I heard this on XM Comedy yesterday. It was told by Lewis Gizzard: A man is a pro golfer. He used to be a great golfer but now things are in a real downard spiral for him. He can't win any tournaments he's not making any money. He's doing so bad on the pro circuit his wife's left him he's got no cash and even his dog ran away. He decides that on his next tournament if he doesn't at least come in third he's going to give it all up. First day of the tournament, on the first hole, he slices one into the woods. He thinks "Oh damn. Here it goes." So he walks back into the woods to look for his ball and he comes across a frog. Out of nowhere the frog says. "On your grip you need to move your right thumb to the left about a quarter of an inch." The man thinks the talking frog is strange but decides he's got nothing to lose so he takes the frog and changes his grip. Next hole he comes three feet from the hole and sinks it for a birdie. So he takes the frog on tour with him. The frog gives him advice and he keeps winning tournaments. He's making money out of the yazoo. And even his dog came back. Everything's turning up roses. One evening the man and the frog are in a hotel room. The man asks the frog: "You've done so much for me. Is there anything I can do for you?" The frog says "Kiss me." The man responds "Nah, I'm not going to kiss a frog" The frog says "Come on. After all I've done for you? Just kiss me on the back." So the man kisses the frog on the back and it turns into a beautiful big-eye, big bosomed, girl who doesn't look a day over 14. The man's agast. The frog says "Now one more favor. Make love to me!" The man says "Heck no! You can't be over 14!" The girl says "After all I've done for you. You won't even make love to me!" Then the man says: "And your honor. That's how the whole thing happened!"
I miss Lewis, some funny stuff. I lived in Georgia during his peak (which had to be at least two wives).
Miss Lewis Grizzard. Funny man. Notice how when the golfer started winning again, his dog came back but his wife didn't? Now THAT's what I call a good day!:mrgreen: Snuff
