I confiscated my son's PS2 back in October. He FINALLY has the grades where I want them. Stubborn fool.
I think once a child reaches about 8.5 or 9 YO, they should be rational enough to deal with using other means of punishment. I'm not saying that spanking is wrong past that approximate age, but rather that a child nearing ten can hopefully be dealt with using other forms of discipline. Older children are more easily humilated than young kids. I wouldn't want to breed resentment, but rather I'd like to cultivate respect with an understanding on the child's behalf that ultimately parental love motivates the necessity to correct.
When they move out and pay their own bills. :boxing: I remember my first cuss word was "Oh ****", mom was washing dishes and smacked me in the mouth. I learned just NOT to swear anywhere near her. :lol: Got the wooden paddle in 8th grade from a teacher. That was way fun. NOT! Last spanking I got from my mom? Probably HS because of a crappy grade.
You probably wont find this funny at all then. One of the guys at work told me his parents spanked him with Hot wheels track, so much.... the other kids would tell him to lay down and use him for a Hot Wheels play map.
My teens are too old to spank. Just give your older kids a cell phone and then you have the perfect thing to take away when they misbehave. My daughter goes nuts without her phone.
Oh snap, I forgot about the hot wheels track! My brothers got that more than I did. Being the youngest and the only girl had it's privileges, but sibling rivalry ran amok - esp when I set them up to get their ***** beat. Trev, I know just what you mean - when I give a gift to my teen it *does* serve a dual purpose - leverage. Aren't we evil? lol
:iagree: I haven't spanked my kids. They have yet to do anything that warranted hitting them and I can't imagine what that would be. When they were small, we had Mr. Spoon (a small wooden spoon with a sad face) and just the threat worked wonders. Now, I will take prized possessions if necessary, but the warning still usually does the trick. After reading this and other threads on here lately, I feel like the most blessed parent in the world. I know I have more years to go (they are 13 and 15), but they are great kids and I let them know that I am proud of who they are. Love and respect go a long way. Each parent has to make their own decisions and every child is different. I am not saying that spanking is wrong, just that we do not do it.
I AM FROM UP NORTH (N.Y. SUBURBS) AND I WAS RAISED BY MY PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER. YOU WOULD SWEAR THAT WE WERE FROM THE SOUTH JUST BY READING OTHER POSTS ABOUT SWITCHES AND FLYSWATTERS BECAUSE PEOPLE UP NORTH WOULD ASK YOU WHAT A SWITCH WAS. AS A YOUNG KID I REALLY DIDN'T DO MUCH TO GET IN TROUBLE BECAUSE I KNEW MY PLACE. I KNEW ENOUGH NOT TO TALK BACK, (TO HER FACE OR EVEN IN EARSHOT):lol:. I KNEW IF I DID THAT I WOULD HAVE MY DAD OR MY UNCLES TO DEAL WITH. WHEN I GOT OLDER, THAT WAS A DIFFERENT STORY THOUGH. I GOT MOUTHY AND FOR MOST OF THE TIME SHE WOULD JUST TELL MY FATHER. IF THE UNCLES WOULD HAPPEN TO STOP BY TO VISIT OR EVEN CALL ON THE PHONE MY GRANDMOTHER TOLD THEM AND I HAD TO HEAR IT FROM EACH OF THE FOUR OF THEM USUALLY. ONCE I HAD KIDS OF MY OWN YOU WOULD SWEAR THAT THEY WEREN'T EVEN MINE, EXCEPT FOR THE MIDDLE CHILD OF THREE GIRLS. THE OLDEST, YOU COULD THREATEN, TAKE STUFF AWAY AND IT WAS ALL A WASTE OF TIME AND BREATH. I STOPPED SPANKING THE OLDER GIRLS PROBABLY AROUND 9 OR 10. AFTER THAT I WOULD SWAT THE BUTT A COULPLE OF TIMES AS THEY WERE STANDING UP. THE YOUNGEST IS 10 NOW AND JUST LIKE THE FIRST. SHE HAS MORE FEAR/RESPECT THOUGH THAN THE FIRST ONE. IN THE NORTH I DON'T KNOW IF THEY EVER PADDLED IN SCHOOLS EXCEPT FOR CATHOLIC SCHOOLS. ONCE THE OLDEST WAS TAUGHT IN SCHOOL ABOUT SPANKING AND POLICE ETC. IT MADE IT BAD. THEY DIDN'T TEACH HER THAT IF SHE CALLED THE COPS THAT THEY WOULD HAVE TO TEAR ME OFF OF HER WHEN THEY FINALLY GOT THERE. SO WHEN I TOLD HER THAT SHE WASN'T ALL THAT FAST TO THREATEN ME ANYMORE. OVERALL SHE DID TURN OUT TO BE A PRETTY GOOD KID. SHE IS NOW 23 WITH A NEWBORN OF HER OWN. I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHAT KIND OF TROUBLE MY GRANDDAUGHTER WILL GIVE HER FOR WHAT SHE PUT ME THROUGH. :cheers:
If you had brought my child up you would understand that a spanking every so often was needed. Stopped spanking when she could run faster than me. :lol: Mine is a senior in high school and recently had a terrible attitude with me, right before a swim meet. Waited for her to arrive at a swim meet took her to the bathroom and popped that mouth, while looking up at her telling her why she got slapped. Violence does not always breed violence. Sometimes a person needs an awaking which requires a good parent pop! Sherry
It seems a number of child psychologists experts are often childless themselves and have no idea what a healthy parent/child relationship means...only what they've read in a text book. Appropriate physical discipline can be necessary, but as I've stated before, I really do not believe that such punishment should be administered by anyone other than a parent (or legal guardian). Corporal punishment requires the utmost love and care from the child's parents. I wouldn't want a teacher, principal, preacher, aunt, uncle, grandparent, etc. doing any spanking of my child. Even from the Biblical point of view, Scripture says that the parent is responsible for the child.
I was a Holy terror in 9th grade (go figure) and was living in rural West Virginia at the time. 9th was in the Middle School back then, and we still had the paddle. I had a science teacher that was 20 years past her teaching prime and I played a practical joke on her. Another kid rated me out and I was sent to the assistant principals office. I get there and he's talking to me about what I did wrong and tells me he's going to have to give me a swat. He takes the paddle out of his desk, but then he leans back and says "Hey, aren't you Mary Ward's son?" I said yes, and then he proceeds to tell me how he'd gone to high school with my mom and how he always had a crush on her. He spent the next ten minutes talking about the old days and asking me how my mom was doing. As he was rambling on I'm thinking "Heh heh, I'm getting over now for sure". Then he tells me that I had better get back to class because the bell was about to ring. I got up, said "Thanks Mr. Akers" and started out the door. That's when he said "Hold on young man, you forgot something." I turned around and he had the paddle in his hands ready to rock. I got a couple of licks and as I walked out the door he said "Be sure to tell your mom John Akers said Hi!".
I suppose I'm not in the "mainstream" here, but I don't believe spanking is the best way to address misconduct. What does it teach exactly? Supposively, don't do what you just did--or you'll get hurt--by your parent. What if my child just hit another person? Do I hit to teach that hitting is bad? It's just completely backwards. Instead, I punish my kids by taking something away, enforcing time outs, and we always "talk-it-out", so that I know that they know what they did wrong was wrong & why it was wrong. No offense to those of you who choose to spank. I just don't think it's an effective way to parent. Not to mention, I grew up in an abusive home & would never in my life allow anyone to bring any type of violence against my own children, especially by my own hand.
My old man once told me "I can't make you do the right thing but I can damn well make you wish you had." After a beating from his belt, I only had to use one wish. Beat your kids folks. They will love you for it later.
There is a difference in beating and spanking. I was spanked as a child, and it did a lot of good. I have a loving relationship with my parents and the utmost respect for them. They loved me so much and still do. No offense taken.It is effective for some of us.
