Any ideas for a temp nanny for just a week? We used Trio Services back in Oct. for a week and they were excellent. The trouble this time is we have shorter notice. We are to leave in 13 days to Russia for international adoptions. So, we need to find care for our 5 children (ages 6 to 13) for Nov. 15th to Nov. 21st. My in-laws will care for them from the 21st to the 25th. So, any ideas? I've posted on 40/42 and attempted Craigslist but did something wrong cause it didn't post. I've also asked friends to help find a service or give suggestions. Our problem is this is not only short notice but so close to the Thanksgiving Holiday. Thanks in advance for any ideas you may have. We live in the 40/42 area off Cornwallis. Background checks and references would obviously have to be part of this. Take care,
Okay ... I just have to ask ... and am guessing others are curious, too. Why would you leave 5 children 24/7 with someone you don't even know...while you are out of the country? If I'm reading this right it will be the 2nd time in less than two months. Do you not have friends or church members to help out OR is there a reason they will not watch your children? Sure a background check will tell you if he/she has prior convictions ... but that might only tell you she has never been caught. -------------------- Just noticed you posted about adopting a 4 year old deaf child and mentioned "All 7 of our children are special needs but this is one area we are totally not up to speed on. " WOW! That is an awesome responsibility for a sitter to take on.
Is it necessary for both parents to go to Russia. I read alot about adoption cases where one parent stayed behind to take care of the rest of the family while one parent goes off to get the child. Especially when you have 5 kids with special needs...you may need more than one nanny. I wish I could help out but I have 2 of my own to take care of. Best of luck Ro
NCMOM, You asked why we'd leave them while we went out of the country. Well, we have absolutely no choice. All of our children are internationally adopted. We are leaving to go back to Russia to adopt two more children. We can not possibly afford the airfare or for them to miss school while we go to pick up their brother and sister to come home. Hence, why we have to find a sitter or nanny. My in-laws are older and can only take them for a short time. My parents don't really acknowledge that they have grandchildren b/c ours are adopted & though we've asked several times, they refuse to help out. A good chunck of our friends have offered to split the kids up. Due to their needs, they MUST be kept together for their mental well-being. Has to do w/ being brought up in an orphanage. Splitting up is NOT a good idea. We originally had care lined up but they moved our court date up as of last night b/c one of our children is medically not doing well and needs to get home ASAP for medical treatment. So, now we have a very short time to find child care. I hope that all explained it. I won't get into all our childrens' issues b/c I do not like to discuss it publically for all the world to see. I feel they deserve privacy and no one really knows of their issues except teachers and very close friends. All in all, you would never know if you met them. Great kids and well behaved I am told from others. We are very proud of who they are and what they've accomplished inthe short time they've been w/ us. Most nanny services don't want their nannies taking on 5 kids. The last service did it and they had absolutely no problems w/ any of the kids. Got great compliments so was very relieved. It was the first time we left them all (all 5). So no, I don't want a stranger. But any nanny service is essentially a stranger to us. That's why I'm asking for recommendations on here from people who may know someone. Already had someone respond privately w/ a great reference and will be checking her out tomorrow. Yes, we'd prefer to have friends and family do this but it is NOT an option. We've tried. Plus, my neighbors do check in quite a bit while we are gone. We remain in contact via satellite phone or phone from the hotel. Lots of people would be checking in. So that makes us feel a little better. We hate leaving the kids behind but know we have to in order to get our other children home. I thank you all once again for any suggestions. Our circumstance is a little different than most looking for a sitter. Take care, Stephanie.
Ro, Not possible for one parent to travel. Only one parent has to travel on trip one to Russia. But the law states both parents MUST appear in court and that takes place on trip 2. We've already asked if there is anyway to get a POA for this case. Answer is NO. Russia is really cracking down and there are no exceptions. Even w/ a medically fragile child. CRazy, huh?
Ooppss, I hope I didn't sound snobby on my last post. What I meant was that If I didn't have my 2 young ones ...1 and 2 year old...I would def help you out. Best of luck Ro
I hope my curiositiy is not to intrusive or offensive ... why international adoptions when the U.S. foster care system is flooded with special needs children waiting to be adopted?
If you were not trying to be offensive, you would have just asked "why international adoptions?" and left off the "when the US foster care system is flooded....." You're asking her to defend her choice when she shouldn't have to. A child that needs a home is a child that needs a home. No matter where they come from.
Each persons choice is a personal choice... the american adoption system has flaws. The birth mom can change her mind, imagine having a baby taken out of your home after falling in love. Yes, you know you have that waiting period, but let me tell you from experience, it hurts to high heaven. To have your son crying "Mommy, where are they taking OUR baby??" that will never leave your mind and you will hear it in your dreams... Our last attempt (through foster) lasted over a year. Not to mention the US makes it so so very unaffordable. I was told one time by an adoption lawyer, solicit your church, refinance your house... well even if we could come up with the $30,000 they wanted, we would then not be able to afford to feed the child. There are so many children that need homes, I wish they would make it more affordable. I dont mind jumping through their hoops of background checks and home inspections etc... I am VERY glad those are in place, but some of the rest is ridiculous. Good luck Abdulina, go get your babies!!! :lol:
Johnston county needs foster families terribly. We have so few, and so many children that need it.... the poor kids have to go to other counties which mean they have to change schools etc. It would be an easier situation for them if they could stay local and still see their friends and teachers.
This is a subject that is near and dear to my heart. I have very strong feelings about international v/s domestic adoption, but the moral of the story is that it is about the kids, period. I recognize how difficult it can be to adopt domestically, but look at all the red tape involved in international adoptions as well. The biggest difference with the two is that once you get that kid on a plane, they're yours. They Russian/Chinese/whatever government isn't going to come back and grab them because a birthmother changed her mind. People have to do what's best for their families, but I encourage you if you're considering adoption to get all the facts and talk to families who've done both before making any decisions. By the way, it's National Adoption Month!
Easier on who? We have adopted 3 times in the US. 1st time was a breeze. 2nd time birth mom changed her mind and kept her baby, 3rd time the child was older and taken from the home because of abuse and neglect. In theory, adopting a foster child seems wonderful. However one must realize every child has issues. Add an abuse/neglect issue to that, and the issues are escalated. As long as one is made aware and given full disclosure, everyone benefits. When we applied to adopt via foster care, we were told in no uncertain terms the goal of foster is to reunite the birth family, as that is what's best for the child. Like anything else, I'm sure sometimes it is, and sometimes it is not. I believe wherever and however you adopt is your own private decision. It just makes my heart happy that someone is willing to step up to the plate and help another child in need. And, to address the cost issue...yes, it's a lot of money for private adoption, but that $ can be handled. There are grants available ( http://members.shaohannahshope.org/site/PageServer?pagename=ado_home ) and the like. If I can provide any more info on adoption, pls feel free to email me. (and, abdulina - I fully support you and wish I could help!)
I just volunteered at our church to speak with/help counsel/ or just be an ear for families who are thinking about or touched by adoption. I'd also be willing to speak with anyone who is interested.
Yes, private adoptions are VERY expensive. There is minimal cost to adopting a child through the foster care/state system. I have a friend who just adopted ... after the child's parental rights were finally terminated. Throughout the process they paid her, supplied the attorney, furnished medical care, etc... I recall her saying she will also get some kind of stipend throughout the child's life even though she is legally adopted. I'll have to ask her again what the details are on that.
If the child has special needs, even ADD you can get a monthly amount. If they are over age 5 or in a sibling group you can also get money and the adoption is significantly cheaper (or free). At least that is how it was when we were trying.
I believe I had the priviledge of meeting you at my neighbors child's birthday party a while back ... and again at a PTA meeting where one of your children was recieving an award. I think what you are doing is wonderful. The world is a better place because people like you are in it
Kudos to the comment "system has flaws". I have been keeping a child for now 16 months. She is only 29 months old. Court just granted the mom 6 more months to get it together..even though she is pregnant again with 5th child. All children are in different homes. If she gets them back...thanks to tax dollars...of they would not get to eat!
(sorry to have hijacked again) The last child I had... his mom got married, and pregnant.... she was considered 'fit'. Within two months of getting our baby back (then 5 years old) she divorced and decided to give the baby up for adoption. They are now back to the same life style of moving in with different guys in different states. He started Kindergarten and moved twice already. Yup, that was better than here in a stable loving family. Ok- off my soap box.
