Teenagers Roaming the Stores

Has two jobs already. Down time is few and far between!
Sherry

 

I have read all of the posts and i have not yet seen ANYONE defending this behavior , Sorry you took these posts wrong , Maybe you should read them again ..

 

I give up. Example: Tell the darn manager!
Sherry

 

I also have a teen that I occasionally drop off to watch movies and then go out to eat afterwards with friends. Many of them walk from the theatre at White Oak to the shops/restaurants. I was a little nervous the first time I let her do this but she was with a small group of girls, and they all had cell phones. The point of this (dropping them off unsupervised at a shopping area) is so that they can learn to be independent, and so they can socialize and learn to socialize--three very important things for teens.
You all should try to remember that you were this age once, and that while you thought you were being funny and cool I'm sure there were people you annoyed with your antics. But try to understand that in three, two, one, less years these kids are going to be turned loose on shopping centers and movie theatres without any supervision at all with parents that are hours away and not legally responsible :lol:, and so we parents of teenagers are trying to give them a place to start, to learn what's acceptable behavior (if you need to reprimand or report then do it--those kids know what is allowed and if they aren't sure then teach them), within our set boundaries of time and relationships, so that when they are finally on their own at 18 it won't be for the first time. Most of them are on a cell phone leash. Most of them have reasonable curfews. Most of them are silly and young and loud but not mean or intentionally destructive. Try to be patient and a little understanding. We older parents do it for you ones with young children when we go out to eat and your baby is screaming and throwing food and peering over the top of our booth. Or when we are staying at a hotel and your ten year olds go screaming through the lobby and down the hallway in mass at your sports tournaments. And who's to say whether those teens have intentions of buying or not? My daughter has a job and money. She has as much right to browse as anyone, even if she does it a little louder or gigglier than you might.

 

My issue is not with the kids being dropped off to go to a movie and out to eat as long as they are making an attempt at some level of maturity. Teaching maturity and respect for others is just as important as being independant. There is no excuse for being loud in an establishment where there are other people present. To imply that teens being obnoxious is the same as a 3 year old acting out or even a 10 year old is ridiculous. Besides the fact that if my 3 year old is acting up and disturbing others I will take him out of the store, which is exactly what should happen to disruptive teens. And I believe it's called loitering (someone will correct me if I'm wrong ) if they are simply hanging out and not intending to buy anything. You daughter may not even act like the teens in question. This is not meant to be aimed at any person's child in paticular. And I appreciate you saying that if they are acting out to report them because that's what I'd do.

 

You have some valid points. And IF your kid is behaved, then fine.

For the record, my child has NEVER been allowed to bother other patrons in a restaurant, be loud and obnoxious, cry, run through the restuarant...........whatever the case may be. Because I try to have consideration for other folks around me. I was also never allowed to horse around in public for the heck of it and I managed to hone my social skills just fine. 8)

 

I guess I'm just, as a parent of a teen, trying to ask for a little more patience for our local teenagers and their "hanging out". You parents with little kids may make every effort to not allow your little person to annoy other people but I can pretty much guarantee that it is going to happen. Kids are just like that, by definition. You may remove them if they cry, but the fact is they DID cry, and it might have sent some old lady's hearing aid on a tizzy during her one nice meal out that month. Little junior may have done a stinky on the airplane and everyone else is trying to figure out how to get the oxygen masks to drop and meanwhile you can't change it because you're getting ready to land. Your little miss Sally Pigtails is on her first sports tournament with a great group of girls and they are hyped, and hyper, and so excited and somebody gave them goody-bags with sugar and soda to wash it down with and no matter what you try they are going to run everywhere and can't seem to find their inside voices to save their lives. And while you can keep them from destroying the place, and generally contained in the same area, they are louder than most adults care for but winning the battle just isn't worth killing the joy. Our teens can make it through the day without diapers now, and they are too worried about appearances to race through hotel hallways shreaking, and they don't talk over each other any more. They generally make it through restaurant meals without crying, although I'm sure they still may occasionally throw some food, but their aim is better now and it probably won't make it to your table. But I'm not sure they can shop without touching yet, or giggling. They don't pick up after themselves very well yet but we're working hard on it at home I tell ya. They have to try out those taboo words when the parents aren't around, but you should feel free to ask them to stick a sock in it if you hear them. They are self-centered, a little narcissitic, and haven't lived long enough to develop a real sense of empathy about very much, but when they leave a pile of shoes mangled in the shoe aisle you should feel free to ask them if they could please pick them up and remind them that someone worked hard to make it easy for them to find them in the first place. Teens appreciate a gentle tone and a wink, they really don't mean to be bad most of the time. They, like your toddlers and tweens, are learning. Be kind. As with all people, there will be some truly rotten ones but please don't let the one bad apple spoil the bunch for you. Teens have a lot to offer.

 

Very well said

 

Yeah right!..I used to teach these teens. Most, but nowhere near all, do behave. And with any group behaviors, the lowered standards of conduct become the new standard. I've had students that were usually well behaved in class to completely lose their common sense as part of the crowd.

I'd love to watch you try to tighten this crowd up, just for the grins and giggles from them, and the total disrespect you'd find and experience. First thing they'd tell you is that you aren't their parents. The language discourse would degrade quite rapidly after that, with no one owning up to the first cuss word, but the crowd quickly taking it up, more loudly as they see your discomfort.

Individually, I get along with these kids, showing mutual respect. In public and in a crowd, the half life of this is short and their awareness of this rapidly deteriorates. Individually, they may feel discomfort. They're not about to say anything to the crowd and become an outcast. The kids who lead, don't make horse's patoots of themselves.

 

I could care less about teenagers roaming about as long as they are acting like they are suppose to. Personally, there is no way in H-E double hockey sticks I would drop my kid off to have free reign over a place like White Oak. Drop off/pick up at the movies perhaps, but not access to the whole place. That's just dangerous on so many levels.

 

What he said.

 

Here! Here! And I didn't have a horse in this race. I personally never dropped my, now 20 year old or now 17 year old, off at any shopping center to let them have their little bit of freedom, just don't think this is the way to establish responsibility etc. JMHO. Both my kids are responsible, well behaved young adults that didn't need to be dropped off at the corner shopping center to learn to be independent, they learned that from their dad and me. Good example is our 20 year old college student, who has a parttime job and a full load of credit hours (18 this semester with all As) and she didn't learn to be independent and responsible by me dropping her off at a shopping center. I just think your asking for a load of potential trouble doing this, JMHO. I think the biggest issue is their safety. Whether they are with a big group of kids their own age or with a small group of friends the potential for trouble/danger is too great now-a-days to risk something happening to your child, to many mean adults and other teens out there these days. The young ones below the age of 16 have no business being dropped off, 16-17 is oldest enough for them to start to have their little bit of freedom etc. to prepare for life after high school. The last two years of high school is enough time for them to establish all that is needed before they enter into the real world and even then their not prepared as one would like. If your dropping your 13,14,15-year-old off at the movies and letting them walk to McDonalds obviously you haven't taken a good look at the people hanging out in that shopping center, but of course not any of the 4042er's, talking about the creeps out there. Ask yourself the question. Could your 14-15 year daughter/son handle a situation if some stranger came up and grabbed their arm, told them to come with him or he'd hurt them? This is a scenario that occurs every day in our country with the end result every parents nightmare. Just think twice before dropping your child off the next time or better yet don't do it. To each his own.