Why didn't I think of this?

Cleopatra · Aug 25, 2009

Ingenious!!!!!

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/Home_Page.html

The next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 20 states and growing. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.

We currently cover the following states:
Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana ... and growing.

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged friends.

Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals.

Thank you for your interest in Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. We hope we can help provide you with peace of mind.

Please visit our FAQS page
Click to expand...

nsanemom22 · Aug 25, 2009

Are they hiring? :lol:

CraigSPL · Aug 25, 2009

perhaps it was because your brain was still a little clouded from the visit to CDH with us on Friday.

:jester:

carolinasun · Aug 25, 2009

I haven't heard much about that, I BET their were a lot of clouded Brains!!:cheers::ack:

Cleopatra · Aug 25, 2009

CraigSPL said: ↑

perhaps it was because your brain was still a little clouded from the visit to CDH with us on Friday.

:jester:
Click to expand...

Hey now. I only had 3 beers in a span of 4 hours. :lol:

H3xKing · Aug 25, 2009

The FAQs Page

FAQ's

Q: Is this a Joke?
A: No. This is a serious offer to our Christian friends who believe in the Second Coming and honestly care about the future of their pets after the Rapture occurs.

Q: Do YOU believe in the Rapture.
A: As atheists we do not hold beliefs in the supernatural or a divine being. Thus, we do not believe in the Rapture. However, we respect the beliefs of others and are open to the possibility that our perspective could possibly be wrong.

Q: How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured.
A: Actually, we don't ensure it, they do. Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with
Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.

Q: Can I meet or communicate with my rescue representative?
A: Sorry, No. Our representatives' information are held in strict confidence.

Q: Can I be sure my name and information won't be misused or circulated?
A: We hold all information in complete confidence. Your name, street address, and email info are held only in the EE-BP data base. They are not provided to the respective rescue representative unless and until the Rapture actually occurs. Only the state, town , type and number of pets are known in advance to the rescue representatives for advanced logistical planning purposes.

Q: How can we trust that you'll honor your service agreement, afterall, you ARE atheists.
A: Being an atheist does not mean we lack morals or ethics. It just means we don't believe in God or gods. All of our representatives are normal folks who love and live for their family, are gainfully employed, and have friends of varying beliefs. Some of us are married to believers. Many of us volunteer our time at food banks, animal shelters, meals on wheels organizations, etc. We fully endorse the "Rule of Reciprocity", also known as "The Golden Rule." We just happen not to believe in God(s).

Q: Will your representatives personally care for the rescued pets?
A: Yes. Some of our rescuers have the room and facilities to accomodate a very significant number of additional pets. Others can accomodate fewer. We will manage our number of subscribers to ensure that no pets will be overlooked, left out, or subjected to less than optimal care. Eternal Earth-Bound Pets will also coordinate with our member rescuers in adjacent states/regions to balance the pet load where necessary. All pets will live in loving homes, not in animal shelters or pet "mills".

Q: When the Rapture occurs, how long before my pet is rescued?
A: The timing is contingent on the number of subscribers we have in each state/region and travel distance. Our rescuers know that this is a time sensitive service. Pets' lives are at stake. We will limit the number of subscribers in each zone so that any given rescuer will not be over burdened. Naturally, we must anticipate that there will be widespread chaos and confusion immediately following the Rapture that could impact travel times. Thus, we are targeting a maximum of between 18- 24 hours from realization of the Rapture, to animal rescue.

Q: If my pet has special needs, can you accomodate them?
A: Yes. Our contract form includes room for specific care instructions, medications/dosages, preferred foods, even any favored pet toys that should be brought from your home to your pets new home. While we expect most animals to be stressed because of your absence etc., we do ask that if your pet is prone to aggressive behavior that you note this on the form so we can take precautions to ensure the rescuer's and your pet's safety.
Q: What if one of my family members are left behind. Will you still take posession of my pet?
A: That depends. When the rescuer arrives, if your loved one wants to retain possesion of the pet, the pet stays in the home. We expect in these circumstances that the pet will offer the family member some comfort and stability given the trauma of what has occurred. If the family member prefers, we will adopt the pet per our contract.

Click to expand...

ROTFLMBO...

Wonder how many people have signed up?

KellBell · Aug 25, 2009

carolinasun said: ↑

I haven't heard much about that, I BET their were a lot of clouded Brains!!:cheers::ack:
Click to expand...

the reason you haven't heard anyth.....

oh wait, nevermind.:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

carolinasun · Aug 25, 2009

CAN'T post it online, right!!! Everyone has to kick up their heels now and then....... :hurray:

KellBell · Aug 25, 2009

carolinasun said: ↑

CAN'T post it online, right!!! Everyone has to kick up their heels now and then....... :hurray:
Click to expand...

not quite....8)

kaci · Aug 25, 2009

Cleopatra said: ↑

Hey now. I only had 3 beers in a span of 4 hours. :lol:
Click to expand...

and i actually only had 4 real drinks between 1:30 and 10pm, i drank a lot of Diet Pepsi in between - there was no way i could drink that entire time:lol::lol:

kaci · Aug 25, 2009

carolinasun said: ↑

CAN'T post it online, right!!! Everyone has to kick up their heels now and then....... :hurray:
Click to expand...

you will have to make it to the next one - we really had a lot of fun:hurray:

bosoxfan · Aug 25, 2009

Looks like you could start one in NC, since they're not here yet:

We currently cover the following states:
Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana ... and growing.
Click to expand...

Perhaps the FAQs should read:

Q: Is this a Joke?
A: No. This is a not a joke. It is a scam. There is a difference.
Click to expand...

Jalen · Aug 25, 2009

What a scam, but I have to give it to them for their creativity.
I've heard that all dogs go to heaven, so if you are an athiest and have a dog, just give me $100 and I'll take care of your dog in heaven for eternity. lol

seabee · Aug 25, 2009

kaci said: ↑

and i actually only had 4 real drinks between 1:30 and 10pm, i drank a lot of Diet Pepsi in between - there was no way i could drink that entire time:lol::lol:
Click to expand...

why not????

kdc1970 · Aug 25, 2009

What is that old saying? A fool and his money are soon parted. Anyone stupid enough to sign up for that deserves to be lighter in the wallet. 8)

CraigSPL · Aug 25, 2009

kaci said: ↑

there was no way i could drink that entire time:lol::lol:
Click to expand...

Sure you can....just have to pace yourself......or be a professional drinker

:mrgreen:

Hught · Aug 25, 2009

bosoxfan said: ↑

Looks like you could start one in NC, since they're not here yet:

Perhaps the FAQs should read:
Click to expand...

How did you make that determination?

Personally I think it is a great idea, If they honestly mean it though I would think that a $500 up front charge would be more reasonable with some protections through an accounting firm to make sure the money doesn't just get ****ed through.

I am an agnostic, but according to most Christians I am not going to "Heaven" so a NC branch might make sense.

The reason for the $500 is I am an agnostic, I will give you the benefit of the doubt that it might happen and I will feed your pets.

kaci · Aug 25, 2009

CraigSPL said: ↑

Sure you can....just have to pace yourself......or be a professional drinker

:mrgreen:
Click to expand...

hmmm, is there a way to make a living being a professional drinker:cheers:

CraigSPL · Aug 25, 2009

kaci said: ↑

hmmm, is there a way to make a living being a professional drinker:cheers:
Click to expand...

Well there was this guy on The Man Show

:mrgreen:

seabee · Aug 25, 2009

CraigSPL said: ↑

Well there was this guy on The Man Show

:mrgreen:

Click to expand...

Doesn't he want to pitch a tent in Jersey when he shows up for UN meetings... :jester:

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