Darwin awards

Discussion in 'Discussion Group' started by CraigSPL, Jan 24, 2011.

  1. CraigSPL

    CraigSPL Well-Known Member

    Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.


    Here is this year's glorious winner:

    1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James
    Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

    And now, the honorable mentions:

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger..

    The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't
    discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious headwounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit..

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [Hmmmmmm. If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape...

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    9.. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
    demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast...

    The man, frustrated, walked away.
    [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

    In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
     
  2. Hught

    Hught Well-Known Member

    Always funny, most are old, the Circle K one was old in 2007
     
  3. Abdulina

    Abdulina Well-Known Member

    I love the RV one. I was cracking up reading that while thinking disgusting at the same time. I look forward to reading these every year. Thanks for sharing.

    Stephanie-- mom to 7
     
  4. nsanemom22

    nsanemom22 Well-Known Member

    Oh, that last one! :ack:
     
  5. Hught

    Hught Well-Known Member

  6. Ima Sheltie

    Ima Sheltie Well-Known Member

  7. Hught

    Hught Well-Known Member

  8. CraigSPL

    CraigSPL Well-Known Member


    But he looks cool doing it......LOL
     
  9. Ima Sheltie

    Ima Sheltie Well-Known Member

    So I was talking with my neighbor earlier and he was telling me his house was broken into yesterday around lunch. They lost a gun, a couple computers, and a ton of jewelry.

    Lucky for them their nephew dropped his cell phone to make it easier to figure out who broke in.
     
  10. Hught

    Hught Well-Known Member

  11. Rockyv58

    Rockyv58 Well-Known Member

    Pretty much I have heard all of those before over the years. What I like is there is a show on Spike called '1000 ways to die' shows how stupid people are taken out of the gene pool
     
  12. Hught

    Hught Well-Known Member

  13. Hught

    Hught Well-Known Member

  14. Hught

    Hught Well-Known Member

  15. Hught

    Hught Well-Known Member

  16. Hught

    Hught Well-Known Member

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