A Question For The Ladies

Discussion in 'Discussion Group' started by Clif001, Nov 10, 2011.

  1. Clif001

    Clif001 Guest

    I'm thinking about re-proposing to my first wife who I've gotten back together with. I've tested the waters, and she seems to indicate the answer will be yes when I do officially pop the question.

    Getting to the question...

    The economy has been lousy to me for the past few years, so that the ring budget right now (and for the foreseeable future) is pretty tight. Things are looking up, though. I picked up a couple of contracts, the last of which turned permanent and I'm very much in demand by the various departments.

    I do want to get a nice ring, but really can't afford the $300 to $400 (or more). I also don't want to get a ring on credit just on the outside chance that the economy takes another nose dive and it ends up getting returned (or repossessed).

    So, here's the question...

    Would CZ, but real (white, what she prefers) gold be an acceptable ring to you? I'm not talking about an obvious fake (like a dime sized rock), but something that's about the size of half carat or so. If so, should I tell her it's CZ, or let her believe it's a real diamond?
     
  2. shar824

    shar824 Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't let her believe its real, I think you should tell her it is a CZ if that is the route you decide to take. Be honest about it from the get go, she will understand the circumstances.
     
  3. sassymom

    sassymom Well-Known Member

    what about doing another stone that is real with the intent to buy her another diamond when the funds are there. I would accept something like that. You can usually get a nice Ruby or Sapphire with some diamonds on the side for a decent price..
     
  4. kaci

    kaci Well-Known Member

    i agree, these days Rubies, Sapphires, Emeralds, etc., are all acceptable for engagement rings and some people really prefer them. Me personally, i would much rather have a Sapphire over a CZ any day.
     
  5. KellBell

    KellBell Well-Known Member

    Don't lie about it for starters. I would think a imitation diamond would be acceptable. It would for me. There are some really pretty diamonoids (thats what I call them) out there these days, set in real metals (white gold, yellow, sterling).
     
  6. Clif001

    Clif001 Guest

    She loves emeralds (her birth stone), but I have gotten her several emerald rings in the past (including an anniversary ring that she still wears).

    I don't want this to be just another ring.
     
  7. sassymom

    sassymom Well-Known Member

    just think in terms of investment, if you get something that can be added to with another set, then you are just adding to it :) or another stone that she can keep and pass down to someone else! just a thought but I do understand!
     
  8. kdc1970

    kdc1970 Guest

    DH gave me a gorgeous "Journey" necklace a few years ago made from white sapphires. Most people assume they are diamonds unless I make a point to say otherwise. Same look, much less expensive and I won't croak if I lose it.
     
  9. JenniferK

    JenniferK Well-Known Member

    Clif...

    IMHO..

    Don't buy CZ. Find another stone that she likes and buy that as her ring. She's already had one ring from you. It's not the diamond that's important, it's the thought behind the ring.

    When I was in Guatemala this summer, one of the guys wanted to buy a ring to propose to his girlfriend. His budget was $150. He wound up buying a simple silver ring with a purple jade stone for her. It was special because he gave up zip-lining with the guys to buy it, and because purple jade is only found in Guatemala. She loved it.

    If you are concerned about the quality of stone you can get for your budget, honestly, come see me. My mother and I used to mine for gemstones, and had several cut. I have a pretty nice collection of cut semi-precious stones, and I'd be more than happy to sell one or two to you at a far less price than you could buy them. Then you can just go pick out a setting.

    If that's not the route you want to take, then I'd say to buy her a small diamond. To me, a very small diamond is better than a large CZ. The pawn shops can probably help you there.
     
  10. dgsatman

    dgsatman Well-Known Member

    The definition of insanity is repeating the same action over and over, and expecting a different result.
     
  11. Clif001

    Clif001 Guest

    The parameters have changed.
     
  12. HidesinOBX

    HidesinOBX Well-Known Member

    Clif, have you tried going up to Main Street Jewelers in Clayton? They are pretty creative up there with ideas. You might find something from an estate sale at a very reasonable price. http://mainstreet-jewelers.com/
     
  13. 4Christ

    4Christ Well-Known Member

    Find a ring, or have one created that just makes your heart squishy when you think about giving it to her. It shouldn't be about the money...

    And if her heart is squishy the same way when you present it to her, then she'll say yes :)

    Its about emotion.

    Best of luck !
     
  14. 4ME2KNOW

    4ME2KNOW Well-Known Member

    Does she still have the ring from your first go around? If so, why not take it to a local jeweler who can modify it somehow. You might come out cheaper that way.

    Same ring, different parameters. ;-)
     
  15. Clif001

    Clif001 Guest

    Remember my reasons for not wanting to get a ring on credit? ;)
     
  16. CanisLupis

    CanisLupis Banned

    The easy answer is .......don't get remarried.
     
  17. tassy

    tassy Well-Known Member

    Definitely don't buy CZ and let her think its real, you don't want to start the renewed relationship with something thats supposed to be so meaningful being a lie. Someday she might want to get it appraised to put on a homeowners insurance policy, or some other reason, and find out the truth.

    What about a nice pair of small diamond studs, my stepfather gave my mom a nice pair of diamond earrings in place of a diamond ring. Later on down the road, those diamonds could be reset in a ring to surround a larger stone perhaps.

    Good Luck Cliff. No matter the size of what you can afford to get her, make it real. She should be understanding and sympathetic to your financial constraints/concerns. If she is willing to give the relationship a second chance, its not just about the size of the diamond.


    ************** ON ANOTHER NOTE ***********

    Purple jade is not found ONLY in Guatamala. I have a very nice purple jade bracelet and Budda charm that my mom brought back from her trip to China. According to the website below, purple jade has been the royal stone of China for over 5,000 years.

    http://www.gemtradenet.com/Education/purple_jade.aspx

    This site also details what province in China purple jade is found in.

    http://www.chinese-zodiac-symbols.com/jade.html
     
  18. SubMom727

    SubMom727 Well-Known Member

    In total agreement with the ladies here -- don't buy the CZ and most important don't "lie" about it -- start this new beginning with trust and honesty. It will make one tinker's dang if the ring is a diamond, an emerald, a sapphire or just a plain band as long as it is given with the love and respect that you have for her. Now having said that -- I would have been thrilled had my DH given me an amethyst to add to my "collection". Diamonds are nice but there may be another stone that she likes better. Just sayin'! Either way -- go ahead pop the question - and may you have a most wonderful life together!
     
  19. JenniferK

    JenniferK Well-Known Member

    Tassy...

    It's not the imperial jade you'd find in China.

    All I can tell you is it's not the same color as the links you posted, and when we visited the Jade factory, they explained that this particular stone had not been located in any other part of the world.

    But anyway, don't wanna hijack Clif's thread..
     
  20. elims

    elims Well-Known Member


    I completely agree. If this woman knows you (which she does, since you married you once before!), she knows you can't afford the big expensive fancy diamond. She'll know what -any- ring means from you. I like the idea of picking out a stone ... her favorite stone, or something that means something to the two of you (stone from month of anniversary of when you guys met? birth stone? Something significant! ) and design a setting. It's not as expensive as it sounds and sure makes it personal and memorable and SO dear to the heart!

    If you can wait a month, there's a gem and jewelry show coming up at the fairgrounds the weekend of Dec 10th ...
     

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