I have a sick cat that I may have to put down this week. He is old with many health issues. My concern is for my 7 year old son. We have 4 old adult cats that he has been around them his entire life and he is very attached to them. I would prefer to have the vet come to our home but I think that would be too hard on my son. Will probably take the cat to the vet to be put down. I need help deciding if I should tell my son that we had the cat put to sleep or should I tell him the cat died. I think he will be upset by the fact that we had it done to him (he won't understand that it was best for the cat) but I don't like to lie to him. With all of these older cats, I need will have to deal with this several more times in the coming years. Any thoughts are appreciated.
AWWW!!!! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry. I don't have any kids so I'm not much help in that department.
My son lost his pet rabbit (his first pet) when he was seven and took it rather well. At some point, kids have to learn that death is a part of life. When the rabbit died, we told him that the rabbit had gotten sick and that it had gone to heaven and had all the lush fields of grass to eat that it wanted. It could hop around and do whatever it wanted. If you aren't particularly religious, you may have difficulty with introducing the notion of his pet being in heaven and at peace. I think it helps ease a kids' mind and lessens their stress about the situation. Of course, my son wanted to see the rabbit one last time...I guess for closure. When he saw the rabbit's lifeless body, it upset him some but he sprang back soon after. He asked about heaven several times and we reassured him. He had a hang up about the rabbit being buried, so I put the rabbit in our storage building for a day and buried him the next while he was at school. He assumed the rabbit was out there for awhile and later I told him that I had buried him. By then, he was okay with it.
We had to put our dog to sleep rather suddenly and my youngest was around 7 at the time. They understood when we explained that she was suffering and we didn't want her to anymore. I wouldn't do it with the child around but I might have the body so they could say goodbye one last time. We always have a little service, too, even for the rats, guinea pigs, etc. It has been mentioned many times on here, but Cat Heaven by Cynthia Rylant is a great book for kids having to deal with this(there is also Dog Heaven). There are another couple of books that are good, maybe someone with chime in with the titles.
pet death For Every Cat an Angel by Christine Davis. I have not seen the cat version, but the dog version of For Every Dog an Angel is really sweet....You can get it on Amazon for about 10 dollars. I would tell him that his kitty died, no details necessary, he doesnt need to know that the kittys death was assisted by a vet. Has there been a friend or family member that has passed away that you could tell him that his kitty went to heaven to be with them? You might try telling him the story of the Rainbow Bridge to give him a happy mental image of where his beloved kitty goes after death. I would avoid the whole "put to sleep" thing, it could give your child night fears about going to sleep. Sympathies for you and your family during this difficult time. (((HUGS)))
My dog had to be put to sleep when I was a kid. I didn't know until years later that he didn't die on his own. By then I could handle it. I would have been hysterical knowing my dad had him killed. That's how I would have seen it. I say just tell him the kitty was very sick and died and think of as many happy stories to talk about as possible.
Be straight forward and honest with some sugar coating... he's old enough to start to grasp death... I think the earlier the better... Death is an important fact of life unfortunately, but the more they understand it maybe the easier to accept it... Tough all the way around... Be honest, share it together the tears and all... :grouphug::grouphug:
+1. It could at least be a chance to teach something about compassion and letting go. You might want to sit down with him and explain things before you have to take the cat to the vet rather than after the fact. I think "Put to sleep" is an appropriate euphemism in this situation- there are many worse things you could say, and it brings some comfort. Sorry.
Disclaimer: I don't have kids. What about something like this: "You know how Kitty has been tired and not eating much these last few months? Kitty is old and doesn't feel good. It would be mean and selfish of us to keep Kitty around when Kitty is in pain and can't enjoy being a kitty anymore. I took Kitty to the vet this morning, and the vet helped end Kitty's pain with a shot that made her to go sleep and pass away peacefully. I know you're sad that Kitty won't be around anymore, and so am I, but relieving suffering and giving an animal a peaceful death is part of the responsibility of having a pet, and it is one of the greatest gifts we can give our pets." I think at 7, your kid is probably old enough to start figuring things out on his own. Giving him truthful information is part of helping him grow up and develop a better understanding of how life works. Death is part of life, and it is hard to lose a beloved pet. Obviously it's your call on how much detail to go into; you alone know your child's emotional maturity level and know how much information is enough. Some kids deal quite well with this and process it in ways that are amazingly grown up, but others are traumatized by it ... sometimes it's better to give less information and then see if your child has questions; what questions are asked and how can help you determine how much more information to give. Your vet may have some ideas on how to broach this subject with your kids too. I'm sorry.
Thank you everyone for the wonderful suggestions! They all helped me alot. It is done and we had him cremated so we will have him back next week. My son took it alot better than I expected and much better than I did. I am still a basket case. I think mostly because I had to make the decision that it was time instead of waiting for him to go on his own. I am now at peace with my decision and believe that I did the right thing. I just could not handle letting him continue to suffer. My son had alot of questions and I answered them as honestly as possible. He wants to make him a craft, draw him a picture, pray for him and put a light next to his memorial box so he won't be in the dark. On the way to school this morning he asked for a kitten! I said no that we still have 3 other cats for him to play with and help take care of. This cat had diabetes so please have your animals screened for the condition so you can treat them quickly if needed. Thanks again.
