So I finally landed another part-time job a couple weeks ago, and I get to work from home too! I am working for a private consulting firm that tests different products for agencies, sorta like Consumer Reports. I found this little jewel via an ad on the world wide web while surfing a deep-water fishing site. They send me the stuff and I try it out and report back if I liked it or not, or if I got any rashes or anything. Only problem is, they wont disclose what the product is because they don’t want me to research or form any opinions before I try the product out. So anyway, I already done a couple of reviews and figured if ya'll was interested I'd share the results.... Redneck Reviews coming soon!
Well, I waited patiently to start my new career as a bonafide product tester and, like most other things in my life, it didn’t quite go as planned. I mean, I did get the product via the brown truck yesterday but the product they sent me was some type of cucumber-melon with ginseng cream that you put on if you got knobby knees and nasty elbows. Now let me tell ya, this aint what I had in mind. I did tell them my name was Rich and we won’t talking financially so they musta knowed that I was a man right? I thought they’d be sendin me fishing stuff, or ammo, or something I know a little about; but skin cream? Anyway, they don’t give me the brand or company name, they just state what the product is and how to test it. Then I have to fill out a question sheet and email it to them. Simple as that! So here’s my review for any of you ladies who are interested… Application: The first run kinda went a little south. After applying the first coat on my knees, I proceeded to lay on the couch and enjoy an infomercial about a salad choppin machine. After about two minutes I fell asleep. A short time later I awoke only to find the dog licking my knees clean. The second try was more successful. I put a little of the cream in a dog bowl and set it outside to distract my four-legged buddy. Then I put some more on my knees and elbows. Application was smooth and easy, and the cream itself was quite fragrant. Duration: Well, the sheet said to keep it on for 10-15 minutes but I’ll have to tell ya, it smelled good. My house aint smelled that good since my ex-wife stopped using the Avon perfume to cover up her foot odor! I kept it on for about 45 minutes, just long enough for my son to come in and ask me if my fungus had growed back. Results: Well the stuff smelled real good, and it did get rid of an oil or grease stain on my right elbow but it sure made me knees shine in the light. I mean, I aint sure that I can go bowling tonight with my knees glowin like this. I’m pretty embarrassed about it too. Overall Rating: 1-10 Scale- I guess if you have knobby nasty knees and elbows this mess might be of benefit to some of ya’ll. In that case, I’ll give her an 8. I’m being generous because it smelled good and the dog aint left my side in three days. But I aint going fishin or bowling till the shine wears off. Hey, if ya’ll like this kinda redneck review thing I’ll keep posting ‘em. If not, I’ll get the hint! Ya' be good! Rich
I know of a good product to test...Uncle Booger's Bumper Dumper. Simply type in bumperdumper.com and you'll see this amazing product for outdoorsmen.
I also tested out Anti Monkey Butt Powder but that was for official use and not for my Redneck Reviews. Good stuff! http://www.antimonkeybutt.com/
Rich you are a true gem on this board. You make me laugh because I can always relate to your redneck posts (speaking of the in-laws here, not my real kin). Keep the reviews coming! :cheers:
Product #2!!!! Well, I forgot to post this yesterday, but I recieved another product to review via the Big Brown truck on Saturday. This item is a rubber teeth guard that is supposed to help with teeth grinding and jaw alignment problems (of which I have neither). Well, before bed, I put the thang in and immediately felt like I was back on the high school football team (minus the cold weather, hard bench, and the humiliation of never getting to play.) I had a real hard time going to sleep with it in my mouth, so I took it out and went to the fridge to get a little snack. After I finished the leftover meatloaf and bowl of cereal I headed back to bed. When I re-inserted the tooth thing, it tasted bad; reckon you should probably wash it before re-insertion. I finally dozed off into what I would consider a peaceful night’s sleep, hardly noticing my mouth was full of rubber. Around 3AM my son Chase had to wake me to tell me that my snoring sounded like a “hen gettin’ bit by a gator” whatever that means. It was then that I noticed that my pillow and the whole left side of my face was covered in “wetness.” Now I’ve been known to drool a time or two but this was like sleeping beside a fire hydrant! Anyway, I finally got things situated (flipped the pillow over) and went back to bed. I woke this morning in panic cause I thought I had swallowed the thang, it was GONE! Then I seen the dog layin next to me chewin on it so I reckon I either spit it out or he went in and got it! That was my experience, and since I don’t have teeth grinding or jaw problems you can draw your own conclusions.
If this is the product I think it is, the best thing about it is the disclaimer: "not for use while vehicle is in motion..."
Keep em commin Red. I just gotta get me a Laugh, considerin I Just moved to the Capitol of Red neck city. I Int never seen some one do warsh before, as they call it here. and they Warsh the Vehicle. and Warsh the dish. Warsh the shirt so they can wares it again tamarrow, Yup Never seen such foolishness in my Life. Gitter done Rich. :beathorse:
