Yeah, I'm a bit of a writer my dang self. I pen mess down when I get a chance. Between changing the oil and pickin my toenails I always find a little something that inspires me. Now I hope to get ya'll into the spirit of Christmas with a Rich the Redneck original. Hope ya'll enjoy. It was the night before Christmas… and all through the mobile home estate Not a mouse was found creeping… cuz we was still awake. Me in my Bass Pro Shop jammies… and ma in her’s too, Had just settled down… for a jaw full of chew. Some stockings was hung… One stained by some beer, Dangled next to the tree… that we put up last year (or was it the year before?) Two presents below… though we should have had more. But our doggy had ate a couple… then threw them up on the floor. The kids was asleep… ‘least I think that its true. They seemed tired from spray paintin’… the overpass on 42. I just peeked in on ‘em… a few minutes ago. The only sound was their TV… Dirty Jobs w/ Mike Rowe. So I tip-toed down the hall… stepped over the stupid cat. Who was sittin’ by the furnace… sniffin out a dead rat. Then my eyes caught her… and I gave ma “that look.” But her nose kinda crinkled… as she picked up her book. I said “Woman listen here… don’t put up no fight. You don’t never read noways… ‘cept in the bathroom each night.” Playfully grabbing for the book… her hair had got plucked And I knew right away… that this redneck was in some serious trouble. So’s I went to bed alone… a bit wounded from battle. When up on the trailer top… I heard a big rattle! I ran into the living room/exercise room/pantry… to see what got rocked Then I seen a fat feller… and my woman lip-locked Could this be for real?... I thought he was a myth. But Ole Santy Claws… gave me the best gift. The boys got a Wii… I got some slim-jims But the best gift of all… He took my woman with him! Rich
