what to do. Okay, need some opinions. By now on here most know all my kids have been adopted internationally. Alright, my 3rd grader comes home not so happy. Turns out, teacher gave them a baby picture project to do. He's not stupid, he knows we have NO baby pictures whatsoever, & more than that, the kid really really, really does not care to remember what it was like when he was little. Rough childhood is an understatement in his case. This has congered up some bad memories. He's come home today, said he felt sick(no, he's not sick) & slept until a little bit ago. So, the project is where the kids paste a baby picture or one where they are young & then write a few lines for other kids to guess who they are. Obviously, everyone would guess his picture easily b/c it looks just like him now. I know that the teacher thinks this is an innocent project & I do NOT expect her to change it. But knowing ahead of time he was adopted, I truly wish she would have spoken to me first & we could think of how he can do something else but similiar. So, now I'm dealing w/ a traumatized child who is upset b/c everyone will guess his picture...URGHHH. Any thoughts??? I want this to be special for him to yet not to feel so singled out. I'm going to ask the teacher tomorrow but also want ideas of what I might be able to suggest to her for him to do. Any version I think of so far will still be too different & make him stick out. Sometimes it stinks being a parent. I don't expect rules to be changed for my kids & want to make that point clear. I would never ask a teacher to change an assignment for the entire class. I'm just asking how I can modify this to fit my son's unique situation that I'm sure has come up before. So far, he's the only child that has had to do this of my kids. New territory for me. Thanks for any suggestions you might have. Stephanie--mom to 7
How old was he when you adopted him, could you use a picture like of the day you got him?* what about not using a picture of all and have all his questions about him be about the adoption, that would be a great way for his friends to learn more about him and about adoption.. I would try to focus on the good of this and not the negative if you can stay positive my he will too!!Good Luck
That's an awesome idea!! Maybe you could work it something out like that? Or maybe just a generic photo with the questions?
Thanks. We're trying to be positive. I can't(well, won't) give details on here but toddler/childhood is something he cares NOT to remember at all. Just suffice it to say, you would cry if you read about his past. We never talk about it unless he brings it up. So the whole thing in general is just not a good idea. I was thinking something of what/ who he is now & what he likes to do nowadays. That may work. Don't know. But then that would be totally different from everyone else. He came home at almost 4yo & pics look just like he is now. Cute! I will discuss w/ teacher & get her perspective as well. Keep ideas coming that I can give to teacher tomorrow. Stephanie--mom to 7
I was hoping there might be a way to "reverse age" a picture, but Nev said he doesn't know of any software that can do that. What about a baby picture of someone of his nationality, similar coloring and features? Even though it's not really him, it might look as much like him as most baby pictures look like the kids they grow up to be. I know in going through old family pictures, it's often a puzzle to try to figure out who's who in the baby pictures.
what about if he draws something that represents something good about his childhood or do like a page with all his favorite things, colors, books, movies etc..* or even if he drew his own baby picture like a self portrait!
actually you can do it but its a bit of expensive http://www.rainbowkids.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=519
Yeh, $100 for school project is out--LOL. But, I could have my oldest son (bit of an artist for sure!) try to regress him. Never thought of that. Think I'll have him do it. He did a baby portrait of my other son & it turned out fantastic! He did have a photo to go on though. Great ideas, keep them coming. Stephanie--mom to 7
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/crafts/memory/one more link for you it has some ideas!* I really like the self portrait as a baby and then a now picture!!
I like this idea too. For a picture, maybe could do a frame with a question mark in the middle. To where the kids learn about the adoption is a great idea also. They learn about a different kind of family where the kids are not all blood related but that it doesn't make them any less of a family. I have great faith that it will turn out great!!!
Abdulina, I am so glad you told us about this situation. I'm going to be a teacher soon, and it helps to know what projects might not be good to use. It would also help for me to know a little more of each child's history before I'd assign something like that.
idea?? I'm not sure how you feel about this, or how HE would feel about it, but I assume that as you put it...the past would make us cry...it certainly has been a tragedy and heartbreaking. However, you sound like just the angel he needed, and for that I say you already have the picture you need... I'll explain... We're all born babies out of everything...childbirth, setting foot into the real world, moving out of our parent/family home, marriage, etc. Apply it where you need to...you get the picture. From the way it sounds, no matter his age or situation, your first photos of him are his "baby pictures," because this was his "birth" and freedom from the past. No one ever truly forgets tragedy, but that doesn't mean that we don't have to put it aside from all of the positive that can and probably has come of this. I've always been told that childbirth is a miracle. But it is the "birth" that is the miracle. It's the idea that something so small yet so AMAZINGLY precious gets to happen right before our eyes. You have given him a second birth. You secured him with love that cannot be replaced by a baby bottle or a pacifier. He may have taken his first steps or uttered his first words somewhere else in some other lifetime, but I know that he will have much bigger, and happier, milestones to explore and achieve. And, aside from everything else, I'd love to personally say "thank you" for saving your son from his past and showing him that love is much bigger than anything. You are such a blessing and all of your kids are very fortunate to have you to open doors and showing them the magic of a beautiful childhood.
Speaking as an adopted child..... Find a photo of the day you brought him home, use that. It was his "birth" into your family, and I don't know a single teacher that wouldn't appreciate that.
spoke w/ the teacher & she was really nice about it. Turns out this is the first year she's ever attempted something like this. She said she never even thought about it & that there might be some kids that do not have baby pictures. So, we both learned a little. Anyhow, we've decided to have him out of the room when they are discussing about being babies & such just due to the sheer trauma it would cause him. As for the project, we're going to draw something, maybe an airplane or something to that effect, and he can explain how he got into our family. It will be a bit different but will actually even open up doors I think for him. He doesn't mind talking about his adoption so this should be fine. Thanks for all the suggestions, advice, etc. on this project. It was indeed helpful. Thanks to all forthe private emails. Some extremely touching. Your kindness hasn't gone unnoticed. Now, to get busy on this thing. Have a wonderful Labor Day Weekend everyone! Definitely more at ease about things now. Stephanie--mom to 7
I could not agree more with this and could not have said it better! I too have tears from reading this.
