All of us have narcissistic TRAITS. Some of us even develop a narcissistic PERSONALITY. Moreover, narcissism is a SPECTRUM of behaviours - from the healthy to the utterly pathological (known as the Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD). But the "malignant" narcissist consistently manifests at least 5 of these 9 criteria. The DSM IV uses this language: "An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts." So, what matters is that these characteristics, often found in healthy people, appear: 1. Jointly and not separately or intermittently 2. They are all-pervasive (invade, penetrate, and mould every aspect, nook, and cranny of the personality) 3. That grandiose fantasies are abundantly discernible 4. That grandiose (often ridiculous) behaviours are present 5. That there is an over-riding need for admiration and adulation ("narcissistic supply") 6. That the person lacks empathy (regards other people as two dimensional cartoon figures and abstractions, unable to "stand in their shoes") 7. That all these phenomena began, at the latest, in early adolescence 8. That the narcissistic behaviours pervade all the social and emotional interactions of the narcissist. Here are the 9 criteria. Having 5 of these 9 "qualifies" you as a narcissist... Feels grandiose and self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions) Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply). Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favourable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her Arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted. The language in the criteria above is based on or summarized from: American Psychiatric Association. (1994). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, fourth edition (DSM IV). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association.
I hate to say it, but those traits describe my step-daughter :? Maybe partly because she's a teenager.
Q. How many Narcissists does it take to 'change' America. A. One to do the job and another to complain about how he's doing it. :jester::jester:
I agree with this sentiment. I actually lol'd at my son's logic yesterday. I have come to the conclusion, that he really thinks I am stupid - and I should do his bidding for him. He has had some trouble adjusting to HS and playing sports, new neighborhood, new school, etc. He has not been doing his schoolwork. I ask him yesterday, "Did you complete that outline and get it turned in?". "Uh, no. I'll probably use a HW Pass for it". Me - "It was due two weeks ago, why didn't you just use a HW pass back when it was due - and with this type of assignment, a study guide outline for you to use to study for your test - do you think that's wise?" Him "mumble, grumble". A few minutes later (you know, cuz I have amnesia) "Mom, we have to get some printer paper so I can get a HW pass". Me "Really? I thought you had a HW pass?" Him "No, we have to get a pkg of paper for one". Me "Oh, see I was wondering how you had a HW pass, generally those are given to the kids that are completing their work and doing well, not given to the kids that are struggling and turning in their wok late. So... you think I should drive 10 miles to the store, spend 5 dollars on a package of printer paper so that you don't have to complete an assignment that was due two weeks ago?". Him - "yeah". Needless to say, that outline was completed last night.
My son decided at the age of two that anytime he wanted to know something from me that he had to have a second opinion.
You are not alone. DS won't take anything I say at face value either, LOL. I guess it's good to have a skeptical mind, but dern it's annoying. :lol:
Yes, exactly! Or "Hey Mom, what's for dinner?" "blah blah blah" "Oh, OK. That'll work" "Gee, I'm so glad you approve" Part of it I think is we have always been close, it was just us for several years - and now it's just us again that he feels like an equal rather than a subordinate. I remind him constantly, but I swear... :evil:
