Can anyone tell me what is the proper way to get a divorce in North Carolina. Do you have to wait a certain amount of time and still live with the perv*rt and suffer more.... also is there a good marriage counselor to see, Not to save the marriage but to make everything that has happened more understandable?/ Thanks....
Can't help on the counselor part, but in the State of NC you have to live apart (be seperated) for one year before filing for Divorce. It's a tough road to to travel, no matter if you are the one initiating or not, so I wish you best of Luck.
I would recommend an Individual Counselor/Therapist - if it is not marriage counseling. Basically just open up your provider booklet and start going - if you don't click - move on down the line to the next one.
Clayton Counseling - 359-9070 http://www.claytoncounseling.com/ You should seriously go talk to someone.
Divorce papers KTBailey is correct, you have to wait 1 year before filing papers. Do them yourself and they are inexpensive. There is a template and you type the exact wording except the items that you change for your situation. You make 2 copies and send one to the other party via certified mail. Take the certified signature to the Courthouse and they will assign you a courtdate. Show up in court, tell them you haven't had "relations" with your spouse and a few other things you swear to and your done!
I would say given the tone of the post and the question that this person has passed the counseling point. My wife and I are getting ready to divorce. Best to do these things swiftly and as pleasantly as possible. Turn off your heart, your emotions, your negative feelings. step outside the situation and pretend that you're watching other people do it and think of the smartest way to get out with the least amount of financial pain. Once the marriage is over, the overriding concern needs to be for financial practicalities. Don't ask for too much, don't give too much. In the long run, lose a small battle to win the larger war, which is to live as comfortably and pleasantly as possible.
You do not have to live with him, you have to move out or move him out. You do need to live "separate and apart" for one year. If there are children, you should see a lawyer and get the custody and child support issues settled as soon as possible. If there are no children and no property, then you do not need a separation agreement. Just get out of the situation as soon as possible, do what you have to do to keep yourself safe, and after a year, you can get a divorce.
I tend to disagree on the not needing a separation agreement, just because it makes thing much simpler as to when the division happened and things can change in a year. For example, you win the lottery and he now has claim to part of it because you were married and used marital assets in the purchase of the tickets.
Right, of course it's always wise to get everything nailed down, and all the i's dotted and t's crossed. And of course I'm in favor of full employment for lawyers. But it's a common misconception that it's necessary to have a separation agreement to get a divorce based upon one year's separation, so I was addressing that without really stating it.
Talk with someone. It definitely helps. Here's someone I would recommend: Dr. Norris at Central Carolina Counseling. He sees people in Garner, Holly Springs and (I think) Raleigh, so you have days to choose from depending on where you are. The number is: 772-9371. Leave a msg if you don't reach anyone. You will be called back. As for the rest of it, get out or get him out ASAP. Take to heart that a separation agreement might still be a good thing without kids. Mark the calendar, day by day, see the therapist, find new friends and hang in there. It's going on 6 1/2 months for me. My 4042 buds have been great for me when I needed to talk or just hang out. Frogger
As someone who got screwed in a divorce, it's best to talk with someone and do most of the paperwork yourself. My pro bono attorney was also probably the secondmost ignorant person in Atlanta (at the time, my ex-wife was number one.) I agree with Steve, turn off your emotions. Emotions just get in the way during a divorce. Things will get better, just don't give up the farm... Boo
Cleo is right. If you're not trying to save the marriage, marriage counseling is not what you need. (Although arbitration may be a good idea.) Individual therapy can be very helpful when you are going through a divorce. I highly recommend it. If you call Johnston Co. Mental Health Center at 989-5500 between 8:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m., one of the therapists on the Access Team can give you information on all the service providers in your area who can provide this service. With that information, you can make an informed decision on which provider fits best for your situation (including your therapy needs and your financial/insurance situation). (Someone mentioned Cl;ayton Counseling, and they one of the places I would recommend, but there are several others in the area.) Best wishes for you weathering the storm, Snuff
Steve, looks like our ranks are getting stronger...wonder how many newly-separateds we have here.... Frogger
