Santa Claus Not Coming To Town?

I have four grandsons. They, as well as their Mom and Dad (my son) are living with me.

The oldest (13) and the youngest (3) are your typical boys. They might get in trouble, but when they are busted, they are contrite and will work to make sure they don't do it again.

The other two (11 and 7), though, are super brats. They talk back to their parents, will be told to do something only to be ignored (and do what they want anyway), and a whole list of other bratty behavior that no parent (or grandparent) should endure. A couple of months ago, when one of them was particularly bratty, he was told that of he didn't straighten up he wasn't going to get to go to the state fair. His response was that he was going because it didn't matter what he did his parents always took him anyway.

And this attitude has been going on since before they moved in (and at some level is one of the reasons they had to move in), so it's not some upheaval that can be used as an excuse.

Have y'all ever seem the movie "Problem Child"? (or "Omen"?) :mrgreen:

Suffice it to say they are definitely on Santa's naughty list and Santa is being informed that these kids are correctly on his naughty list and should not be given any clemency.

But I'm starting to feel a little guilty. The two brats are not getting any better, and they need to be taught, but


So here's a question for y'all...

Has Santa ever passed by your house due to your kid being on the naughty list? Or has Santa ever left coal (or nothing at all) for a naughty one?

Do you know of someone who this has happened to?

What's your opinion on the matter?

 

As tempting as it is, I don't think I could let Santa come for some kids and not others in the same family. I don't think that will get the desired result. I'd try other methods of behavoir modification.

 

Wow! Do you have a direct line to the real Santa?

 

What about buying them some clothes or something useful, not toys though. Then there are presents for them to unwrap, but maybe they would see that good children get toys they asked for and bratty ones don't.

 

I dont know anyone who has done this but.....It's about freak'n time someone stood their ground and kept a promise!! GO FOR IT!! Some kids now days (your grandsons it sounds like) have learned that whatever mom and dad says means nothing and that they are filled with empty promises because people have told them over and over again..."If you are bad you are not going to get ...." Well low and behold most of the time they do get it because it is easier for the parents so they dont have to listen to their kids whine or cry about it. That is not parenting..when I was told to do something I did it because it took only time time of taking my birthday away to realize my parents were not messing around. Now it may sound harsh but who else is going to parent your child/grandchildren? NO ONE... I had a video made last week from Santa to my child and I put him om the "naughty" list and Santa warned him along with myself that if he does'nt start straight'n up in class (talking) that he will have to skip his house, now I did feel bad for a min. that my son started crying that he was not going to get presents for Christmas but I can tell you that he has done 100% better. Someone has to put the fear in children that if they dont do what they are suppose to they are not going to get rewarded. Plain and simple...my thoughts are they are way to many young adults out there they have not been taught the word "NO" and have no idea how to handle rejection in life. I know that there are plenty of really good parents out there so dont take this personal. Just my thoughts!!:lol:

 

Dress like Santa yourself and

give them the present they really need. And it'll shock them into respect (may take many Santa visits)....

The good ol' fashion Santa present would be a whoopin like they never had.

It'll also make them never forget this Christmas :jester:

Good luck. And do know that its not child abuse to spank a child. Nowadays, its not done often enough (the proper way) and people (generally speaking) moan/groan about the way kids act/behave in the world (to their parents/other people, etc).

This grandkids of yours apparently know they rule the roost just by their comment pertaining to the fair. Were they right and went? (Don't recall reading).

I know its hard in the guilt department. But some things gotta be done for the "long term & overall safety" of the child. If family doesn't teach them respect, who will - or can?

 

:iagree:
I do this to my grand kids.

 

A stocking full of coal is needed and deserved. My brother received that ONE Christmas and that was enough. (And he did get presents from Grandparents, Mom, etc...just nothing from Santa.) It was accompanied by a note that explained why, which behaviors needed to be improved upon before next Christmas, etc.

My brother now has a job earning $$$, owns a fabulous house, and is a caring, compassionate man...in other words it did not permanently damage his psyche...it improved it!

My sister and I did receive presents from Santa BTW. We were good little girls!

 

I wouldn't get them anything well "santa" wouldnt anyway. I'm mean like that though.

AND if they haven't had their ***** beat today, I'm available after 3:00 :twisted:

 

I've never let Santa not come all together, but I did go a year or two where socks and underwear were the most glamourous gift they got.

I also say stand your ground and make it noticably different of the good kid gifts and the bad kid gifts.

You have to stand your ground.

 

I agree with Tassy's suggestion on gifts, but let me add that the parents need the coal if anyone gets it. Nothing you try to do will be effective unless and until they are on board and change their behavior towards these children. I admire you for taking them in and trying to be a positive force in the life of your grandkids. This is about more than Christmas, it is about life and they are in for a difficult one if something doesn't change. Good luck.

 

Thanks for ther replies so far...

I should have clarified that, since Santa is not going to leave them anything, we (the grandparents) will be leaving socks and underwear (things they definitely need) with a Santa tag on them. A note listing the issues is a good idea.

 

I understand where some of you are going with this, but I am not going to make Christmas about "punishing" someone. However, I can guarantee you the day AFTER Christmas, those gifts are fair game for using as needed for grounding etc. :mrgreen: :cheers:


I'm thinking about some of my nieces whose sorry excuse of a mother never really made sure her girls got "Santa" on Christmas morning. I can't tell you the number of times my mother and I have scrambled on Christmas Eve. I NEVER want to see that kind of disappointment on any child's face and I sure as heck could not do it on purpose.

Different strokes for different folks. Fairly certain my kiddo won't grow up as an axe murderer, LOL

 

Okay, here's what we did years ago w/ our son. Now granted, ours is on meds but we do NOT let them use that as an excuse in our household. However, it is directly related to some behavior but not all. Well, the one year, everyone got a pile of presents. He received a stocking...with coal and a note. He had to find his presents. At first, when he saw a pile for everyone and just a stocking for him, he literally just sat there for a few minutes. Head hung down in shame. See, he had been warned for MONTHS that bad behavior is NOT rewarded in this house. He opened up the stocking and started crying. At this point, you do feel guilty, btw. However, I told him maybe there is a note explaining all this. He got the note. We read it as he was literally just too distraught. He did indeed receive presents. The note said he was not the good boy Santa knew he could be. And, if this happened again next year, he would indeed just get rocks for Christmas. My kids call them rocks, not coal. Though he received presents, that note was crushing blow to him. And do you know what?! Behavior changed!!! He nor anyone else has ever received coal for Christmas. But do you know that every year since he reminds everyone of what happened to him and to be good. Santa WILL leave you rocks is what he tells them. Now, you can call me mean or what have you but trust me, had you lived w/ him that year, you probably would not have even given him a note. LOL. Yes, it was that bad at the time. NO behavior issues since then w/ him or the other kids. Well, other than normal kid petty stuff. Good luck in whatever your decisions. It's tough some times being the bad guy. But the life lessons far outweigh that.

Stephanie-- mom to 10

 

They only thing you may want to be careful of by buying for the 2 "good" and not the 2 "bad" is this:

While your goal is good, it may have unintended results.... You would hope that the 2 brats would say well we need to straighten out. Instead you may create a hostile backlash.

You may have the 2 brats act out against the other 2, and say they are the special ones and we now are the black sheep...they may harm or hurt the other 2 or do something to "undermine" your faith in the good 2... IE we will bring them down to our level. You may in fact even have the 2 break the others toys...the old well if i didnt get you should either.....

What if you were to wrap "coal, empty soda bottles, handcuffs lol" let them unwrap them with say a note from santa saying you will have a life of this. After that maybe a note from santa that says something along the lines of, my love you believes you can change, and i still want to believe the best in you....

you know a quick tear down, dissapointment and build them back up with a note saying how he thinks they can improve...then in the note tell them to go look for their toys somewhere else.

And if they dont beleive in santa take a pic of your living room, we can ghost in a image of santa like hes in the room but make him see through...like his spirit... we did it so well on our our 11 year old still believes and even took the pic to school...saying santa wasnt real but his spirit is. Hes a pic to prove it.

just be careful not to tear them down...with no build back up. sorry for spelling typed one handed in a hurry.

 

My own children went through a phase where they fought over EVERYTHING. As a result, Santa did not bring individual gifts, but a family gift that required cooperation and helping each other (a tent and other camping equipment...Mom and Dad don't camp with fighting children! Too tempting to use them as bear bait!) The accompanying note explained the meaning of family and what they needed to do to get individual items the next year. Although they still battle occasionally, it's not anything like it once was with the "You're breathing too loudly" type of non-stop fussing.

I can tell you these boys will not get better, just worse, as they approach driving age. The parents need to step it up NOW and enforce all rules and behaviors. (Perhaps the parents need a few DVDs of Supernanny?)

 

agree with steph ... no matter how mad you are at them...if they get a bag of rocks and see their disappointment its going to tear you up.... I'd go with the bag o rock then a note to find their presents....

 

As soon as my children were old enough to understand make-believe, I told them there was no Santa, that dad worked hard to give them gifts and wasn't sharing the credit. They didn't care who delivered the loot, and I think it helped them understand where goodies came from.

They didn't care that there was no Santa. They used their active imaginations for other times, like Halloween.

They also learned dad didn't reward bad behavior. and that gifts were curtailed if they caused hell at home, school or elsewhere. I understand others do differently. This worked for us.

 

I don' t think lying to them is the right course of action.

 

I have to agree with this. The discipline issue has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas...it's a year round problem. All adults have to be on board and agree with rules for this to work, and that may require a private roundtable discussion or two without children present. Then help each other. Sometimes kids act out when they can't find the words to express themselves, and/or they are feeling insecure. I would look at all other options before I would start taking Christmas cheer away.