*Parents' Night Before Christmas* The REAL Night Before Christmas (By Parents) 'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse Instructions were studied and we were inspired, in hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required." The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds, while Dad and I faced the evening with dread: a kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's townhouse to boot! And now, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot! We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat - let no parts be missing or parts incomplete! Too late for last-minute returns or replacement; if we can't get it right, it goes straight to the basement! When what to my worrying eyes should appear but 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear, With each part numbered and every slot named, so if we failed, only we could be blamed. More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out, all over the carpet they were scattered about. "Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there! Slide on the seats, and staple the stair! Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand." "Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand." And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact that all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact to keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night with "assembly required" till morning's first light. We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work, till our eyes, they went blurry; our fingers all hurt. The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin before we attached the last rod and last pin. Then laying the tools away in the chest, we fell into bed for a well-deserved rest. But I said to my husband just before I passed out, "This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt. Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring, and not run to the store for one single thing! We did it! We did it! The toys are all set for the perfect, most magical, Christmas, I bet!" Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went, though I suppose there's something to say for those self-deluded- I'd forgotten that BATTERIES are never included! (from Crosswalk.com "You Make Me Laugh")
It was the night before Christmas, when all through the abode Only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode. The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds, While visions of Nintendo and Barbie, flipped through their heads. The dad was snoring in front of the TV, With a half-constructed bicycle on his knee. So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter, Which made her sigh, "Now what's the matter?" With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand, She descended the stairs, and saw the old man. He was covered with ashes and soot, which fell with a shrug. "Oh great!!" muttered the mom, "Now I have to clean the rug. "Ho-Ho-Ho!!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake. Your gift was especially difficult to make." "Thanks, Santa, but all I want is some time alone." "Exactly!!" he chuckled, "I've made you a clone." "A clone?" she asked, "What good is that? Run along, Santa. I've no time for chit-chat." It was the mother's twin. Same hair, same eyes, same double chin. "She'll cook, she'll dust, she'll mop every mess. You'll relax, take it easy, watch the Young and the Restless." "Fantastic!!" the mom cheered. "My dream come true! I'll shop. I'll read. I'll sleep a whole night through!" From the room above, the youngest began to fret. "Mommy?!? I'm scared, and I'm wet." The clone replied, "I'm coming, sweetheart." "Hey," the mom smiled, "She knows her part." The clone changed the small one, and hummed a tune, As she bundled the child, in a blanket cocoon. "You're the best mommy ever. I really love you." The clone smiled and sighed, "I love you, too." The mom frowned and said, "Sorry, Santa, no deal. That's my child's love that she's trying to steal." Smiling wisely Santa said, "To me it is clear, Only one loving mother is needed here." The mom kissed her child, and tucked her into bed. "Thank you, Santa, for clearing my head. I sometimes forget it won't be very long, When they'll be too old, for my cradle-song." The clock on the mantle began to chime. Santa whispered to the clone, "It works every time." With the clone by his side, Santa said, "Good night. Merry Christmas, Mom. You'll be alright."
Clif, My first response was......"Oh, Gee thanks, Clif......" and started feeling guilty. Cause I feel just like that at times. But now that I think about it, it is so true and now I say with affection...."THANKS CLIF!!!! you made me come around full circle!!!!!" Merry Christmas!!!!!!
