Ok I am at my wits end and decided to see what other parents do about this. My 9 yr old doesn't like certain foods - for example green bean casserole which I made over the weekend. My dh thinks he needs to eat EVERYTHING that has been cooked. My dh yells and said either eat or go to bed. I am just the opposite I believe that if he doesn't like it after one bite then fine don't eat it but eat the rest of the food on the plate. I wouldn't want someone to tell me I had to eat something I didn't like. Parents what have you done with your child that doesn't like something.
My rule...I cook, if you like it you eat it (but I'm not fixing anything else), if not then fix something yourself.
I agree that kids should not be forced to eat something they don't like. However there are two points to be made. 1. I'm not going to cook something special for them. If they don't like the food I prepared, they can make themselves a PB&J sandwich. But we will wait for them to join us at the table. 2. A lot of times kids declare they don't like something when I know for a fact that they have never tasted it (of course 90% of taste is smell, so I can understand liver or boiled cabbage). They must at least taste it. And not just sticking out their tongue. A spoonful will do.
Mine have to try at least a bite before claiming not to like it. If they do not eat well at meal time they may have only fruit or yogurt if they claim to be hungry later.
Whenever my wife and I cook we always make something w/in the meal that one of the kids like. They have no excuse. If they decide not to eat then they dont but we will not fix anything later. When they are reminded of that they usually eat what is there. I have a relative that will not eat at family functions. There is food there that will make you hurt yourself, but all his life his parents have given in to him and to this day he will take himself a frozen pizza to make. The boy is in high school now.
Mealtime can be such an important family time, why ruin it with a battle of wills between parents and children? Certainly children should taste any new food before claiming not to like it, and parents should not be expected to prepare something special if the kids refuse to eat what's on their plate. But how do you really want your children, when they are grown, to look back on family mealtime?
When my DH & I cook we make one food along with our meal that we know our 5 year old will eat. We also expect him to try new foods and if after one bite he doesn't like it then fine just eat the food you do like. And if he doesn't eat any of the meal we fixed then he gets a PB&J sandwich, cause I'd rather have my child eat something instead of going to bed hungry.That's just us though. Thankfully our 9 year old tries and usually likes the new foods. :wink:
I have a one bite rule and he will usually take that one bite but he always makes this ugly face. I already knew he didn't like green bean casserole but knew he liked everything else. I made it because the rest of us likes it. I remember when I was a kid I was forced to drink a huge cup (the large plastic hardees cup) of apple juice. To this day the smell of apple juice makes me want to throw up and when my kids were babies it was so hard for me to give it to them. Funny thing is my 9 yr old loves apple juice and I am always buying it. I believe dinner time with the family is very very important and that is why i am sick of the fighting when it comes to dinner time. So in my opinion like I said - eat what you do like and but I won't make a special meal for one picky eater.
Mine only eat what they like. My daughter is fustrating. Since getting her license 2 years ago, now doesn't like much of what I cook anymore and would rather go get fast food. I stopped arguing about it and leave her alone, I know she won't starve. I just don't cook much anymore because it isn't worth it. One day they will wake up like I did and realize how good healthy eating really is! And how good it really tastes!
Gee, I don't know. Maybe a time when the parents kowtowed to the children? Every household has (or should have) rules the children must follow. You can't let the kids have their way just so they will have pleasant memories.
I don't think that's what I said, and I certainly did not mean it that way. I believe I restated the same rules many others replying to this question have stated, and gave a reason for having reasonable rules rather than turning every meal into a battle of wills. Edited to add: In fact, how is what I said different from your first reply in this thread?
I agree with you Cliff. Someone has to be the parent. New foods are exceptions. But if they turn down something I know they like and have eaten it dozens of times then they will either go hungry or a plate will be made and put in the frig. It can be warmed up later if it is not too late. Circumstances vary and sometimes its best to bend but not break. The child has to know that there are rules but also not feel like they are in the military.
Foods- AUGH!!! From Day One (Well, before DS was born) we (The ADULT Parents) agreeded that we are Not a "Short Order Grill". What we cook is what we eat. DS knows that we cook good stuff & we eat well. He eats everything- I mean everything. Anywhere we go we try new foods, Chinese, VC foods, German, Spanish, Indian, etc... We have not had any issues, as it was a known agreed upon family stance that we eat. Sometimes DS will only EAT a very small bit, at those times we has to stay at the table with the family for FAMILY TIME untill the adults are done with the meal. No 2 bites & run off to play.
At daycare they tell the kids to take a "no thank you" bite. If you don't like what you are having, take a no thank you bite and move on to the next thing on your plate. As adults, we don't eat foods we don't like. So don't force your kids to eat. Before I cook dinner I always ask my kids and husband what they want and go from there. There's always something someone likes on our plates.
Right, that's another important part of family mealtime. I just think forcing kids to eat creates all kinds of problems. There's a big difference between forcing a child to clean his plate, and requiring him to at least taste everything on his plate. Mealtime is much better used for discussing everybody's day, what's going on in each person's life, sharing conversation and companionship and building relationships.
I remember reading somewhere that it takes several tries at eating a new food to develop a taste for it unless it's something really sweet. Our rule is that you must eat three bites of any vegetable. After a year of eating a few bites of it every other week or so, my oldest two children have decided asparagus is better than broccoli! They have also realized that spinach, cauliflower, and steamed cabbage are good to eat. (This is especially good since one of the boys became a vegetarian about 18 months ago!) My daughter still doesn't like potatoes unless they are fried, but she did eat her mashed potatoes yesterday! The point? Don't make it a battle. Explain they need it to be healthy and strong. Give small portions (2-3 small bites). Encourage them to "eat it first and get it over with" if you need to. I found a little lemon pepper, cheese, or garlic butter drizzled on top helped them to taste it.
I agree with most everyone else's posts.... if you try to force anything on a child, it will usually become a battle. Set the rules ahead of time and tell them they need to comply, maybe reward them for complying with a dessert they like or a favorite story etc after meal time. Children should not be "bullied" into eating something he does not like (or anything else for that matter). :roll:
Itsme~ Suppertime is so rushed nowadays. It seems to be the only time we're close to being in one room together lately. While food is not a chosen battle, I do have rules that are accepted now and I don't get any grief over them anymore. Here's how it works in my house.... Little One has to take one bite for how ever many years old she is. I started that when she was 4. The Peds told us it takes a few bites to really know if a food is palatable (sp?) to you. At 4, that was ok, and the bites were smaller. Now, at 9, it's more of a challenge for her. Instead of counting bites, she usually just sinks in and eats it all. Of course, Mommy also only puts the amt on her plate that would equal that number of bites anyway for stuff that's new or she's not quite sure of :wink: Having said that, she's not a picky eater. Loves fruits and veggies, LOVES fish. She'll eat chocolate and sweets but isn't a big sugar fan. She loves green beans, but not the casserole. I don't like it either so don't make it. When we're visiting friends tho, I make sure to eat some and dish her up a tidbit as well. She'll eat it as a sign of respect for the cook. Frogger
