My 15yo son was at a friend's house last weekend with several of their buddies. There was a parent present, but somehow the kids got hold of a small bottle of alcohol. Apparently everyone took a sip, and for the most part they all decided it was disgusting. Our son chose to tell us about the incident, because we have always told him that if he had done something wrong, it's better for us to hear it from him instead of someone else. He also said that he and another one of the boys had been talking and didn't feel right about their friend getting all the blame for what happened. These boys have all been friends since early elementary school and are pretty much "role model" students. The parents of these children all trust each other to look after the others as if they were their own. I still feel that way and put none of the blame on the parents of this boy. It was just to see what they could get away with and, since I was a teenager once, I understand that. I guess my problem is this; my husband just kind of wants to let this slide because our son did come and tell us on his own. And while I can appreciate that, I also ask myself that if he did this with a parent around, what will he do when there's not? And, will he think it's okay to do since he didn't get punished the first time? Just looking for some input...thanks!
IMO I wouldn't sweat it. I would probably explain how alcohol can be abused bad and leave it at that. You are fortunate to have an upfront relationship with your child. Not many kids would admit to doing something like that at 15.
My opinion from experience: I would not tell the parents. Even if you are friends it can breakup a friendship if the parents defend there son. I would definitely ground your son for his actions on drinking but also let him know it will not be as hard as it would have been had he not told you and your husband. He obviously felt guilty about it so I wouldn't worry if no parents are around. My teen broke away from a group of girls she had been friends with since elementary school because they were drinking, having oral sex and bragging about. It was a tough time because I did let the parents know about it and they backed their girls. No loss on our end because she made new friends but both of us lost people we thought were our friends. The kids I know doing this are also taking liquor from their parents and then putting water in the bottle to make up the difference. It's a tough time and hopefully your son will not bend to peer pressure. Good luck! Sherry
I would punish your son lightly. This way he knows that he broke the rules, and your happy that he spoke to you, but if it ever happens again the punishment will be more severe. You are fortunate that he chose to speak up, and you don't want to jeopardize that, but there are consequences for not following the rules. Good Luck!
If he's an upfront, honest kid at 15 to tell you something like that, I wouldn't push the issue any further. I'd just tell him that you hope that he doesn't do any drinking like that behind your back again. I'd tell him that if you catch wind of it that he'll have to wait for his license a year. That should keep him on the straight and narrow. As for the other kids, raising them ultimately is not your responsibility. They are getting to an age where they will have opportunities whether you tell on them or not. If you can keep your son away from the alcohol, hopefully he'll be a good role model.
Honestly, it sounds like the situation after the incident played out exactly like it should have in terms of people doing the responsible thing. I say kudos to your son for coming forward. It sounds like he's got a good head on his shoulders. I would warn about alcohol, but other than that, tell him how much you appreciate that he shared it with you. That's huge in my book. A sip of alcohol is hardly something I would have bothered mentioning to my parents. If a sip makes these boys feel bad then they will probably be hesitant to really party it up anyway. At least for now.
I agree with this and I agree with your husband. My son reports to me just about daily how many times he has been offered marijuana @ school. What action would you like to take, rehab? That's kind of OTT. lol
Hmmm I agree in a way with the consensus that he should be punished lightly since he did come to you, however, all I can think about is what if the other parents find out about it and then find out that you knew! If my daughter had been drinking and one of my friends knew about it and didn't tell me...I would be a little ticked. I guess it depends on the friendship you have with the other kids parents. It's one of those damned if you do and damned if you don't situations.
Huh? All of the parents are aware, the parent of the supplier called her. The question is whether or not to punish the son.
I personally think you should shelter them more. The more shelter the better. Then when they really have temptation there is no hesitation. Right on! Shelter those chilrens!
