I'm Glad I Am A Man I'm glad I'm a man, of that I am proud. I'm not at all bitchy, annoying and loud. I won't try to squeeze in jeans three sizes too small. My credit card is still good when I leave from the mall. I won't drink Diet Coke, or eat a rice cake. There's no silicone here, my chest isn't fake. My face isn't "lifted," my bra isn't stuffed, I do what's proper, I leave the toilet seat up. It doesn't take hours to fix up my hair, I don't see the need to use bathrooms in pairs. I won't throw a tirade and then blame PMS. I'm a man and I'm glad I can deal with my stress. I have intuition, I never get lost. I share household duties, I won't try to be the boss. I'm a man and with that comes a high sense of class, I won't wear a swimsuit that rides up my ***. I won't cry like a baby when Bambi gets shot I don't make up false places, like the infamous "G-spot." I won't go out at night in a black mini-skirt, then slap anybody that just tries to flirt. You crazy women scare me, you have lots of gall, To make Lorena a hero for hacking off balls. Yes, I'm pleased to be male and I don't mean to gloat. I'm sorry you don't understand how to work the remote. I'll never tease you, or play hard to get. If I don't get my way, I won't throw a fit. I don't worry much about breaking a nail, My face without makeup isn't distorted and pale. I'll never say one thing while meaning another. When life gets real hard, I won't run to my mother. In order to understand just who I am; You need a Y-chromosome; it's what makes you a man
