What kind of mother allows their daughter to become engaged at 14?! My ex-sister in law has lost her mind. Not only that, but she's allowed my niece's boyfriend to spend the night even before this happened!
Are they in SC? I remember a girl (in the 80s) that got married at that age in SC. How old is the guy?
Perhaps your niece is pregnant and SIL thing the engagement makes it ok. :roll: Very sad situation for that 14 year old!
I believe the guy is 16. Not exactly sure. I pray to the good lord above that this child is NOT pregnant.
I was 15 when I got engaged. BF was 16 (he proposed on his 16th birthday). We got married as soon as I turned 18, and we have been married almost 26 years. I was NOT pregnant at the time. We just knew we were meant to be together. We have a fabulous life, a wonderful family and are the best of friends....
if they were meant to be together forever then they will still be together when they are adults. Now they can enjoy spending time together during the rest of their CHILDHOOD. Just my opinion on two complete strangers lives...lol DB's wife
My DH and I met when I was 14 and he was 17 (freshman/senior in high school). Been together ever since, except for a few weekends his freshman year at NC State when he thought he could live without me:jester:. He gave me a promise ring (teeny tiny diamond ring) when I was 15, we got engaged in while I was still in college and he was working down East, married during my senior year of college when he got a better job locally. Married over 20 years now. Two great teenage boys, cat, dog, fish, and a great life. It can happen.
Its not a social norm nowadays, but not that long ago (read: a few decades) it wasn't that uncommon for a 14-year-old girl to marry. My grandmother married at 14 and had the first of seven kids by 15. I mean this with the utmost respect, but I'd simply say that this is the immediate family's business only. We may or may not agree with the decisions made, its not anyone's elses call to make. That said, if there is a threat of a runaway/elope situation, I could possibly see the effort to handle the matter with delicate care. Every situation can't be handled with a heavy hand or tough love.
I think chances are slim to none that things would work out in a marriage of a 14 year old and 17 year old. And that's no offense to those who have different stories, just my opinion and based on my real world experience. They'll have to learn the hard way. I just hope they don't start having kids before they know for sure they have a solid marriage. (That's a good rule for any marriage, no matter the age involved!)
It just bothers me because this is her first ever boyfriend. She hasn't even began to experience "life." Who knows, it could work, but I don't know. She wouldn't even go on vacation with her family who she hasn't seen since Christmas because she couldn't be away from him for 2 days. I'm not knocking other people who have been with their SO since they were young. It's just that this day in time, it's most likely not to happen.
I can see eventually marrying someone you meet you're 14 but what's the rush to get married right now?! If it's meant to be, they could date throughout their teens and get married as adults. My 19 year step-daughter just got married to guy she barely knows. I have my doubts. Maybe she'll prove me wrong. She's very immature, and in many ways is still a kid herself.
speaking of kids, at the very least finish growing up and find your place in life so you can better provide a quality life for a child before you have one still in your your teen years, it may have worked and been easier in past generations but the times we live in now are so very different.
:iagree: I didn't have kids till I was 24 and had been married for 4 years, together for 10 years, and it was hard even then!! My point earlier was that it can work, but patience is the key to it. Neither of us put our lives on hold for the other, nor did we put it in fast forward for fear of losing each other. I'm not sure kids today think that way though!
And that's just not healthy, neither is thinking you have to get engaged at 14 to keep someone around. Who are the grownups in her life who say "ok, you don't have to go on vacay with your family. You're 14, that's old enough to make that decision...."
Past generations got married at 14/15, started having kids a year later cause they needed help on their farm asap, those babies grow up and start working... (that is what they did in my family anyway...)
She'd have gone on vacation if she was mine. At 14, she wouldn't get to make those choices herself (not to mention being engaged & having bf spend the night). :banghead:
