Black Boxes in Automobiles: The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had "covertly" funded a project with the U.S. automakers for the past 5 years, whereby the automakers were installing black-box voice recorders in 4-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUV's in an effort to determine in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 37 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh ***** !" Only the states of North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, Missouri, Louisiana, Texas and West Virginia were different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer, I'm gonna try somethin."
'MARIJUANA FILLED FIREWOOD' > > 'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?' > > 'Yes. What can I do for you?' > 'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith. He's > hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he > gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there.' > > 'Thank you very much for the call, sir.' > > The next day, twelve Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's > house. They search the shed where > the firewood is kept. > > Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no > marijuana. > > They sneer at Virgil and leave. > > Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house. 'Hey, Virgil! > This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?' > > 'Yeah!' > > 'Did they chop your firewood?' > > 'Yep!' > > 'Happy Birthday, buddy!' > > (Rednecks know how to git-ER-dun). Sorry to keep posting but i just got this one on email and i thought i would share..... figured everyone needs a laugh or at least a smile
John gets a call from his blonde girlfriend, Buffy. "I've got a problem," says Buffy. "What's the matter?" asks John. "Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges." "What's the picture of?" asks John. "It's of a big Rooster," replies Buffy. "All right," says John, "I'll come over and have a look." So he goes over to Buffy's house and Buffy greets him saying, "thanks for coming over." Buffy leads John into her kitchen and shows him the jigsaw on the kitchen table. John looks at the jigsaw and then turns to Buffy and says, "For Pete's sake - put the Cornflakes back in the Box."
