A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine." Bartender, "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before." Pirate, "Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now." Bartender, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?" Pirate, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really." Bartender "What about that eye patch?" Pirate, "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them chit in my eye." "You're kidding," said the bartender, "you lost an eye just from bird chit?" Pirate, "It was my first day with the hook." Craig
.....and then the bartender asks the pirate "why do you have a steering wheel attached to the front of your pants?" pirate says " I don't know, but it's driving me nuts"
