My H & I will be traveling 500 miles soon to attend a special event for H's Grandmother. Our 4 kids (teens) will be going as well. H want's us to stay with his sister & her husband & their 3 younger kids in their 3br house that is already cramped. I prefer a hotel for our family (as do our 2 teen daughters) simply because of privacy & space issues. H thinks I am being totally unreasonable & refuses to pay for a hotel. There are other family issues (as in all families), but the basic concern I have is cramping us all into a small space when emotions are already running high. Is it totally unreasonable for me to prefer a hotel in such a situation?
Thanks, could not remember when/where I posted this type situation before. Last time, we ended up not going on the trip because I refused to stay several nights in his sister's house & no hotel. Well, that is at least the "blame" I got. Truth is, we just could not do the trip & Christmas for the kids - hotel or not.
As a mom of 2 teens, I vote for the hotel. You can always hang out as long as you want with family but then you can chill out at the hotel without being crammed in with too many other people. Been there, done that, prefer the hotel. I don't know about you, but I'm too old to be sleeping on an air mattress on someone's floor & sharing a bathroom with a dozen people. Did that several summers in a row. A friend has invited my family to join hers at a resort next summer (a one bedroom). That means 4 adults & 4 or more teens sharing. Not happening. We've already decided to get our own room elsewhere but will join them for fun & dinner. Tell hubby to spend the money on a room or 2 adjoining rooms would be even better. Your family will be more relaxed & sociable & isn't that what it's all about.
I was brought up with the packed in, 10 people in a bed!!!! Those were such fun times and our large family still does it!!!! We just have so much fun. For you though, it is only for a short amount of time, cramp in the sisters house and have fun. U sound like you make the tension, relax and enjoy. I am for H. Sorry.
Do whatever it takes to go see Grandma. She isn't going to be around for long. Being crammed in and sharing space makes great memories. Teenagers learn to get along in small spaces. I have two, and when I catch myself accomodating them, I smack myself into reality. It makes them selfish. And lord knows mine are selfish enough just living in the here and now..... Big picture: Grandma is the one who will benefit from seeing her extended family. Life is too short to worry about stuff like this.
I stand by my previous answer. :jester: Seriously though, sometimes you gotta suck it up even if it's not exactly what you WANT to do. Kell is right, Grandma won't be around forever.
Of course you could rent an RV and park it in their driveway. (Think Nation Lampoon's Christmas Vacation)
What if the roles were reversed. What if he wanted to stay at a hotel instead of at your families house? Sounds like you might be a tad bit high maintenance.
I am glad you mentioned that!! How reasonable is that as an option? Are they like super expensive? Gas tanks like really huge? Cheaper to fly than rent an RV?
Maybe it's just me, but if this were my family, there is no way I'd stay in a 3 bedroom house with that many people...4 adults, 7 kids including teens! I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. You said your H wants you to stay with his sister. Did the sister invite yall to stay? I think it would actually be more courteous to stay in a hotel. What if H's grandmother lived somewhere not close to any relatives? Would your H pay for a hotel then?
The whole thing has more to do with a power struggle than where to stay, IMHO. I am not a therapist, nor do I play one on tv.
Sadly, this is part of it. H's family is very much of a "clique" type family. If one person gets upset with you then they all gang up & "circle the wagon" like a pack of wolves. Early in our marriage, I put my foot down and refused to let H's parents smoke around our infants & toddlers. H did not have my back so I got labeled the "witch". But, I was taking care of my babies so I took the heat. The family has always taken "pot shots" at me & worse, since then. I always went and stayed with his family no matter how many people & I always ended up feeling like a rabbit cornered by wolves - any move I made - I was doomed. I got tired of doing that & of having my kids exposed to it. I made the exception this time only because I do love his Grandma & his Aunt & I want my kids to be able to see family too. I am capable of going & making nice for the sake of the situation. I posted out of curiosity wanting to know that even without the difficult circumstances, was it unreasonable for me to object.
