Thought you may enjoy the humor... After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane during the flight. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken. The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some 'actual' maintenance problems submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. P = The problem logged by the pilot S = The solution and action taken by the engineer P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet-per-minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget
Oh, for crissakes, Ken. Just enjoy the friggin humor, will ya? I got it in an email from my Mom. Tell you what...you send what you posted here to her and I am sure she will tell you to blow it out your rear, too. So...to make your smug, uppity self happy...I removed tha part about them not having an accident. Happy, now? Now....back to your bagel and cream cheese.
Oh, for crissakes................. I received something funny that I thought some people might enjoy and you have to find SOMETHING wrong with it just to get a poke in? I thought you just turned 30? Isn't that a little high-schoolish of you?
Maybe...but at least you have a chance of surviving a car accident since you are already on the ground. Thanks for the laughs, blusdrmr. :lol:
Here are the Facts: Which is safer flying or driving? Survival Rate of Fatal Accidents by Decade Decade % surviving 1930s 18 1940s 23 1950s 22 1960s 21 1970s 24 1980s 33 1990s+ 32 Survival rate of passengers on aircraft ditching during controlled flight 60% Source: PlaneCrashInfo.com accident database On a single trip Airliner (Part 121) 0.019 Fatalities per million trips 52.6 million to 1 Odds of being killed Automobile 0.130 Fatalities per million trips 7.6 million to 1 Odds of being killed Commuter Airline (Part 135 scheduled) 1.72 Fatalities per million trips 581,395 to 1 Odds of being killed Commuter Plane (Part 135 - Air taxi on demand) 6.10 Fatalities per million trips 163,934 to 1 Odds of being killed General Aviation (Part 91) 13.3 Fatalities per million trips 73,187 to 1 Odds of being killed Sources: NTSB Accidents and Accident Rates by NTSB Classification 1995-2004 DOT Fatality Analysis Reporting System (FARS) 1995- 2004 Insurance Institute for Highway Safety http://www.planecrashinfo.com/cause.htm
Blusdrmr, Thank you. I haven't LOL'd so hard in a long time. :lol: Hught, How does one survive a fatal crash? Just curious. :? Snuff :wink:
Be very very lucky? :lol: or not be very very unlucky? :lol: :lol: Actually, I believe the reference is to accidents in which a fatality occurred. If every one were killed it would be 100% fatal but if only 1 out of 200 people were killed it would be 0.5% fatal and the average would be 50.25% for the year if there were only the two accidents with fatalities.
Mainly safety devices built into the plane and following flight attendant instructions. There is also a number of web sites that go into the best places to sit for survival in a major crash. Most airlines let you think you can pick your own seats when purchasing your tickets. Personally I feel the odds are so small of having an incident that I choose seats for comfort.
Shucks, darn! While I was having my tooth pulled, I could have asked the dentist to surgically remove my tongue from my cheek, as well. What an opportunity lost... :wink:
