It's not a matter of overstepping bounds, Joanne...I didn't mean to insinuate that. The situation we are faced with is that when it comes to something like this, you generally get one chance and that's it. Once the story is out, it's used up. If it runs on WRAL or other TV stations, that greatly lessens the chance that it would get followed up on via the written media because they don't want a "used" story. So it's best to try to get this done the first time through the medium that can best relay the facts and the truth. This can't be done spontaneously. In order for this to be effective, it's got to be planned carefully. As a group, we parents need to meet and determine our priorities, get our facts together, prepare an agenda, and then take it to the proper media forum.
participation is key The idea of having your child bullied is scary as well as heart-breaking. We can't protect them from everything. The best way that I've found to have my voice heard, have my questions answered, and stay "in the know" is to attend school events, participate in PTSA, and show up for advisory council meetings. When I see kids at the schools they seem like kids. What the news shows is the worst side of our kids, the sensational stories that hold our attention between commercials while we try to cook dinner and move laundry from the washer to the dryer. We really do have many wonderful kids in Johnston County whose accomplishments remain unrecognized by the TV and papers because good news doesn't sell.
Only about 8% of the elementary schools in North Carolina have resource officers. Of those, about 1.5% have resource officers dedicated exclusively to that elementary school. It is my belief that the Dept of Public Instruction does not consider the risk of violence to be that high in elementary schools. From what I've read, they feel that the real risk of violence doesn't begin until elementary school. If there is no resource officer, then the case of violence would be handled by local police, but I would be interested to see how seriously they would take an assault by someone 6th grade or younger on another student of the same age.
Yes, their accomplishments remain unrecognized...however so do their uncalled for hardships that arise due to bullying. Do not trivialize it. Until you are a parent whose child has been a victim of violence in school, you have no idea what it is like, and the effect it has on the child. Likewise, you cannot imagine the obstacles parents meet and the apathy they endure in trying to get these situations handled properly by the schools, until you experience it first-hand.
Advice from Atticus We're currently reading To Kill A Mockingbird in my classes at WJHS, and (as many of you know) Atticus tells Scout that in order to understand how others feel she has to get inside another person's skin and walk around a little. I am by no means looking to diminish the significance of your concern for your childrens' safety. I am, however, asking you to consider the reality of what you're saying when you call for increased supervision throughout the school system at all times. Although it was designed for about 1600, WJHS has well over 2100 students on a campus the size of a small college. Each lunch period has 300+ students, and because the periods overlap there can be as many as 700 in the cafeteria at one time. And while they're in there, the rest of the students are still in classes and hallways that require monitoring as well. Let's not forget the 16 (or so) bathrooms, auditorium, media center, locker rooms, gym, and mobile units outside, plus the acres of parking lots. During class changes we're required to be on hall duty, but we also have our classrooms to monitor, and you'd be amazed how many children can approach you to ask a question during a five minute class change. So now we're engaged with a child (maybe yours) on a problem that is clearly important to them (and therefore important to us), watching the 15 kids who are already in our room, keeping an eye on the 200 who are wandering the hallway in front of us to see if they're using cell phones (forbidden), listening to ipods (forbidden), violating dress code (forbidden), engaging in public displays of affection (forbidden), drinking or eating in the hallways (forbidden), or running, pushing, hitting, taunting, or doing any of the other sometimes far more hurtful things they might be doing. And then the phone rings with a call on an outside line from a parent who simply can't understand why his or her child isn't passing and wants to set up a conference and if you can tell me how to answer the phone and the child and watch the class and the hall and enforce the rules and teach the class and set up the conference then by all means tell me. As for constant supervision in the locker rooms, when your child is in gym class and asks to go to the bathroom, does he get escorted? If so, who watches the class? Or do they say no, you can't go? How many angry phone calls from parents do we get then? Your concerns are real, justified, and serious. I love my job and take it seriously. I care about your children as if they were my own. But before you decide that our APs (we have 4-that's 1 for every 500+ students) or our SRO (we have 1 for 2100+ students) or my colleagues aren't doing everything we should to protect your children, please consider how much we're already doing. Step into our skin and walk around a while. It might surprise you.
To KSKY: I'm not sure about the rest of the parents that have posted here...But I don't expect a whole lot more out of teachers, because I find that teachers are more likely than not treated just as horrible as students are. You are not the problem. The problem as I see it is with: School Superintendents Stop acting like you are God...because you aren't. You work for the people of your school district, and that includes a he** of a lot of parents. Stop treating parents and their concerns as though they mean nothing. Stop calling parents who are trying to change your discriminatory policies that they are racists for becoming activists against those policies. Stop telling us that you know whats best for our kids, because you obviously don't. Stop telling us that our kids should be sacrificed for the sake of your social experiments. Get over your inflated ego and listen to us. We pay your salary. Principals Stop perpetrating racial preference and double standards out of some misguided desire to right wrongs from 200 years ago. Stop trying to balance your school's suspension rate by suspending the victims along with the perpetrators. Stop turning your head because you don't want to admit there is a problem in your school. Stop telling our kids that they are at fault for being victims of bullying and violence because they don't try to fit in with the dominant culture of the school. Our kids have a right to be themselves without being harassed and beaten up for it. Stop being afraid of your the students in your own school. Get some balls and act like a principal. Take back control of your school. Get off your high-horse and listen to us. We pay your salary. Resource Officers Do your job. Recognize and address parents' concern for their child's safety instead of ignoring it. Stop acting as though your RO duties are a second job and not worthy of doing right. Stop being afraid of the students at the schools you are responsible for. Stop acting like Barney Fife and act like a law enforcement officer. Stop ignoring us and listen to us. We pay your salary. Teachers We know your job is hard...and is often he** to do. We know that the dream of making a difference as a teacher that you had when you were in college has been shattered by the reality of teaching in a public school. We know you feel you've lost control of your classroom. We know you are not allowed to do your job anymore, which is simply teaching our children what they need to know. We know that you are expected to walk into a classroom each day and teach classes that often have as many disruptors as students that want to learn. We know that you fear your students. We don't blame you for fearing them - you are physically alone in your room and are outnumbered...and these kids aren't the clowns of our days in school. These kids are hateful, beyond disrepectful, and violent. We know that you have had your funding ripped out from under you and that you are expected to pay for your own supplies and pay for your own required career development. We know that most of you work twice as hard as the rest of you ...but that you all get paid the same for it. We know that you are a pawn in the social experiments set up by the school system as much as our children are, and that in doing so, the school system sets you up so that you must either work miracles or fail. We know that many of you want to join parents in the fight to fix the problems of violence at school. But we also know that you fear the consequences if you particpate with us. We know that you fear retaliation from your school superintendents and principals, from the perpetrating students and possibly from other teachers, if you speak out with us. We know that you fear retribution from your union. We know that you fear losing your job. We know that you are overworked, overwhelmed, and frustrated. But we ask that you step up and help us get the word out. Because until it gets out, nothing is going to change...it's only going to get worse. We are behind you, not against you.
i am concerned, too! I am a parent of 6 children, one who has just finished high school. Thankfully, we did not have this problem in his school, but I am well aware that this can happen anywhere. I think it's very admirable for someone to start this discussion and try to help. I know it's cheesy, but even though this happens almost everywhere, we as parents, could do just a little and at least keep our children/community as safe as possible. We can't change the entire world, but we can start in our own backyards. I am behind you 100%, let me know what I can do.
Just for the record, I am in the schools on a regular basis. I was employed by the school system, in a teaching capacity, for many years. I volunteer an average of 6 hours per week in the schools specifically to help the teachers. (Sometimes more, depending on the activities planned for the week, or the needs of the school) I belong to two separate schools’ PTA’s, and volunteer regularly for them as well. I also have two high school teachers and two elementary teachers in my extended family. As I have mentioned the over crowding is a large part of the problem. Teachers are overworked, hence my offering my time to them. The fact that teachers get no breaks is wrong as well. And it certainly does not make it right for either the teachers or the students. I am so grateful to the teachers that my children have had that truly do care and do their best to educate my children. I make my appreciation very well known to them with my time, notes, gifts, and a constant flow of supplies. I am not suggesting any additional duties for our already overworked teachers. I am simply asking for them to be held accountable for their behavior, or lack of, as well as the students are. I do believe with a student body of 2100, there needs to be more supervision, period. What goes on on a daily basis proves that to me. The locker room and school parking lots are the places where much of the violence and theft occurs, on an almost daily basis. If you went to a concert, or a show that had 2100 in attendance, would there only be one officer on site? Nope! This is unfair to our children. I talk constantly to students in the schools, about many different topics. Some are considering some very radical (in my opinion) ways of protecting themselves. This is so wrong, that is all I know. Our children are frightened. This is unfair and a great injustice to them. Magnolias last post made perfect sense to me, I couldn’t have said it better. I do not know what we can do to change things, or how they can change, but I’m willing to give it all I’ve got to see that any student is safe when I send them off to school. Or at least try my best for that result. As I said before, it is their basic right. Just because there are many obstacles to overcome, and perhaps injustices abound, we need to start somewhere and not turn the other cheek, so to speak. It will cost money, no question. But it needs to be done. Parents in groups are listened to. Citizens in groups definitely get the attention of our elected officials. Hopefully it can be that simple. Make the problem public and the majority of us made aware of the problem can write to the schools, Board of Ed and state officials. I have been in this area for over 14 years. I have seen parents make a difference. But it has always been in large numbers. I would like to thank all the good and caring teachers and administrators out there who do the best they can for our children. You are a Godsend and I truly appreciate you dedicating your time and life to our children. As concerned parent of 6 said... That is my point exactly! We cannot sit by and wait for change, or worse, watch the problem escalate. I believe we all must do what we can, and now is the time.
I would also like to elaborate and say that when a parent does step up and voice an opinon to what is taking place in their childs classroom through the proper channels with administration, parents become victims of harrassment as well. I am living proof of that. I have been harrassed by another parent/adult from my childs school. One day, when I feel safer regarding the situation I will share the details of my whole story.
You have my full support I would like to thank joannenc for bringing this to the attention of our community and finding a way to help bring it out in the open. Also thank you to everyone who has participated in thread. Many of us have had bad experiences and good ones too. It doesnt mean we need to accept the bad. I am ready to help make a change. For the good of the children and the community. Just let me know where and when!!! I also support getting anyone and everyone we possibly can involved. This means parents, students, staff and the press. I support this thread 100%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As the author of a series of articles in the News and Observer a few years back, I can assure you I harbor no such fears. I woke this morning thinking about just this issue. The fundamental problem here is that there simply aren't enough available eyes to do all the watching that needs to be done. How these situations are resolved after they have happened is another issue entirely, but to truly address the core problem we need to stop them from happening in the first place. When residential communities realized that the police force was simply too undermanned to protect their lives and property, they formed community watches to fill the need. It would be nice if our more conscientious, motivated students could help us patrol/police our schools, but the social stigma of being labeled a "narc" is too traumatizing for even our best kids. Could a "community watch" system involving parents be a possible solution? I am a strong supporter of PTSA, and I, for one, encourage parental involvement at any and all times. In fact, I have little doubt that some of what the kids do in front of us they would never do in front of a parent or neighbor. Might it be possible to train interested parents to fill a monitoring position in specific and clearly defined areas of need? I know you already give up precious time to proctor exams, but might you have more? The schools routinely push for parental involvement to support the testing campaign that not only doesn't increase student learning but in many cases hinders it, and yet there is no defined program to involve parents in a far more serious matter, protecting their children. That's a clear indication of where the focus in our schools is directed: testing and accountability. It's a pity.
Sadly, it's more than just being labeled as a snitch...its not safe. Some principals don't want to hear about problems. The child who reports a problem is often labeled by school administration as "intolerant" and an "instigator" because they "tattled" on a classmate. Ulterior motives are attributed by school administrators to the student who reports unacceptable behavior. The principal will call in the perpetrators and have a talk with them, but they will also tell the perpetrators who "told" on them, and then the child who reported the problem is harassed, and sometimes, threatened and physically harmed. Is it wrong for the principal to rat out the child who reported the problem? Absolutely. But it promotes keeping one's mouth shut so problems can be ignored.
You can't beat someone else's kid. (Unfortunetaly) That's where the problem is.... parents not doing their jobs as parents. The kid that bullies my son lives in our subdivision and the Grandparents this kid lives with, acts just like their Grandson. Fruit doesn't fall far from the tree! If these kids see their guardians/ parents acting like a brute, the kids think it's OK too. Monkey see, monkey do!
So whip the parents with a tobacco stick when their kids act up and maybe sooner or later they will learn to do their jobs as parents. Craig
I understand your point, but I don't think there should be much in our schools to police in the first place. This problem will not be solved unless public schools are abolished. The prevailing view by the public school establishment is that "everyone has a right to an education." The implied tag-line to this statement is "no matter how threatening or anti-social your behavior." Until we have schools willing to expel students, and students who don't wish to be expelled (private schools) this problem will not go away.
