Elementary end of grade testing

Never having dealt with children with these problems, take this for what it's worth. This and $2 will get you a cup of coffee.

I think that holding her back would not only help her, but might teach her a valuable lesson that she's not in as much control as she thinks she is. Life doesn't always have an easy way out.

 

Then you are simply not taking the right things. It also sounds like the typical "Step Parent". Everything is wrong with his or her child. How often do you praise the kid? I mean tell the whole story. All I see is a STEP PARENT complaining about her husbands kid and how she is simply not this, that, or the other.

 

Read a few posts back what the OP said. This child is dx'd w/ ADD AND ODD. This is a mental health dx and is NOT something easily dealt with. I have a child with this. It is not as simple to just take things away from these kids. They do not care what you take away. It has no effect on them. I will not get into the pyschology of it all or the why of it all as I am NOT a professional. I just have tons of experience in this area. You can not parent these children the same way. Not a bit. In addition, she(OP) has the extra issue of being the step parent in this. Very complicating situation. I'm sure they'll be some type of come back but I don't care. I have lived w/ children for over 12 years w/ various mental health dx's. I can not stand it when people say " oh it's a discipline problem." "Oh, you are doing this wrong or that wrong." etc. The list can go on forever. Unless you live w/ the person, it truly is hare to wrap your mind around it. My sister in-law did NOT believe us & what we said about our kids until she lived w/ us for a year and a half. She apologized to us over and over for not believing what we originally said. And that is my 2 cents.

Stephanie-- mom to 7 (soon to be 10!)

 

Well, for the record, I AM a professional...

That being said, I think the original poster asked about whether or not folks thought her step-daughter should repeat the grade or not. I don't recall her asking for armchair quarterbacking or for criticism about her parenting techniques. It's oh-so-easy to criticize someone else when you're not in the situation...

So, since it's now been disclosed that the child has ADD and ODD, then my opinion (for all 2 cents it's worth) is that she should repeat the grade. It may help to "motivate" her to be more invested in doing things the best she can the first time, not "when she wants to do it."

Also, I would let the vast majority of the decision making in this area be made by the mother and the father. As a step-parent, usually any opinion you have either way may be interpreted as criticism by the other parent, especially if they are in disagreement about the issue... But it sounds like you're trying to be as helpful as you can!

Good luck!

 

Thanks for the positive feedback! You are right in that it should be the decision of her mother and father. I have told them both that and my husband agrees. Her mother kind of shuts down when things get tough, which is why I am a bit more involved. I love her very much, step child or not. She means the world to me and I want her to succeed in life. She is treated no differently than my own. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I sleep just fine at night so I could care less about any negativity. My husband and I both feel she would benefit immensely from being retained educably and also to help her realize that you don't always have an easy way out. Apparently, she was not doing reading homework for two whole quarters. We have just been made aware of this. She is with her mother during the week which is why we had no idea. Well that and the fact that the teacher just let her do it in class the day it was supposed to be due instead of letting a parent know. I feel this is gonna get pretty deep! Thanks again for all the advice, I truly appreciate it!

 

You should step away from this topic and butt out, you're out of your league and don't need to ASSume things you haven't a clue about.

 

But then he wouldn't post anything with that criteria!

Possible exception on music

 

lol

 

I know a lot about this topic. As a parent of a step child. Three to be exact. That's just on this marriage!! Lets not forget about the elevendybillion other times I have been married. I love it when "EXPERTS" come into the picture. Start out strong and then their bloomers drop. Suck it "EXPERT".

and music is a passion of mine....I may throw a few nuggets in their....


Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the wall

The Who - The kids are alright

The Offspring - The kids aren't alright.


SUCK IT!

 

She's gonna remember forever too.

 

Disclaimer: Nothing I say should be taken seriously. Unless I say..Take me seriously.


P.S.

ed·u·ca·ble (j-k-bl)
adj. Capable of being educated or taught: educable youngsters.

Educably does not exist.

 

finally something worth posting from you

 

Ohhhhhhh my lir monkey...Don't taunt the taunter! Your head is a delicasy in bangledesh!!

 

no wooden hammers allowed