Ike Godsey's Store - A good place to meet

Great puns

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said," I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh Mac Taggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

 

One cool time piece

http://home.tiscali.nl/annejan/swf/timeline.swf

 

Baby martial arts master - great technique!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Awm9nE8bJtI

 

See how some Colombian kids get to school!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjhdTYa3oRw

A buddy sent this to me.

I'm not sure if I would want to use the hardware that these kids (and adults) are using.

And, I recommend they get a new sack for the younger sister. That one looks a little worn!

 

Ditch Surfing - Who says you need an ocean!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99P4Grmq8vA

 

Interview with an 80-yr old woman

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she
had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt
like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's
occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't
mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they
did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those
years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered
proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in
her early 20s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40s, later on a
preacher when in her 60s, and now in her 80s, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had
married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the
show, three to get ready, and four to go."

 

Don't have power windows in your car? - No problem!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bd876iqGdT4

 

Even Ike had to let loose once in a while... WAAAAAWWWW!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYUrdMzbtUg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v04-GyUBti4

 

Jerry Clower is a classic, funny story teller. My whole family has loved him from day 1.

Great post.

 

One awesome 11 yr old girl - What a voice!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HWcVcCgI8M

 

Fantastic multi-function cell phone - Like a Swiss Army Knife

http://www.flixxy.com/sumsing-turbo-3000-cellphone.htm

 

Kent, is this kinda like your own "blog"? :lol:
It's cool man. Don't taze me bro. :lol:

 

Negative on the personal blog. But it does seem that I do most of the posts.

Ike's Store is for everyone - and it's a good place to meet.

It eliminates having to create so many threads on small subjects/items and it's easy to rummage through in case it's been awhile since your last visit and want to a glimpse at who/what's been to Ike's.

My only request is that any posts be appropriate as "Ike" might see them.

You know if you ever visit Ike's Store, you can always bring the kids.

 

From page 1 post 1:

Obviously I didn't read from the beginning.

BTW, thanks for the pic, I'm going to use it on the next run of postcards.:mrgreen:

 

10-4, you're quite welcome.

 

An alternate method to disciplining your children

Many people think it is improper to spank children.

The other day I was talking to one of my buddies about methods he used to discipline his children.

We talked about "time outs", grounding, holding back "rewards" until the child displayed the desired behavior. One of the things we discussed was the act of spanking and my friend explained that no, he does not spank any of his children.

He explained that what he takes the misbehaving child out for a car ride. He said this usually works and that the child calms down fairly quickly.

By removing the child, in this case his son, from the immediate situation and providing a change of scenery, the child is allowed to focus on something different. Once the child has the opportunity to change perspective, things get better quickly and the child has a much better understanding of his place within the family and begins to understand the family's concept of acceptable behavior.

He kindly shared a picture of the process which I share with you now.

 

How sports referees put up with coaches complaining

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eF3t0bG3kRM

 

<evil snicker>

 

I love the "99" on the speed indicator!