Daniel Johnson - Missing. Do you have info?

He was grounded for having lied to me about where he was and for skipping school, so he wasn't able to see her accept at school. I was getting "she thinks you hate her and you're just trying to break us up", "you're just trying to run my life", "I'm old enough to make my own choices", "can't you just let me go move in with her" etc., etc.

I tried telling him that I'd rather the pregnancy hadn't happened, but that my heart's desire was to see him happily married to the mother of his child -- EVENTUALLY. In the mean time, becoming a dad didn't instantly make him old and wise and able to take care of himself, nor did it relieve him of the consequenses of lying to me and doing things he knew he shouldn't do, regardless of whether there was another adult in the picture telling him it was OK; he knew better.

This grounding started the day after my father died. I'd been in Fayetteville taking care of him for several weeks - meanwhile, Daniel, the girl and her mother were taking advantage of the situation. I found out she was "pregnant" the day after dad died when I tried to tell the mom that Daniel was not allowed to see her daughter any more, be at their house, or in their car because I'd discovered she'd been allowing them to drink, have sex, basically whatever they wanted to do, while at her house. She'd said all the right things when Daniel and her daughter first started dating and I'd ask about rules at their house, what was allowed and what wasn't, etc. The normal stuff mom's of dating teens discuss. And I trusted her.

The next week, Daniel was with me every day, much of the time in Fayetteville planning and having Dad's funeral. The following week he went back to school, but could not go anywhere or have use of his cell phone. I started hearing "she's so stressed out because of you mom, she's having cramps and throwing up - you have to let me see her", "she says she can't sleep if she doesn't get to talk to me before she goes to bed, can't I just call her at night", etc. etc. Text messages and voicemails to his phone from her during this time were encouraging him to "stand up for yourself", "stand up for me and your baby", "are you just going to let her run your life", etc.

We were home from Fayetteville for 3 days after the funeral when he went out his bedroom window.

I still haven't had a chance to really grieve for my father. Sorta feel like I've been treading water for months.

 

Oh I'm so sorry!!! This sounds like a mom's worst nightmare...aaarrrggghhhh... I am a mom, however mine are only toddlers at the moment.

Do you mind me asking if dad is around? Is there a support there for you? Can Dad whip his butt......

 

Yes, Dad is home. I tend to be the disciplinarian though, and keep up with the boys coming and going (I have 3 teen boys), etc. My husband goes to bed very early in order to be up very early for work. Some of the "shinanigans" while I was gone went on after making sure Dad was asleep. He did his best while I was in Fayetteville and, in many respects, feels responsible... "if I had only" syndrome. Not realizing that the mom on the other end was allowing these things to happen, and in many cases, facilitating (her daughter doesn't have a DL or car either, so many times when Daniel wasn't where he was supposed to be - she was the one providing transpo!), and the fact that Daniel has always been a very good kid, rarely in trouble, always home on time, we trusted him... and her. When we discovered how bad things were and how deep he had gotten into this "anything goes" lifestyle of theirs, it was almost too late.

And Daniel is the THIRD boy who'se gone through this with them! There are two other mothers out there who know EXACTLY what I'm going through. I've spoken to and compared notes with the previous boy's mother - we can finish each other's sentances. He's a great kid too.

 

Does this girl go to West too? I can't fathom a mother letting/allowing her daughter to behave like this, much less to actually encourage it! What a great example she is for parenting......:evil: I do hope Daniel will make contact with you soon! :grouphug:

 

Yes

 

well now...that the cat is out of the bag, so to speak, I think some of you can see a clearer picture of the lies and such thrown about by her - the girls - family.

Yes the disgraceful girl goes to WEst. But hey..if she was prego - she gets to go to Johnston Community College for free with our tax dollars to finish her graduation requirements - and she can take college courses while she is their too - no charge. Oh and she can also go back to West- no problem - they will excues the absence.. Let's keep the kids that are having kids - educated.....
(place down soap box)
THrow their butts out of school and leave them out! They not only are a disgrace but they influence other girls into thinking it is ok. They bring their babies to school to show them off. The other girls think the kids are so cute. All they are creating is a bigger burden to society and my tax dollars. if my kids messes up I PAY FOR IT or THEY PAY - not the rest of the community.
I know this annoys some people and I am sorry -and some kids legitimately make a mistake - but others - like this winner - bragged about sleeping with boys and never cared who heard it.

She doesn't act like she even missed Daniel- and that gets under my skin - she keeps telling every one he is fine and safe and taking down his posters. - - according to the kids.

 

I am so confused...if these kids know where he is ...why can't the cops forced them to tell them since the kid is still a minor.

 

Im really starting to get sick of this ****...

Pardon my language, but I've known the girl you idiots have been bad mouthing going on almost 4 years now and none of the crap you are saying is accurate because you are only seeing one side of the story. She has been calling or messaging me every week since this happened and for those of you who have your heads so far up Daniel's Mom's @$$ that you can't see sunlight, the girl does care for Daniel. She wouldn't be calling me crying and upset because she doesn't even know where he is. You guys are so quick to point the finger when you only see one side of the coin. Truth is the boy did run away, because his mother wouldn't let "MAN UP," as you guys like to say so much now. I guess kids may take after their parents, running away from a problem is what it seems like Daniel's mom does best. But people you really need to open your eyes, kids make mistakes, you dont bash them and make stupid *** jokes like you are in preschool with some of your mentalities are definitely made for. But in retrospect, I do hope Daniel comes back, but he will come back when he is ready.

 

Sounds like a big one sided battle here with no one to represent Beth. But as a man who had been abandoned as a child by his father I have to ask who is raising this young man with such weak morals that he has to ''run away'' when things get tough. As much as the parents of the boy try to make Beth out as a deviant they need to point the rest of those fingers at their poor parenting and naivety.

 

If you can't find Daniel I'd suggest checking up his mom's ***.

 

Lets make this about finding Daniel and making sure he is safe and sound. No need to bash anyone or name calling.

 

That would be a lovely idea but I personally would like an apology for making my friend seem like some sort of heathen.

 

Exactly

I want the same as well coming from Daniel's mother, I know she is upset about the whole situation but she doesn't need to bad mouth my friend when she goes about it...Daniel's mom doesnt need another restraining order :-D

 

:chillpill:

Does 'Beth's' Mom know where she is? Has 'Beth's' Mom seen her at all in the last month? if the answer is 'yes' to either of those questions, how about get a grip for now,with your who is right who is wrong debate... and lets find the kid....come back later to hash out the 'he said, she said' crap.

Right or wrong on either side's part, their is a mother who is missing her son, and there is nothing good about that.

 

Hehe...

Im sure he would love to, yet everyone else seems to think that is more important...

 

I surprised no one spoke up about the bashing when it was one sided. But I do agree that the kid should be found. As far as where beth is,that will remain in the minds of those who need to know. But I'd be trying to escape too if my mother was as rabid as what i've seen here. Theres a fine line between concerned mother and zealot.

 

So are you saying its ok for teens to do what they want whenever they want without any parental say. What would be the point in becoming a parent?

 

No...

Im sure he is saying its not right for Daniel's mother to tell half the story like she isnt at fault in this at all.

 

who are you talking to? if you are going to talk on the board, please use it correctly and use the quote button when you respond, it heps us all keep up with the flow of the conversation...just a tip....


so who was this comment addressed to?

 

he who? I am confused.....