Ok, Question for Mom's of pre-teen's....

Discussion in 'Discussion Group' started by KellBell, May 20, 2008.

  1. peppercorns

    peppercorns Well-Known Member

    I would and did laugh in my kids face if she asked to date before 16. - That's alone - with a boy and a car. Mine had the sense enough to go in a group even after that and we never had trouble that way. I strongly urge you to meet anyone who comes to pick up your kid - male or female. I know on 19 yr old GIRL prego by a 15 year old BOY and another 16 y/o dating a 20 year old man. her mom thinks they are a cute couple......hmmmmmm

    I took many to movies and either sat in the back - unbeknownst to her or went to another movie or shopping and came back. She had no idea. i was happier when a group on them went. Now she is on her own and drives herself. AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

    I am not saying my way is right (ok not too much), but when in doubt err on the side of caution because when the get to be older you have no say whatsoever. after 18 you sit back and cross your fingers.
     
  2. mnredsky

    mnredsky Well-Known Member

    Amen!
     
  3. nsanemom22

    nsanemom22 Well-Known Member

    Amen!
     
  4. Southernborn

    Southernborn Well-Known Member

    My oldest daughter is 14 (8th grade) and I've just started letting her do this with her girlfriends. I have let her meet one boy (with a group of her friends) one time and I've let that same boy come to my house so they could "hang". Now dating alone or in anothers car, ummm not until at least 16.

    My 10 yo (5th grader) the only place I drop her off is Interskate on Friday's when Chris (police officer) is working. I know the nights he works his daughter is there and she is good friends with my daughter and he watches out for her.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2008
  5. kimmie

    kimmie Well-Known Member

    don't ever let them go, :jester:
     
  6. ImTheNormal0ne

    ImTheNormal0ne Well-Known Member

    and because you have boys you think you dont worry about them? i have a boy and the only difference to me is they dont bring them home but can get into the same kind of trouble.
     
  7. kimmie

    kimmie Well-Known Member

    they don't bring "them" home...... who is them?
     
  8. peppercorns

    peppercorns Well-Known Member

    I know a brilliant boy with a bright future, who almost got sucked in by a girl who would have ruined his life and left him with nothing.
    I agree with Normal - you still gotta watch.
     
  9. KellBell

    KellBell Well-Known Member

    I am pretty sure I didn't say I didn't have to watch them or keep an eye on them any less because of them being boys. I jsut said I was very glad I had boys.
     
  10. kimmie

    kimmie Well-Known Member

    oh, you must know my son, and he did get sucked in and don't think that just b/c you have a son you don't wind up w/ the baby.... we have an 11 yo grandson at my house that is living proof of that! MY son is there as well, but...............you know what I'm saying........the mama ain't!
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2008
  11. Aj

    Aj Guest

    I think 12 is way too young to go to a theater, alone. Like Cleo said before-12/13/14 yr olds should be going out in a group. 15/16 is an age that I feel comfortable with them started to date alone. Things are just so different these days. I have an almost 11 yr old and I can't imagine her dating next year. Kids grow up way too fast! What's the rush anyhow?
     
  12. KellBell

    KellBell Well-Known Member

    Thanks for everyone's input. It just confirms what I already thought, which is that it's way too soon for it this summer. Maybe next summer. :mrgreen:
     
  13. nsanemom22

    nsanemom22 Well-Known Member

    I don't recall saying that I didn't worry about them. And it's a shame that anyone would assume I didn't. Don't drag me into the drama.
     
  14. ncmom

    ncmom Well-Known Member

    Wow kids really are growing up quick these days! They are watching tween/teen TV drama shows at age 5 and dating by 12? The purpose of dating is basically to eventually find a spouse. Why do 12 and 13 year olds need to be going down that road so soon? They start to date at 12 ...by 14 they are pretty "expereinced" ... will just going out to a movie be enough?
     
  15. kimmie

    kimmie Well-Known Member

    thats right girl!
     
  16. Southernborn

    Southernborn Well-Known Member

    Girl, I think your boys are the same age as my little one (5th grade). Dang, my daughter hasn't even become that interested in boys yet, but she did tell me for her birthday, she wants to invite boys this year for her annual swim party :?.
     
  17. Tigers are Grrr8!

    Tigers are Grrr8! Active Member

    7th Grade teacher weighing in...

    12/13 yo kids think they know everything...and scarily enough they do know far more than they should. When we were 12/13, we had crushes, but played flashlight tag and kick-the-can. 16 yo was the rule of thumb for my parents and for most any of my friends parents...it was not considered "respectable" any earlier.

    Let me assure you that 12/13 yo kids may seem ready, but just because they know the words and what things look like (shudder) due to overexposure in media/society and Grand Theft Auto, does not mean they are ready for love and romance. They have no business knowing anything about that stuff, and they certainly shouldn't be granted a forum to explore on their own.

    I deal with this age group every day. They have sex, they do all kinds of drugs, some become active gang members at this age, some get PREGNANT. They talk about it like it is nothing. This is scary *@!#.

    Most of the parents are in complete denial..."my kid would NEVER!"...even after we catch them in the act. One girl last year was offering sexual favors in the school bathroom for $5!!!!!!!!!! Some of my seemingly sweetest kids have completely stunned me with what they were willing to do.

    My two daughters will be on the 16 yo plan...and, in my humble, will be the better, more respectable young women for it.

    Mine is just one opinion, but I would guess that if you asked any 7th grade teacher anywhere, you would hear a similar opinion.

    Sorry to offend, if I have, but I strongly believe we need to make a societal push towards regaining childhood innocence for our children...THEY DESERVE IT!
     
  18. bandmom

    bandmom Well-Known Member

    AMEN!!! :iagree: :hurray: :hurray:
     
  19. shar824

    shar824 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for speaking up!!! Its great to hear from someone who deals with multiple children at this age every day!!

    OK, with that being said...IS THERE SOME PILL OR SOMETHING I CAN GIVE MY LITTLE BOYS TO KEEP THEM 2 AND 3 FOREVER???????????????????????????????????????????????????? :jester:
     
  20. sus

    sus Well-Known Member

    My 14y/o has been allowed to go to the movies with a group of friends since she was 12. I take her and I pick her up. AM sitting in the parking lot 20 minutes before the movie is to be over.
    There are parents that allow their girls to walk around the shopping complex the theatre is in after the movie ..but im not one of them.
    Im one of the meanest moms in the world and thankful for it everyday.
    Neither of my girls were or are allowed to single date until the are 16. My oldest who is going to be 18 still prefers to go out with a group of friends. She and her boyfriend will go out to eat once in awhile on their own but its usually in a large groups.
     

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