Kaci's Longtime friend

HG and i had an awesome wake for her today and it was a great thing.

 

Oh my goodness! I don't know how you had the strength. I am so very sorry this happened. I'll be sending fond thoughts and well-wishes to you and to Mayan.

 

Thanks again to you all and i wish i could say it was all good, but i have yet again spent another night crying over my baby girl - i really thought i was ready since i knew she had far outlived her expected life span according the internet but i cannot even begin to put into words what it feels like to not have my baby girl by my side tonite:cry: i am sorry, i know i am being a total wimp but i miss her so much.

 

I am so sorry for your loss. These babies are truly members of the family.

 

My eyes are all puffy today :-D

DH and I love you and your family.

 

Kaci, I'm sorry for your loss too. You're not being a total wimp at all. Loving another living creature for 16 years is a long time. It's really a blessing that God loves us so much that he gives us these special joys in life. Wish our pet babies could live as long as we do.

About a year after my first child was born, my precious poodle left me. He was 18 years old. I'd had him since I was 9 years old and he saw me through some really tragic times in my childhood and early adulthood, even through my first pregnancy, etc. I knew he was not doing well and I prayed I'd not have to make the "decision" but that he would go in his sleep. That's exactly what he did. My Mom said the little fellow knew my heart and he knew I could't deal with losing him any other way.

I cried for days. DH and I buried him in the yard at the house we lived in then. I don't think I've EVER cried as hard as I did watching DH dig that hole (stupid of me - never will watch that again).:cry: Honestly, I was so glad he stayed with me until I had a child to care for.

Someone gave me the "Rainbow Bridge" poem back then and it soothed my aching heart. You cry all you want for your friend. I have a precious Kitty who is almost 12. I'm hoping she makes it to 20 :?

I also like this little poem:

I Wish You Were Still Here​

We walked together through the years​

You were a special friend​

When I was sad your loving eyes​

Would often help me mend​

Whenever hardship came my way,​

Your happy face was there​

And troubles never seemed so bad​

When you were here to care.​

The love you showed was heaven-sent​

You brought me so much cheer​

I’ll not forget my little friend​

I wish you were still here.​

by: Larry Hamond​

I hope your feeling a bit better today. (((Hugs to you!!)))

 

Thank you MSN, that is a beautiful and moving poem and thank you for making me not feel like such a wimp for still crying. i swear today i heard her bark several times and it took everything in me not to go out and uncover her grave:cry: i know it wasn't her and i know she was just a dog but for me she has been by my side during everything - my husband and i splitting up, raising 3 teenage boys and all the craziness that entails, etc - she has been the one constant in my life for 16 years. i am always the strong one in my family both here and extended but this is really knocking me down. Thank you so much for your kind and understanding words.

 

Kaci,
I lost my best friend in April. I had her (or she had me!) for over 13 years. I found her as a stray puppy and never imagined being without her. When she died (I had to have her put to sleep because of her pain) I thought I would die too. Many people told me that the pain would lessen in time, but that is hard to believe when you hurt so bad you can't even breathe.
I still hurt today. I still tear up and cry once in a while, and I would give just about anything to have her back with me. But it has slowly gotten easier, and it will for you, too.
It's okay to be sad, it's okay to mourn, and it's okay to vent. Every day you'll grow a bit stronger. I promise.

ssmm

 

((((((((kaci))))))) I'm soooo sorry about Mayan. ((((((((kaci))))))) :-(

 

But she was not just a dog. She was your friend and that's why you should allow yourself to mourn your loss. I know, I swear I thought I heard my little poodle bark after he was gone. He saw me through my parents nasty divorce when I was 12 and my emotionl "dating" years and some life threatening injuries all the way into marriage and a baby. If I hadn't had my baby daughter to care for, I'd have holed up in the house and cried for days and days I know.

Hey, didn't I see in another thread that you just sent one of your boys off to college too? Or was that somebody else? Man if that was you, you deserve a full breakdown by now.

Like ssmm said, it still hurts, but the pain gets a little less as time goes by. You begin to catch yourself smiling more through the tears thinking of all the happy memories you had with your friend. I heard a good saying about grief once:
"When your heart is empy, filling it with happy memories can help you find your smile." I pray God sends a special blessing your way today to help you find your smile.

(((hugs to you today)))

 

Kaci, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Don't ever question yourself for grieving. I lost my "baby" 1 1/2 yrs ago and still say goodnight to her every night. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and I still cry at times. It was like losing a child. I have a new baby and love her but it will never be the same. You will have good days and bad but eventually the bad ones will be less often and you will find at the strangest moments you will remember something funny about Mayan that will not only warm your heart but let you know she is still there watching over you.

 

Again and again, i cannot thank you guys enough for your kind words and thoughts - today is one week and i just got back from VA where everyone knew Mayan and it was so great remembering her and mourning her with folks that had known her from the beginning.

i love my 4042 family though - you guys are truly the greatest - even though a lot of you guys do not know me or Mayan, you have shared wonderful thoughts and prayers that have really helped.

 

Oh my...oh my...I am bawling my eyes out right now.

I don't really read this forum and was somewhat bored so I came over and my gosh. My heart is aching for you Kaci.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Ro

 

Thank you so much Ro, like i said, my 4042 family is the best. i still say that back in my Mom's day, neighbors talked over the fence, now we all talk online but it does not make it any less personal.

 

Ok, sorry to bore you guys with this but i have to ask - after any of you lost a pet so close to your heart, did you go through a time where you were scared of letting any of your other pets get close to you??? As most of you know, i live in a zoo but Mayan was the only one that was truly my baby and now i find myself kinda skittish of letting the other pets get that close and it worries me but it also scares me. Anyone else ever go through that or understand and can tell me that in time it will pass, please?

So sorry for continually being a cry baby

 

Yep! I had the same feelings. I thought I'd "protect" myself and not ever be so in love with a pet again so I'd never have to hurt that way again.
It worked for a little while, but eventually, the grief lessened and the great things about my other babies wore me down and I finally threw my hands up and gave in.

Not a year after my poodle had died, my favorite kitty died suddenly. I, like you, could not believe he was dead. We got home and he was there, still warm, no heartbeat, no breathing. (Diabetic seizure) I even tried to revive him, called the vet and asked how I could be sure he was really gone (I know, the vet had to think that was stupid too ).

I honestly think that was almost harder than my poodle because my kitty was still pretty young and he was the biggest goofy, teddy bear, loving, adorable cat I have EVER known.

Since then, I've lost other precious pets and cried over them just as hard. But you know what, I don't regret letting any of them capture my heart one bit. I consider it a blessing to have had so many chances to have them fill my heart with joy. I really do think they are a gift God gives us because He loves us so much and likes to see us happy.

Right now, I have a cat that is 12 years old and she is nothing like my goofy kitty was. In fact, she can be downright P****:mrgreen: . But, I adore her and she adores me. I tried being without a cat when baby #3 was on the way. Lasted a few weeks and I felt TOO empty so I got a kitty. I'll never try to be without a cat again. I adore our dog too. He is so great with the kids and I'm gonna be so sad when he goes. But, I am enjoying him now and making sweet memories with all my pets while I can.

Kaci, the grief will get a little easier to deal with as time goes by. You will always hurt some when you think or her, but your heart is WAY too big for you to think your gonna be able to keep it guarded from hurting again. I wish they lived as long as we did. But, they don't. Give them ALL your love while you can. Remember, it is a gift.

((((Kaci))))

 

Wow all of you guys are so awesome:mrgreen:

 

Well said! That's how I feel about ones I have now and ones that have passed. They are a blessing and we enjoy them so much. Heck, I'm even getting attached to the turtle! :shock:

 

Oh honey, lemme tell ya....I LOVED my little turtle that got stuck and died. (Okay...okay....okay....they are really my "kids" turtles - HA!):mrgreen:
But this one had real personality. We got a pair and the other one was kinda skiddish and didn't really do much. We still have him and he is more curious now but nothing like the one we lost.

DH would always get so tickled at me because I played with the happy turtle and talked to them all the time. It hurt my heart when we lost Scrat (after the Ice Age critter).

We got another one from the pond when he was a baby, but he is not the kind that stays little and he's getting pretty big:shock: .

I really want another red ear slider like Scrat. Might have to order one. Think I'll wait till the heat is not so bad too - hadn't thought about that.:? Plus, I really need to get a bigger setup. Keep me posted if you get another one.

BTW, you said you got two...whats???? to keep him company?? What are they?

 

Two blue dwarf guarami's, it's just a nice little freshwater fish, pretty but not expensive. Had enough of expensive fish when we had the 29 gallon set up, we bought a Jack Dempsey once, paid over $30 for him which was a LOT of money to me at the time :lol: and he only lived a couple months. Learned my lesson! They've been getting along fine, looks like everyone's fins are intact, lol, was afraid they'd be a turtle snack.

Sorry for the hijack Kaci, I hope things are getting a little easier for you. I still miss my Sheltie sometimes and it's been several years.