton/smithfield and never bothers to call or come here, and they are just a few miles away when they do come .would be hurt also, but since this is years old for us,it doesnt hurt as much.:iagree:

 

Obviously KDC's case is a little bit callous, but I will admit to flying into Milwaukee or Chicago and avoiding my relatives. It is not because I don't love them, but because often times I am there under a tight time line or am expected to be at dinner with clients. If I can squeeze an hour or two in I will stop and see my Step-Father or Brothers and Sisters.

 

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Hey, it would have all been fine if she had just called. Things happen, I got no problem with that. I HATE being left hanging. I don't do it to other people and it really ticks me off when someone does it to me. In your case, your on business and that is perfectly fine. They weren't, they were just sightseeing.