I was wandering if anyone out there has had a problem and had to talk with the band directors ( Mr. Duffy or Mr. Britt)? And they were very rude to you and your child? Because this afternoon I DID! Here's what happened! My family member passed away yesterday, I was told last night. So I went this afternoon to let Mr. Duffy and Mr. Britt know that our family will be leaving out of state for the funeral and that my daughter would not be there tomorrow. Well, Mr. Duffy is the one who was very rude and unprofessional about the whole conversation. Not only was he own the phone telling someone that , '' now we have to find a freshman to take her place", and had said something to my daughter before I got there and had her in tears. Now, this is a family emergency and things DO COME UP, but I am very upset on, not only how he treats different students with favortism, but upset my daughter and myself( her parent). My daughter has been in the WJHS Marching Band, now for 3 years, and NO ONE SHOULD TREAT OUR CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTS LIKE THIS. I WILL BE PULLING HER OUT, AS OF TOMORROW!!!Not only this, but last year, she got sick and dehydrated and had to have an IV in her for 4 hours, and when I went to give them the note from the doctor, Mr. Duffy again, says " Well if she can't practice today, then she can not leave with them on the next day for competition. Well, I let that one slide. NO MORE, THIS IS IT. ALSO, IF IT WASN'T FOR OUR CHILDREN AND OUR HARD EARNED MONEY, THEY WOULD BE NO BAND, AND THEY WOULD NOT HAVE A JOB!!! I AM SORRY FOR FEELING THIS WAY, BUT I AM FED UP AND WILL NOT TAKE OR HAVE MY DAUGHTER TAKE THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR FROM INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE...:banghead:
My daughter does not to WJHS, she goes to Clayton, but I have the same types of problems witht he directors there, not just with marching band, but band all together. I had an incedent last year, toward the end of the year, jumping all over my daughter because I had taken her clarinet in for repairs. She had been hounding me about it and I was able to get off work one day early enough to do and decided on the spur of the moment, took it in. Now I did send a message explaining why she didn't have her instrument, but he jumped all over her case. She told me about it when she got home from school and I tried to call him from work, could not get him, left a message for him to call me back, called a couple other times and even sent a message on her progress report, no return call. Not the first time I have had some problems since Mr Heard left. Like you, I am not taking any more crap this year. They better look out because mama bear has her claws out this year!!!! I am letting her continue to participate right now because she loves doing marching band.
I wouldn't take your daughter out of band unless she really did not want to play the instrument anymore. I *would* go to that school and get into their a.., followed by a meeting with the administration where I would get into their a.. too.
That's what these bands are all about. It's the same in High School with sports also. If you make a commitment you have no excuses for anything. My nephew played football in high school and when he was in 9th grade his mom was in the hospital on and off again for 2 months. We didn't know she was a drug abuser at that time, so he had to continue football without taking time to see her. Go to the funeral, life goes on. I don't agree with the attitude, however when my kids make a commitment they need to stick to it. Is there anyone that can watch your child while you attend the funeral? You just have to make other abiligations sometimes. I do feel your pain, and I am sorry for your loss. GOOD LUCK! :cry:
Are you suggesting she leave her child at home so she can attend band in lieu of attending a funeral?
I think you should take your daughter to the funeral regardless of what the band directors say....This is family! As far as I am concerned, family comes over band anytime. As far as pulling her out, I would let that be her choice. Regardless whether or not I agree with the band directors or not, I have left it her choice. lynbarb ~ I do agree with teaching kids to honor their commitments, but there are exceptions. I am committed to go to work every day, but things come up and at times I have not keep my commitment. Life happens.....
I would definitely set up a meeting with administration and the band directors and discuss the issue before I pull my child out. I am sorry that is happening to your family right now. The last thing you need to worry about is having your child look for a replacement. Call the principal and be sure she knows what was said.
You know, sometimes there are more important things in life than BAND and SPORTS. Good Lord. I can't believe you wrote that! :?
What the French Toast? "Sorry that Grandma died sweetie, but you have band practice, so you can't attend the funeral, mourn, or have closure, that's life, move on!"??
Oh for Christ sake, this is high school band, she's not running the country in DC or anything like that. Don't we all have obligations? A death in the family takes precedence over your everyday obligations. Heck, if she were in the US Army they'd give her funeral leave. You talk as if this type of commitment is like your commitment to another person in a marriage, in sickness and in health. There are times when it's okay to break off of a commitment, it's called life and s_ _ _ happens.
:iagree: Bet ya if it was one of their family members they'd be on the next bus outa town for the funeral.
I am sorry for your loss but I can't believe how selfish that sounds. You did not say that your daughter wanted to quit but you were pulling her out, I'll assume that you are hurting and didn't really mean it to be so self-centered. If she is a senior she should be old enough to make her own decisions, your child's extracurricular activities should not define who you are but you should support her in anything she wants to do. I am sorry for the way she was treated and if she wants to quit, by all means support her decision, but if she wants to continue, you should let her decide. JMHO.
I'm sorry, but my daughter is a junior in high school and 16 years old. I have every right to pull my daughter out of band and any other thing til she is 18. Obviously you don't have a child who does sports, because if you did, you would see this point. The band directors get brave every year by, saying things to OUR children, and us parents shouldn't do anything about it? The words they have used to my daughter and other children in the band are uncalled for and unacceptable. And I will do something about it!!! ALSO, I AM BEING SELFISH AND SELF CENTERED, WELL LET ME TELL YOU THAT YOU AND WHOEVER ELSE THINK THAT THEY, CAN TALK TO CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTS THIS WAY. THEN YOU AND THE REST OF THEM ARE THE ONES WHO IS SELFISH AND SELF CENTERED. THIS IS MY DAUGHTER AND I WILL NOT LET ANY ONE TALK TO HER THIS WAY. YOU SHOULD BE THERE AND WATCH WHAT THEY DO AND SAY TO OUR CHILDREN, UNTIL THEN, I BELIEVE YOU DON'T NEED TO BE SAYING ANYTHING AT ALL... IncognitoO and ViviansS
Isn't the WJHS band going to the Macy's Parade this year? I'm sure that has alot of pressure on the band directors. I'm not saying this is a reason to be rude or insensitive but they might have been frustrated if the absence would effect practice etc. (Again, the funeral is a priority but if you have your mind on one thing i.e. the parade perhaps he wasn't thinking clearly.) Really you just have to talk to them and if they continue to be rude I'm sure you're not the only parent who is going to make the admins aware of it.
And this is off topic, but how is your other daughter doing with her new baby? Did she ever get any response from her employer who fired her? (Sorry for the hijack!)
