Question about school disipline.

Off topic: I saw a birthday card with your squirrel picture on it today. Can't remember what it said now though. I think it was something like, 'I'd be nuts to miss your birthday'.

 

I saw one at Food Lion a few months back. I almost bought it for Mafiaman but I don't know when his birthday is (and I don't want his wife to kill me!) :lol:

 

I just read this whole thread from beginning to end. and one question was never answered: if there were many kids going to the fountain, why was his kid the only one who got yelled at? That doesn't make sense to me? And I know an 18 yo with ADHD, not on meds, and he is VERY respectful to his elders, because of the way he was brought up. His parents were very strict about this, and I'd hate to see what happened to him, or his siblings if they even thought about cussing out one of their teachers! The sad thing is, at 16, I don't know if there's much Jayjay can do now to turn things around. And it doesn't sound like he wants to either.

 

I had to go back and check the initial post.

I flat out missed it, good catch.

 

I have a feeling he veered off from the class. Clearly if the whole class had lined up to get water it would be a case of discrimination and that doesn't seem to be what happened. And the teacher "came out of the class" as if the rest of the students had gone inside. Just my thought.

 

Seriously/?/
Everything about this is just wrong. Do you not feel that your child may be crying out for some attention? All HE must do is check in with YOU & that makes you feel as though you are doing your job?

Everyone that has ever had a child, knows that it takes much..much more than this. Especially a child with special needs. I know we all like to think that by the time Our kids are 16 they will be grown & will no longer need us. But this is when they need us the most.

Someone once said to me, if my child is pulling away from me.. in what direction is he headed to? This is where youth groups & sports programs are so effective. Get him plugged into as many things as you can. And remember there is always something new that we can implement to make the job that we are currently doing more successful!

 

I'm not sure if it's been mentioned, but are you a single parent? I just don't remember a mom being mentioned and that might add a little bit of a new perspective to the folks that are basically saying you are a failure as a parent.

 

It was mentioned in one of his posts that he and his wife (the child's mother) have spoken recently about this matter. not sure if they're married, not that it really matters, as long as she's in his life I guess.

And really, I agree with Shopgirl. Is it ok if he checks in with you before dark, then goes off and robs a store? Would you say, well, he checked in with me, so I thought he was ok? He said he was at his friends house, I just thought they were hanging out. I know my kids aren't his age yet, so I probably shouldn't talk, but I know I will not have this laid-back attitude, especially if my kid is having this kind of issue/anger.

 

But what you are suggesting is following the kid around to see what he is doing? That's fine if that is your style. If you don't trust where your child says he/she is going then don't let them out of the house. Other than that, you have to trust that they are going where they say they are going and if they get in trouble and then they have to reap the consequences whatever they may be.

 

If your child is getting into trouble and grounded though, should he be out all hours of the night. It sounds like he's skipping school all the time and hanging out at his girl/friends house day and night, and as long as he calls home to say where he is, that's ok. At 16? And then he's swearing at the teacher, and he's not even punished at home? That just doesn't sound right, maybe he should be watched more closely. Maybe he'll end up being picked up by someone like your hubby before too long...That anger is going to end up at the wrong place sooner or later.

 

It's true. I agree with what you are saying. (And there were only two people who I thought were being jerks which is why i edited my post so people didn't think I was talking to everyone.)

Anyway, I don't have real answers for this except that if they have faith they should be praying for guidance and seeking support from other family and friends so they don't feel alone in this difficult situation. And even if the counseling is expensive they could at least try to go once a month for a while.

 

After reading through all of this I did notice that the rest of the kids were able to get water but if this teacher came out in the hall to speak to this child it means the kid was lagging behind others (already testing authority). Now, DMJmom and I are both just guessing, I would think this 16 year old was ready to test whomever approached him. If the situation happened as described.

No parent knows exactly where there child is at all times. I laughed when I read that someone stated they worked full time and knew where there three children were all of the time. My teen leaves for school and we say goodbye and when she leaves school we talk again. I am not certain where the teen is from the time she leaves the house in the morning until I see her again in the late afternoon or early evening. I hope she is at school but I will not put it on paper that I know where she is because nobody knows! Yes, the school calls to let parents know if a kid misses a class or day but guess what, the kids know about what time those calls go out...they erase those messages parents! Had a teen over talking about it the other day.

Anyhow, my opinion is that a parent should really crack down if a teen is acting out. Disrespect to any adult should not be tolerated under any circumstance. Middle college, no middle college, who cares? It is time to meet with your son's teacher and your son and BACK THE TEACHER! Let your son know that starting today this will no longer be tolerated. Bite the bullet...you'll be better off and so will your son.

Just my opinion,
Sherry

 

I am the teacher in question...

and I would love to discuss this matter with you. The story you have depicted could not have been further from the truth. Please call me at your earliest convenience. My professionalism keeps me from posting any more.

P.S. This was the first discipline referral I have written this entire school year, and never is it ok for a child to use profane language toward an adult. At least it wasn't in my home.

 

See...all you have to do is call the teacher and try to work things out....your advice was answered

 

sitting back with my popcorn waiting for the reaction......

 

I don't care what anyone says. I will implant myself so far in my sons business that he will feel like I CARE!!!!! He will check in with me as much as I feel it's necessary to know he's not getting in trouble. Yes, there is a fine line between CARING and be a control freak and I will teeter on top of that line ever so carefully.....

 

I would hope there's not a need for popcorn. A mature adult would just speak with the teacher and resolve the issue that way. He doesn't owe us any further details.

 

That is the impression I get, and experience from seeing kids line in up Elementary School and Middle School.

 

I am a caring control freak. Sue me.

Since teach posted, I see my manipulation post was not that far off. This kid is playing both sides against the other, I bet. Smart kid. BTDT.

 

That fine line is so hard to find sometimes. My teen must call me when arriving and departing from school each day. I want to know that mine is safe. We always speak when she arrives somewhere and when she is leaving as I want to know that she has arrived and I want to know the approximate time she will be home. But I am not so naive as to believe that she can leave school or someone's house without my knowledge. I just hope she makes decisions that she was brought up to make. Nobody is perfect as she will meet others at a local restaurant when I am unaware and then call me when she leaves that place. Thank goodness for communication between parents! Since I believe everyone needs a little space I don't go nuts about Bojangles. Now, if it were something or somewhere else I would bust that arse and ground her for...forever! :lol:

One day at a time,
Sherry