FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required. The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door: TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS: (1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't smoke or drink, (7) don't want to wear your clothes, (8) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...
Code for the cool face is [noparse]8)[/noparse], it always does that unless you use a noparse command or some other workaround, like putting a space between the 8 and the ). 8)
i love it, so much i copied and pasted and sent it to some more of my friends who are the proud parents of 4legged kids:lol:
I have posted this on pretty paper, written in nice fancy script prominantly on my refrigerator door when I have company over that is, shall we say, less pet friendly. Since everyone gathers in my kitchen it is the the most visible place & I dont have to say a word, it always gets read out of curiousity of "what is that on the front of the refrigerator door?" MY DOGS LIVE HERE My dogs live here, they're here to stay. you don't like pets, be on your way. they share my home, my food, my space this is their home, this is their place. You will find dog hair on the floor, they will alert you're at our door. they may request a little pat, a simple "wait" will settle that. It gripes me when I hear you say "just how is it you live this way? they smell, they shed, they're in the way.." WHO ASKED YOU? is all I can say.. They love me more than anyone, my voice is like the rising sun, they merely have to hear me say "C'mon kids, time to go and play" Then tails wag and faces grin, they bounce and hop and do a spin. They never say "no time for you", they're always there, to GO and DO. And if I'm sad? they're by my side and if I'm mad? they circle wide and if I laugh, they laugh with me they understand, they always see. So once again, I say to you come visit me, but know this too.. My dogs live here, they're here to stay. you don't like pets, be on your way. They share my home, my food, my space this is their home, this is their place..
