Should Aoptees have access to their Original Birth Certificates?

They have many places to do this. I was adopted and my adotive mother wanted to know if I wanted to placed on the list "just in case" (I told her no). I was told at an early age everything that SHE knew, which wasn't much.

This worked for many years. Until the Internet. At age 35, my birth mother tracked me down. I had no choice in the matter. Thank goodness I was told that I was adopted! Could you imagine not knowing and finding out THAT way?

Each person's feelings about adoption are different. My brother, as far as he is concerned, had the parents he had. Those were the only "real" parents to him. I, on the other hand, was curious, but not obsessive about what life would have been like "if only". Today, I have an email/mail relationiship with my birth mother. I have not met her in person yet and I still don't know how I feel about the fact that she sends my children cards and signs them "grandma____" I haven't told them yet (they are very young).

 

Grace, you are clearly her mother in everyway but probably the one that is least important.

Thank You

Hught

 

My point is that you are her mother in every way that is important.

My stepfather is my dad in every way except the donation of the seed. Do I wish my biological father well, yes, I even talk to him once or twice a year, but my real father, well we do not share the same DNA.

 

Grace...

My parents were always very open with me about my adoption. And please know that I feel like they are my real parents. My real parents are the ones that have walked the floor with me when I was teething, waited up for me when I missed curfew, held my head while I was sick, etc.

However, it was unreal to find a biological link to who I am in my birth parents. I can't possibly explain to you what it was like to look into the eyes of someone I shared a biological link with. Do you know that the Daughters of the American Revolution rejected my application because I was adopted? I didn't have a "biological link", or so they said.

I don't call my BF "dad", I call him by his name, but we're able to have a great relationship. My parents have met him and his wife, we've shared meals together. My parents feel secure in the fact that I love them, but I know that during my search, their feelings must have been hurt at some point.

Being an adoptive parent can't be easy, but neither is being a natural parent. Your daughter says the same type things to you that any other kid would say, ie "i'm running away", "I'm going to live with grandma", etc....

Hang in there!

 

First and foremost your daughter is always going to have a void in her life and she knows something is missing. People who are not adopted will never have that feeling. As sense of self because we simply don't know who we are. That is a void that will itch until it is scratched. You might as well get comfortable with the idea of her finding out because the sources are there now and they are free. Nothing will keep her from finding out. Prepare yourself for it. Not to sure I am liking you telling your daughter that you will discuss it at "that time".

 

Don't speak for all adoptee's as I know and respect greatly a man who was adopted and never wants or wanted to know who his birth parents were. He never has felt a void or that something is missing. He is thankful for his adopted parents and he powers on.

 

Do you feel it is your place to tell me to not do something? It isn't. Telling someone to not do something after it has been done already kind of wastes time. Further more in my opinion I can express it how I see fit as long as I do not intentionally offend anyone. I haven't tried to do so. I can speak for myself and my experience like hundreds have done on here since it is a public forum. I know tons of other adoptees who have exressed the same feelings. SO since we have a 100:1 ratio. I stand by my remark.

 

No, but it is my right to point out the fallacy of your arguments. No way can you represent every adopted child in the world.

 

I have more of a voice that a non-adoptee.

 

NOPE. you have a voice for yourself and whoever gives you power of attorney that is it.

 

The bottom line is I am right. You are wrong. I win. Sorry you can't post anymore. Forget it brother!! You are wrong. :lol:

 

lookie another post.......guess you were wrong yet again

 

Really have you proven me wrong yet? Ones opinion is just that. An opinion. Really all you have done is oppose any and everything I have said. Maybe Wal-Mart will have a personality sale soon. 1/2 Price and you to can be an easier person to deal with.

 

Do you have anything that can be proven wrong except your opinion. You love to throw your opinion out there as fact and expect someone to prove it. When they call you on it you scream foul. Guess what I think the consensus may be right serversnapper=troll

 

If someone has an opinion and you have a different opinion why does the other persons opinion have to be wrong. It is thier opinion.

I only screamed foul in your case. Get your facts right. I am here to debate and voice an opinion like you are. You seemed to take it further than it has to be. Just realize like you I enjoy a good debate and a good conversation. Nothing more, nothing less. If I have a different opinion here than you do, I may agree with you in another thread. Labeling me a troll? Someone please define troll so before I explain why I am not. I want my facts straight. While you are at it. Define a lurker.

 

A lurker you are not! :lol::lol::lol:

 

Awesome. But am I a troll?? Really? I just don't see where I have tried to offend anyone or try to instigate. I guess my understanding of a troll maybe be different.

 

Actually, my understanding of a troll is someone who posts something just to make trouble and then sits back and watches the regulars duke it out, so you're not that either. But probably some others have other definitions of troll. You could always google the word & see what comes up, you'll probably get lots of definitions that way. I'm working in the yard today, and just checking in here between pruning blackberries and mowing the lawn and stuff, so I don't feel like doing computer research today. :mrgreen:

Peace & Love,
Pat

 

I agree with you, Jen. I have a brother out there somewhere and hope that one day he'll come looking for us. We, on this side, want to meet him. He, however, may never know he was adopted by his parents.


Frogger

 

If anyone doubts the information on US adoptions, they should take a look at the statistics on the number of overseas adoptions before making up their mind. That many people do not go that far on a whim. I have seen it first hand with a friend who travelled to China for her daughter still not knowing if it was going to happen until well after her arrival in country.