Elementary end of grade testing

My stepdaughter is in 3rd grade and has failed her reading test twice. The teacher is against her being retained but my husband is feeling like maybe she does need to be held back. He is afraid of letting her move on to the fourth grade if she didn't learn what she was supposed to. She has c's and b's but was allowed to retake her reading tests the whole first semester if she didn't do well on them. She had to retake most of them. My question is how does this waiver board thing work? Do they take in to account how the parent feels on this?

 

I don't know exactly how it works, but, we got told about that by our son's teacher, also. Basically, it takes some effort from the teacher and parents to get done; but, if the child has a passing grade for the year but did not pass the EOG, it can be pushed through. If you feel like your child can handle the next grade, then push for the waiver; we intend to if our son can score high enough on his math this time.

 

Okay, speaking from experience here. My son was in 3rd grade last year. SAME scenario as your stepdaughter. We were all on the fence whether to push him on through or hold him back. We decided to hold him back. Great choice for him & us. Here's the deal. If they are not really getting what they need from school, pushing them through is a mistake. It won't give them the self-confidence & self- esteem to feel like they can achieve. By holding them back, they have a bit of an edge if you will as they've been through the classwork before. Does it mean they'll get all A's the second go around? Most likely not. But, it will give them the skills to move onto fourth grade. It did nothing bad socially for our son by being held back either. I was at first concerned w/ that. Now, some of my others I've gone to waiver & pushed them through. It really depends upon how well you think they retained the material.

And yes, the school must also listen to how the parents feel about the retention or pushing forward to the next level. Luckily, we all had teachers that were in agreement w/ us. Do what you think will benefit your child in the LONG run. Not short term. And, if you do decide to retain your child, do not focus on end of year awards that focus on grade level & the ceremonies that brag how their all moving onto the next grade level. If I had to do it over again, I would not have had my child attend the ceremonies. It was a constant reminder to him that he was going to be in 3rd grade again while his friends moved on. He did have another friend w/ him that was also being retained so they stuck together. But that is the hardest part...the ceremonies b/c the teachers assume everyone is moving on. Hard for the kids who are not. Other than that, not a big deal. This year, my son passed the math EOG first try but failed reading first try. Obviously, holding him back was the best for him. Good luck. I will say it is a very difficult decision for sure. We went back & forth for about 3 weeks.

Take care,

Stephanie-- mom to 7 (soon to be 10!)

 

Thanks Stephanie! We are just really concerned that letting her move on is setting her up for failure. The teacher is dead against us. Her mom agrees with the teacher, then when my husband gave his opinion, she agreed with him. Not much help on her end. We don't go before the waiver board until July so I'm sure we'll be going back and forth between now and then.

 

Whether you decide to hold her back, or let her go on to 4th - I have heard good things about this program. It is offered at JCCC for convenience.

http://continuingeducation.ncsu.edu/reading/

 

Thanks Cleo! I will check into it.

 

Hopefully, if they decide to retain, they won't have the problems we had. We ended up home schooling for a year because the principal didn't agree with retaining.

We are soooo glad we did, this year - Honor Roll!

 

I have thought about homeschooling our son but don't have a CLUE how to get started! His biggest problem is his lack of focus and quite frankly, his give-a-crap factor. He knows how to do the material, he just doesn't want to.

 

That is alot of her problem as well. Even the teacher said so. That and she is so used to having second chances or an easy way out.

 

It's not her fault. It's your Husbands fault. Did he take time to sit down and read with her? Dern. Let her pass. It will be a stigma she will never forget. So sad!

 

Home Schooling is an Organized thing. Look up Home schooling in NC. They are so organized they have organized sports teams etc.

http://nche.com/

 

We have all took time to sit down and read with her! We share joint custody with her mother and I assure you that when she is with us, we take the time to help her. We taught her to read, write, tie her shoes, ride a bike, etc. Please do not judge what you obviously have no idea about. I never said it was her fault. If things are a struggle for her or she has to work a little harder to accomplish something, she gives up. We all know this and she will tell you herself. That is why we have to work with her everyday we have her, including summers and weekends. So what if we let her pass and she truly wasn't ready? Then she struggles through the fourth grade? We have not made a decision yet, because it is hard to know if she truly understands and just doesn't want to do it or if she truly just doesn't get it.

 

End of Grade Testing

I can speak from experience on this one. I too was a 3rd grader and had the same issue with failing the EOG in Reading. I do not do well with testing, but other yearly grades were a.b.and c's. Have you noticed her testing grades during the year? If she is maing a,b,c's then she mostly likely understands the material, but just doesn't to well on tests. I was prmoted to the 4th grade, but over the summer I worked very hard on reading. My mom and I set down with chapter books and she would test me on what I had read. 4th grade was a breeze in reading, I had an A adverage and passed the 4th grade EOG with high scores. I think with a little hard work and comment to give her alittle push over the summer will help alot. I know it helped me and I was glad not to repeat 3rd grade. Just wanted you to consider before you made the decision to hold her back.

 

Now after glorifying all the things you and everyone else have done. I wonder how she feels. After EVEYONE has sat down and done EVERYTHING with her. Now SHE will tell you SHE gives up. Wow. I mean WOW! I guess it's simply ok to just give up. Teaching a kid it's ok to just quit is awesome.
I rest my case.

I shall pray for you and your family.

 

She scored really well on all her tests, all year except for reading. When we met with the teacher throughout the year, she said that my stepdaughter knew the material, but didn't want to take the time to read the selections, the questions, and think about the answer. She has always gotten very good grades, until now. We have been doing extra on the weekends when she is with us all year. We did the same and tested her on what she read. If she felt like doing it, she usually got the questions right. My stepdaughter has said "it doesn't matter what you do, I don't want to do it so I am not going to." That's why we are torn between retaining her or letting her move on. She is used to being retested all year, and her mother always would tell her that she had another chance, so she wouldn't do her best the first time. So whether she learned the material or didn't and whether we promote or retain, eventually, it will catch up with her and she will have to learn, at some point, that there is not always a second chance or an easy way out.

 

If that is what she said to you I would smack her butt! Well...what does matter to her? Take it away until she actually cares about what she is doing and how much people are trying to help her.

Yikes, an attitude like that would make me so stinkin mad!!!

 

We have taken everything from her, at our house and her moms. She is slowly earning her things back. It has been about 3 months. Honestly, she doesn't really play with her stuff. It is a complicated and exasperAting situation with her.

 

Is she depressed? Sounds like you guys might want to consider having her talk with a qualified counselor regarding the giving up, poorly motivated attitude, etc... If a child has everything removed, what have they got to do well for? If everything is taken away, then there's nothing left for the parents to take... Just speaking from professional experience here... Not in any way judging anything you guys have tried in the past. I just read this thread and it strikes me as a child who's having issues with motivation, then you say she doesn't play with anything anyway (loss of interest in activities), etc... Think about it.

I'm usually in favor of retention for the reason Abdulina gave in her post. It usually helps build confidence and give the child a "leg up" for the following year, instead of setting them up to battle uphill from this grade forward. Each child is different though, and only you and her parents can be the judge of what's best for her.

Good luck with it all...

 

Thanks Resident. She is not depressed, she has ADD and ODD. She is on add meds and sees a therapist twice a month. It is not really a loss of interest; there was never any real interest. She will want a toy, but once she gets it, she loses interest. Taking her stuff was a last resort. When a child says to you that she will do what she wants, when she wants and it doesn't matter what you do for punishment, it was all we had left. Spanking nor grounding works. She is happy when she feels like she is the one in control, the one with the upper hand. Her motivation is personal satisfaction. It is a complicated and very involved situation, that has been going on since she was about 6. It will continue, there is no magic pill or magic fix. It is what it is. She is slowly getting better. Sometimes she is the typical 9 year old, but most of the time she is about 23 in a 9 year old body. I don't know how else to explain it. Right now we are just trying to decide whether to let her go to the fourth grade or stay in the third. We deal with the rest as it comes.

 

Oh, this is totally different. ODD is VERY hard to deal with. I have a daughter w/ it. Write me privately if you'd like & I'll share more. this is just the beginning I hate to say it. The defiance will get more in depth. And you're right, there is no pill or behavior mods that will work. Off line I can share with you what we've done. Our daughter is now 15yo. I've been where you are. I wish you all the best. Again, I'll share with you what we've done over the years offline or privately if you'd like.

Take care,

Stephanie-- mom to 7 (soon to be 10!)